Earthbound Angels
by Julia Fernandez Hiwatari
Summary: Kai Hiwatari, who is one of two doctors in a small town, is riddled with guilt about a long-ago event and searching for closure. In time he finds strength in giving sanctuary to those in need of it.
1. Prologue

**Earthbound Angels**

Beyblade

Genre: AU

Rated: M

 **Prologue:**

The storm seemed to rage on for hours. She knew it'd been going on for a while but wasn't sure for exactly how long. She remembered seeing the lightning and hearing the thunder in the evening. In time, it was followed by the wind and rain. Seemingly in a trance she gazed at it up til now, late into the night.

The boney maiden with dark pink hair sat on the bare floor as she watched the storm go by through the very large window in front of her. Her extremely long hair was sprawled out and seemed to litter the area around her. Her right hand was pressed against the glass attentively. She seemed to be lost in it, captivated.  
The thunder filled her ears, and the lightning lit up her golden eyes, making them burst into a display of shades. To her, the intense rain sounded like pebbles as it pounded on the two windows and tin roof of the small cabin she was in. The cabin sat in the back of the woods shrouded in the shadows of the many trees and bushes, which deviated from the local's hiking trails that led to and from the village. She sighed contently, for once feeling relaxed and at peace.  
A gasp and grunts rapidly escaped her lips as she felt cold hands on her skin. The arms of an unseen figure snaked their way around her body. The pressure was making it hard for her to breathe.  
No longer feeling the floor beneath her and seeing her perspective change a time or two, the youth realized that she was roughly being lifted, tossed and turned in the person's strong arms. She was being carried out of the larger room and headed into the much smaller one that was adjacent to it. The rooms being separated only by a narrow hallway. Despite the sounds of discomfort, she didn't really care how she was handled. She was numb to her owner's touch by now. She was placed on a bed, fright in her eyes. Oh how she hated this.  
She heard the figure leave the room and head down the hallway, where she knew a small bathroom was. While she lay there nude on that sheet covered mattress, she listened to the storm again. This time it was through the much smaller window that sat just a few inches above her head. Her ivory skin and the room were softly illuminated by a single lantern.

She heard short footsteps, signaling that he had returned. She dared not protest as a pair of lips feverishly crashed down onto hers. She knew if she did there would be dire consequences, and though she welcomed death like one would an old friend, she didn't want to bear the torture. Not for a second time. By dawn, the storm had subsided, taking more of her will with it.

To Be Continued…

 **Something new, and rather dark, from me. Chapter one will be posted soon. I hope you all like this. I originally was going to make this into an original work but was flipflopping on the issue because I didn't know how the public would to react to such sensitive material. I guess I'll find out here what you all think. So please feel free to give some feedback. Note, if you like this or Resemblance then you'll like my original works, And, please don't hate me, things will get better. Take care all! ^^**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: On My First Night Home**

Somewhere in the countryside, on the outskirts of Japan, was a small town and in this tree laden place sat a two-story home. The home was painted white and styled to resemble a western abode from the 1970s, decorated with a slate roof and old brick chimney. The two front doors were locked. The outer door was made of glass with black metal framing it and a vine-like décor going around and around from top to bottom. The other door was white and made of wood. For four out of the five windows, the cream colored curtains were drawn.  
An aged broom, a dirty gray dustpan, and a metal pail that was full of grime were leaning on the outer door. This showed that everything had been freshly swept. Whoever lived there was home, two of them anyway. The two people were a middle-aged woman and a teenage boy.

Red and brown leaves danced as they blew down and around the second-floor window on the right side of the dwelling. The brittle tree limbs slightly bounced and swayed with the subtle breeze. The glass on the window was slowly starting to fog up, giving visual signs to the ever-dropping temperature outside.

A set of warm, wine-red eyes blinked as they followed more leaves as they moved with the wind. This was the dance that Mother Nature was doing to entertain whoever wanted to watch. At least that's how those eyes saw it.  
These expressive orbs belonged to a boy with light tan skin. He cleared his throat while the last leaf fell from the tree and landed on the ever-growing pile below in the front yard. He sighed, turning his lowered gaze away. Great, there was now more work for him to do tomorrow. As if he didn't already have enough on his plate.  
While walking across his cramped bedroom's floor he heard his boots pounding steadily on its wooden surface. Coming to a stop he looked into the body mirror that was hanging on the back of his bedroom door. He watched absentmindedly as the shadows coating his room seem to grow and paint on him as well; making his high cheekbones, narrow nose, collarbone, and long, thin lips become more prominent. The bones of his exposed body parts jutted out like sharp rocks in sand. His two-tone hair was layered and choppy, a complete mess. He'd cut it himself not too long ago, the bluish slate mingling poorly with the black in the back. His baggy black sweatshirt went well past his waist, stopping near his knees. It hung low on him. Why, because it was four sizes too big for him. The loose-fitting dark green cargo pants were the same way. Being just two sizes too big though and held up by a single red belt. The weighted brown boots fit his feet comfortably though so that was nice.  
He found it funny. Everything he was wearing made him look all the more anorexic, reminiscent of someone who hadn't eaten proper shit in weeks or longer. His hands, besides his waist, were the thinnest part of him really.  
Despite what the dark circles under his eyes told people, he wasn't sleep deprived. At first glance he looked ill and homeless despite that fact. His 5'11 frame didn't help how he or others viewed himself either. Honestly, he thought of himself as a mooching, dirty bum. Not the only son of a well-to-do businessman.  
He grimaced and tore away toward his bed which sat on the far wall across from the door. As he walked he snapped his fingers, causing the lamp on his bedside table to come on. It illuminated him and his room pretty well but not enough that people could see in.  
He sat down. Slouched slightly he could still see his legs in the mirror. He let out a groan of disgust and threw himself back on the dark blue bedding.  
He let the quiet of the house engulf him. He loved when it was like this. The teen's arms were locked behind his head and his fingers were laced together. His eyes silently followed the chains of his white ceiling fan as it spun.  
… How he hated his reflection.  
The boy slowly turned his head to the side and peered over at his window. The wind from the fan swayed his curtains, making them catch his eye. He often thought they complimented the eggshell walls of this room. Through them, he noticed outside. The skies were darkening. Right now, it was a little after sundown.  
Three loud beeps near his ear made him quickly turn, roll over, and jolt up. He sat there with wide eyes. The three beeps erupted, it seemed, from nowhere. His breathing became shallow and he could hear his heart beating. What made him jump like that? Normally he wasn't that easy to scare. He and Makoto marathoned gore and gross-out movies for fun almost every night in October so a sudden noise was nothing to him, usually.  
He'd been on edge all day but he didn't know the reason why. No, he did know- _Beep beep beep!_ Then he remembered and his face fell into his hands. Embarrassed because of his own stupidity. He had a phone. His cell phone was going off, and it was right next to him on his bed. How had he forgotten about it? He turned, looking at it. He moved to pick it up and held his old, black phone in his right hand. He tightened his grip on it.  
He grunted, slowly pushing himself up, and standing straight. He didn't bother to look at the screen. He already knew who it was and what the beeps meant… two missed calls.  
"What does she want now?" he grumbled to himself. He'd already done all there was to do today.  
He rolled his eyes and sneered at the thought of raking and cleaning again, on top of the usual house stuff. More "stuff" always got added as the day went on. As a matter-of-fact, why was it all always put on him?! He didn't get it.  
 _It's like she has nothing better to do. She seems to enjoy wasting my time and making my life miserable,_ he thought. What was there left for him to do anyway?  
He wracked his brain for what felt like the millionth time that day, making a mental checklist of the various chores that he'd done. Nothing came to mind. He breathed to calm himself, pushing his emotions down as he always did. He stuffed the phone in the pocket of his sweatshirt and walked toward his door. Maybe if he left his room he'd remember? He snapped his fingers again, causing the lamp to turn off. It was darker than before, now completely blanketed in black.  
He opened the door and shut it. He stepped out on to the black wood hallway that stretched to the other side of the house. Its narrowness and extended railing made it resemble a balcony.  
He looked over it to see the front door, the archway, and the entire living room. Next to that, in a corner, was the kitchen which had its swinging door shut. Looking around he took in the walls and floors of the downstairs that were the same colors and surfaces as upstairs. The winding staircase that led up to where he stood had the same dark wood on its steps. The only different places were his room and his parent's room.  
He reluctantly walked down the hall and soon stood in front of a white door. He knocked, opened it and went inside what he knew was his parent's bedroom. He closed the door behind him as he walked in and turned toward an unseen corner of the room.  
"Hey, sweetie," came a disembodied woman's voice. He heard the door lock itself with a resounding click.  
Now he remembered what he'd forgotten.

* * *

The front door pushed open to reveal a 6-foot tall man who looked to be in his mid to late-thirties. Clad in a nice, black business suit with a tie and shoes to match he walked in holding a leather briefcase in each hand. He also had a navy blue messenger bag that seemed to be thrown over his shoulder, bouncing slightly off of his hip as he walked. The man was firm in his strides, almost like he commanded respect the moment he entered the room. He had lanky limbs and short two-tone hair, akin to his son's. His pale skin contrasted with the clothing he was wearing, all except for the white button-up beneath his jacket. The collars of which were folded down over one another.  
The gentleman dropped his bags to the floor with a thud and removed the other one, laying it next to the others. He noticed a muddy set of shoes on the mat that sat near the door. He knew those were his son's shoes. The ones he wore when he did yard work. He removed his jacket and tie and hung them on the coat rack, which stood on the other side of the door.  
Underneath the fabric the definition of his arms and torso were visible. A black button-up vest was layered over the shirt. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows and a dark brown belt was holding up his pants.  
He picked up all of his bags and neatly laid them by a red recliner that sat in the living room, adjacent to that was a worn brown couch. Both of those things sat around a glass top coffee table that had black metal legs. In front of all that was a fireplace with a flat screen TV hanging a good height above it.  
He walked around some more and with his bright crimson eyes, noticed how clean the entire downstairs was. It made him happy to come into a clean house. Let alone one as thoroughly cleaned as this. Even the walls looked like they'd been washed down. He wasn't complaining, just shocked, to say the least. He was sure the upstairs looked just as good, it had to. Speaking of upstairs, he hurriedly ran to them and up a few steps. Stopping, he yelled up, his deep voice echoing throughout the silence,  
"I'm home!"  
"I'm up here. Welcome back," He heard what he knew was a bedroom door being opened and closed because it squeaked a bit.  
"Well, don't just stand there. Come down, I wanna see you," the older man said as he walked further up the stairs. He said it with a big smile. God, he was happy to be home. The man stopped, now halfway between the upper and lower halves of their home. Deciding to be patient he stood there and waited.  
Less than a minute later, the man heard quick footsteps coming toward the stairs and before he could react, he felt his son's arms around him. The hug around his neck was tight and held relief. He must be just as happy.  
"Hey, dad," he said. He'd really missed him, more than he could say.  
"Hey, Gou. My little man," the older one replied. Needless to say, he'd missed him too. Though neither would admit it, that month apart was way too long.  
The moment Gou felt arms touch the lower half of his back he recoiled, swiftly letting go and jumping back. His dad, not surprisingly, looked on in confusion. He noticed that the teen was holding his back with both hands.  
"What's wrong?" he asked, concern evident.

"Just a backache, don't worry about it," Gou spoke. He was trying to mask his pain but something told him he was failing miserably.  
"How'd your back get that way?" The teen stayed silent, straightening up as the pain eased off. He looked at his dad.  
"Fine, you don't have to tell me, I was just wondering if everything was all right. I haven't seen you or her for a time. I'm going to go say hi, then let's all hang out downstairs. We can watch a movie, okay?"  
 _Now's your chance._ rang a little voice inside Gou's head. He wanted to so badly but he couldn't bring his mouth to form the words.  
The soft smile that his father gave off was very kind and welcoming, soothing and warm, something he'd always wished he could give to others. Then, as that thought left his mind, he remembered. Gou looked at the floor and said,  
"Dad, mom and I need some time to ourselves." His dad's smile quickly faded away into a straight face. He understood though disappointment was clearly seen in his eyes. He hoped his son didn't see it though. "You see, I've been really busy lately so we haven't gotten to spend much time together at all. I'll come downstairs later."  
Gou turned and headed slowly back up the stairs, and as he reached the hall he could hear the kitchen door being opened. Yeah, his dad was hurt and he couldn't blame him. He felt sick inside. He hated being the cause of that.  
Gou's head hung low, and though he was away from his dad's gaze and it didn't really matter, he just couldn't keep his chin up anymore. He knew the smile that was on his dad's face was gone and what replaced it was an angry, saddened, and disappointed expression.

The man watched his young son turn in the direction of the bedroom. When he was out of sight, he went into the kitchen. He let the door swing back and forth not caring about the noise it made. He needed something to drink regardless of the situation.  
 _I need some coffee,_ he thought as he went over to the coffee pot and pushed the silver button.  
The black coffee pot sat in the corner of the kitchen on a small notch of the counter in between the black stove and white fridge. At the very back of the kitchen was a screen door. It was locked and led out to the back porch and small backyard. Above all of that were the large wooden cabinets that seemed to put a frame around the room, stopping on either side of the fridge. Some of them even had locks on them. Something else the man noticed when he looked around the house was the trim and crevasses on the railings. Either they had been painted again or cleaned, he figured the latter, remembering his son's back. He reached up to get a mug from the cabinet above the pot. As it brewed he sighed, tiredly leaning over the granite countertop.  
A few minutes later the pot beeped a few times and a green light flashed, signaling the coffee was done. He poured the cup and headed for the living room. He set the mug on the coffee table and sat in the recliner.  
 _Why is it always like this when I come home? Whether he's coming home from school or I've come back from a work-related trip. What have I done to make him act this way towards me?_ he thought, leaning back and stretching out.

* * *

About an hour later Gou limped across the hall and into the bathroom. After thirty minutes he came out and went directly to his room, closing the door as he stepped through the entryway. He grunted in the midst of taking another step. It hurt to walk, as always. Even on his best days it was hard as hell to move.  
He closed his eyes tightly as he felt what little strength he had left sink to zero. He slowly slid down the door, letting one hand stay on it. The arm stretched out as he went down. The reason he did this was so that when he hit the floor, he wouldn't yell out in agony.

"Why me?" he said. His arm slid the rest of the way making a slight squeak as it moved and, just like the rest of him, hit the floor with a light tap.  
Opening his eyes Gou got up from his squatting position, which dreadfully hurt mind you, and walked as best he could over to his desk and turned on the lamp that was on it. He moved to sit in the chair while he pulled it out, making sure not to hurt himself more.  
He lay his head down, using his arms as a pillow. Beneath his arms laid a black, hardback journal and a ballpoint pen of the same color. The journal looked old, but also like it had been taken care of. As he lay there Gou closed his eyes and breathed in to try and relax.

 _You should tell him. He told you long ago that you could tell him anything, so you should,_ spoke the little voice in his head. He knew it was his conscience talking to him. It mirrored him, but there was one major difference between this voice and his own: it always spoke the truth.  
"He wouldn't understand," Gou whispered, trying to ignore the tight knot in his gut and the heavy lump forming in his throat.  
 _Gou Hiwatari,_ came the voice again.  
 _No, that okay with you, Doctor?_ he thought sternly.  
 _I'm serious,_ the voice said after a bit of silence.  
 _As am I,_ he thought back. He was on the verge of tears.  
"Gou, dear, I need your help with something." She'd knocked him out of his reverie, making him jolt upright.

 _Man that hurt,_ he thought. She seemed to do that a lot. It sounded like she was yelling for him from the stairs. What on earth was she doing there?

"I'm afraid your father is out again," she added.  
"Shit!" Gou said, slamming his fist onto the table. The journal and pen bounced and moved slightly but didn't hit the floor. The cup full of spare pens and other items, as well as the lamp, wobbled too. He begrudgingly got up, his chair spinning.  
The black, double strapped, cuff watch that he had on his left wrist beeped twice as he moved. He slowed to a stop and lifted his arm, moving his sleeve to look at it. The hands read 9:45PM. He growled, dropping his arm and slamming his door shut as he left. At this point, Gou didn't care about anyone or anything, not even himself.

* * *

Later that night, around 10PM Gou's father, known as Kai Hiwatari to many others, awoke with a hazy mind and dry mouth. He cleared his throat as he moved, which fixed the latter. The chair moved with him, and feeling a little off he retraced his memory.  
 _The last thing I remember is drinking some coffee. What's going on here?_ A muffled scream, followed by a heavy thud hit his ears. He stood up in surprise and looked in the direction of said noises.

 _Upstairs,_ he thought.  
Hearing more thuds and what sounded like bouncing the man dashed toward to the stairs. With every bounce and roll sounds of pain trailed. The moment he reached the stairs he immediately let out his arms. Right on cue, a balled up bundle spun into his sturdy arms. Looking at it he realized it was his son. That wasn't all he noticed though; he also saw that his son was completely naked. What the hell?  
Kai stepped slowly, inching away from the stairs as he looked down at him. He sped up, carrying his son toward the chair he was previously in. The now heavy and swift steps showed that he was in anything but a good mood. While holding his little boy he could feel his warm, haggard breath on his chest. Beneath his fingers he could feel the numerous scabs, bumps, bruises, fresh cuts, and various old scars that the teen was covered in. The wounds practically coated him in another layer of skin. The man was beyond baffled but he didn't allow his face to falter.  
 _How did I not see the signs…_ he thought.

 **Dundunduuuun. What will Kai's reaction be to this? Find out in chapter two! Feel free to leave any comments you'd like. They're much appreciated. :)**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: Reaction**

Kai sat Gou in the chair, being careful about how he placed him in it. While standing back up Kai noticed his thirteen-year-old was trying to change his position but couldn't. In the end, Gou just gave up and decided to stay in the fetal position.  
Kai stood tall, and after striking a match on the sole of his shoe threw it into the fireplace. The moment it hit, the timber was set ablaze. The teen eased into the fabric that now surrounded him and unexpectedly found the dark green comforter from the nearby closet covering him from his chin all the way down to the floor. The warmth of it enveloped him too. That was followed by his dad stomping up the stairs, his steps echoing. Yup, this was it, he knew.

"Monica!" Kai roared. He could hear his father scream it to the woman as he went up.

"Yes, baby?" Gou heard her say sweetly. After that everything became muffled due to him zoning out.

 _Now what will he do? Will he choose me, or her?_ he thought, his lips tightening together.

With a heavy breath, Gou dropped his head on his arms. He was scared beyond belief and his heart was pounding so hard he was afraid his chest would bust.

He could clearly picture the smile on her face. It always angered him how much she would deceive people. Especially his father, her husband, of all people.

To quell his rising nerves Gou peered into the fire. He figured that was why his father started it to begin with and he had to admit, it was kind of working.  
"Get the _fuck_ out of my house!" Those seven words screamed by his father knocked him out of his haze and made his wide gaze snap toward the stairs.

What he saw next was the woman running and screaming down the stairs in a panic. He saw her long black hair fly and her tan skin rush by him from the side. The cool breeze she created moving his hair subtly.

Her petite frame and all-leg build made her light on her feet, but not quick enough. Heavy footsteps immediately followed, pounding down at breakneck speed. Gou watched in fright as the woman was being chased, more or less, out into the night. His gaze followed them until they were out of sight, the door slamming so hard that it violently shook the house, making the teen nearly jump out of his skin. Gou looked at the fire again.  
Out of thin air, the sound of sirens was heard. The blaring noise coated his ears, meaning he heard nothing but that. His blood ran cold, his heavy eyes filled with fear as they became louder and louder. Upon seeing the red and blue hues reflecting off the walls, the color drained from his face. He just knew he was going to vomit.

 _Sirens? No,_ he thought, a quivering hand moving to cover his mouth.

Soft, steady steps slowly made their way into the living room and over to where Gou was. Gou didn't hear them though. He was once again lost, eyes locked solely on the blanket this time. He was in his own world, in the safety of his mind. It was where he went when things got rough.  
The youth was roused from his 'dream' when a cool hand placed itself on his shoulder. He looked to see his father standing next to him, silently towering over him. The boy felt as though he was shrinking, sinking into the thick seat, but that was okay. He wasn't scared of his dad... Just his decision. Gou's eyes were locked on his old man as he steadily strode around to the front of the chair, his callused hand gliding effortlessly off his shoulder and back to his side.

The man eyed his son, his hard features gradually softened, and that 'fatherly' smile appeared on his face again. The eyes and smile spoke of love and protection, silently telling Gou not to worry and that it would all be fine. Because _he_ was finally here.

"Get as comfortable as you can. I'll be right back," he said soothingly.

"But the cops," Gou said.

"I'll handle them," he said affirmably.  
"How?" Gou asked.

"Don't worry about it," he said. His father then pulled out a small journal from beneath his left arm. It was brown with pink flowers on it. In Gou's opinion, it was hideous.

 _Mom kept a journal too?_ he thought.  
" _This_ ," Kai emphasized, putting his arm down. "just might be all we need."  
"That's it? It's that easy?" Gou asked. He paused and added, "How do you know?"

"Trust me, I just do," Kai said as he walked off. As usual, Gou watched every move his father made.

Kai strode toward the cops that were standing in the doorway and led them outside, closing the doors. They seemed to be waiting for him and that was fine, he half-expected it.

He extended his hand, and the cop on the right took the journal with his own rubber gloved one and put it in the brown paper bag that his partner was holding open. The two responders were dressed in all black. Both standing of average height and thin. The one on the right, named Max, had freckled pale skin with poofy blonde hair and sunny sea blue eyes. Kenny, his partner, had fair skin with reddish-brown hair that was styled in a small mullet and bright green eyes. Gou's father knew the two quite well, but this was a call, so he couldn't act like he did.

"We're going to need to read his too, if he has one." Kenny spoke. Kai nodded.

"We also need pictures and medical reports. Plus a signature from the doctor. Proof that he was seen by someone _other_ than you. No offense," Max said.  
"Understood," he said.

"However," Kai pulled out his wallet. The black leather was tattered and looked like it was ready to fall apart at any moment; well it was over ten years old. He handed Kenny a laminated card. On the card was a map with an airplane route leading from their local airport to Asia. "after you get what you want from Dr. Joe I'll take over his care." The two observed the card then gazed again at their longtime friend.

"Yes, Mr. Hiwatari," Max said. Kenny handed the card back to him and he put the card back in his wallet. He looked at them stoically, which was the usual expression he carried.

"Is that all?" Kai asked, giving them his wallet.

"Yes, sir," Max said. The two cops left and with that, the man turned toward his home. He heard them drive off, knowing Monica was handcuffed in the backseat.

Once inside, Kai closed and locked the doors. He walked over to his son and embraced him, being careful not to hurt him any further.

 **To be continued...**

 **I hope you all are enjoying this story. Hopefully I haven't lost any of you. LOL. If you like, feel free to leave a comment, if not that's ok. I appreciate you stopping by. :) I will post and/or update something soon. :)**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Right Here**

"I'm sorry, son. I'm so, _so_ sorry," Kai said, tearing up and burying his head in the crook of his neck.  
"There's no way you could've known, so don't worry about it," Gou told him. He knew his dad felt guilty and that he would do his best to mend wounds.

"Dad, you believed me. That means more to me than anything," he assured. Unfortunately, Gou couldn't hug his father back but something told him that the man hugging him understood.

 _You rescued me. Thank you,_ Gou thought.  
"My journal," His father pulled away at his words and stood up, wiping his eyes. "it's on my desk. Can you go get it for me?"

"Like it or not they're going to have to read that," he told him. Gou looked at him.  
"Why? But, ten years ago you said-"  
"I know what I said," he paused, choosing his words carefully. "It's so they can see both sides of the story. I've no doubt they'll take yours and lock her away." Gou sighed and said,

"I get it. I'll give it to you after I make my entry for the day," His father nodded, agreeing to that, and headed up the stairs.  
Gou didn't want anyone reading his journal, but he understood that it had to be done. It was so he would be left alone. Not to mention move on with his life. There was so much in there that he wanted to keep to himself though. He wasn't what people called emo by any means, it was just that his experiences made him a very private person. According to Makoto, he was the king of all introverts. Overall, he used those pages to get a lot out.

Kai walked slowly, and with every step, the weight of what just transpired became more intense and his chest became tight because of it. Turning the corner toward his son's room he stopped and stood there, seeming to be lost in thought. Hesitantly, he put his hand on the knob and opened the door.

Flipping the light switch on the wall, Kai was met right away with a pile of clothes on his son's bed, which he knew to be pajamas, his old-as-the-hills cell phone, and his recently purchased copy of _The Lord of the Rings._ He could tell it was recently bought because of the date on the wrinkled receipt that was being used as a bookmark. The book was thicker than one of Chicago's deep-dish pizzas in his opinion. He figured it was a three-in-one kind of book. He picked everything up off of his bed and while holding that went over to grab the journal.

 _This brings me back,_ he thought.

* * *

"Daddy! Daddy," a young Gou yelled excitedly as he ran swiftly down the stairs and up to his dad.

Kai was sitting on the couch thoroughly going over some files and other paperwork that were scattered on the coffee table. He was so engulfed in his work that when his son tackled him, he jumped.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," he said, laughing as he put a loving arm around him.

"Today's my birthday. I'm three-years-old," he excitedly said. Bright, enthusiastic crimson looked up at their jaded counterpart.

 _You_ _ran_ _all_ _the_ _way_ down _here_ just _to_ _tell_ _me_ _that?_ he Thought, lifting his son to give him a hug. He could feel the plain, baggy t-shirt Gou was wearing scrunch up in his muscular arms.

He wasn't angry at all, just shocked that he ran down to tell him something like that. Something he'd told him when he put him to bed last night. Kai had to keep reminding himself that Gou was still a kid, and for a lot of children, birthdays are a big deal.

"I know it is, Happy Birthday, big boy," he said smiling. Gou hugged him back tightly. Well, as tightly as his little arms could muster. He then moved to sit next to him on the couch.

"What are you doing?"  
"Something important, stuff for Dr. Joe,"  
"What's so important you have to have the whole living room? You're supposed to share," Kai looked at him again, putting down his ink pen. He knew his son wanted to draw in here but he would just have to wait.

"I never said I had to. I just need the coffee table because I don't have my office finished yet," he said, looking away and going back over his papers again.  
"Why? What are the papers about?" Kai rolled his eyes. As much as he loved his little boy he didn't have time to answer questions. He peered at the clock on the wall.  
 _11:30,_ he thought. He had to have this stuff done by one o'clock, no exceptions.  
"Because I haven't had the time, Gou. Daddy's unfortunately gone a lot, and what he's working on is something that will help the family. It'll give us the money for food and other things that are hard to do and get right now." Gou flinched at his father's voice and looked away, his gaze lowering. Kai's face softened upon seeing that. He didn't like raising his voice to anyone unless it was absolutely necessary. He couldn't tell you why that's just how he was.  
"Gou, look at me. _Look at me._ " Kai made their eyes meet by moving the boy's head with his fingers. "As soon as I get back we'll hang out. I promise. Just try and be patient," he told him in a soothing tone. Kai hated seeing his boy so sad, but he couldn't do anything about it. This was his life now and he'd have to grin and bear it.  
"But I don't wanna be left here with mommy. I want to go with you,"  
"You're too young. When you're a bit older I'll take you with me, on some things." Gou nodded, trying to show that he understood but Kai knew otherwise. It was then that the older man cleared his throat and stood up, his hands behind his back.  
"I have something for you. I was going to wait 'til tonight, but something tells me you need it now."

At seeing his son's eyes light up in anticipation, Kai held out a thick, black journal. Gou took it in his chubby hands, surprised but also unsure of what his father had just given him. "I know it won't make up for me being gone a lot, but I hope this serves as some kind of comfort,"  
"What is it?" he asked, looking at him, the sparkle subsiding a bit.

"It's a private book. A journal. A diary, just for you. I made it for you. Remember that no one else is allowed to look at it but you. Not even me,"

"What do I do with it?"

"Well, you can draw in it, and when you learn your letters better, you can write in it too," Gou's eyes flared up again at the thought of drawing.

"It's so big!"  
"Yeah, it should last you a long time."  
Feeling better, Gou jumped down off the couch and hugged the tall man tightly, head butting him in the groin, but Kai didn't mind. He was just happy knowing his son was smiling again.  
"Thank you, daddy," Gou yelled as he ran up the stairs. Kai smiled as he watched him go, delighted. After that, he went back to his papers.

* * *

Kai picked the aging book up with the pen and headed back down. He knew he'd forgotten the light and the door but that didn't matter right now.  
Kai walked into the living room to find Gou zoned out again.

"Gou? Gou?" Said boy blinked at him, coming to.

"It's gonna be alright. Here," he added, while he held the journal out to him.  
"Thanks," Gou said in a whisper, tiredly taking it. He turned to an empty page and, with the click of his pen, started writing.  
"Not a problem."  
"Dad?" Gou spoke.

"Mm?" he said as he laid everything else on the coffee table.  
"Thank you."

Feeling the weight of the words he looked at him and didn't know what to say to that. A simple "You're welcome" wouldn't even begin to suffice. At least that's how he felt. He knew the meaning behind those words and in the end, all he could do was smile and nod.

He walked over and ruffled Gou's hair affectionately, making him blush a bit.

Later, after Gou had handed over his diary, his dad helped him get dressed into a baggy t-shirt and clean boxers. After that, he carried him up to bed.

"Tomorrow, I'm going to call Dr. Joe and have him take a look at you,"  
"Don't do that, dad. Please? I'm fine."

The idea of that utterly terrified him. He'd never been examined by the doctor, and he certainly didn't want to go through it, especially not now. He knew it would feel like being violated all over again and he didn't want that.

"It's okay. I know,"  
"What the hell do you know?!" Gou shouted as they entered his room. Kai threw the covers back with a single hand and gently put his son on the sheets.  
"Easy now, just take it slow," he told him. He covered him up and after he got comfortable, the taller one sat himself on the edge of the bed.

"I know that you're terrified. You're afraid because you don't know what he'll do. I was afraid too,"  
"You? No way. You're the bravest guy I know,"  
"I'm only brave because my life calls for me to be." That statement made Gou think.

"Dad, what do you really do for a living? I mean, the way you acted tonight. It wasn't your normal _you_. Does that make any sense?" Kai nodded.

"It does," he said, then he stood up and stretched, his joints popping in several places. He looked at him and said,  
"I'll tell you tomorrow. For now, just try and get some sleep. I'm going to leave our doors open tonight, and don't worry, I won't leave you alone with Dr. Joe. I'll be in the room with you."

Most older boys and girls would find that uncomfortable but not Gou, more than anything, he was relieved.

"Thanks, dad." Kai kissed the top of his head and turned to leave the room, heading toward the end of the hall. Once his back was out of sight, Gou closed his eyes. He was unsure of what tomorrow would bring, but he knew it had to be better than how his life has been so far.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Dismantling the Illusions**

The following morning, Gou was laid back on his bed trying to get his black, boot cut jeans on. This happened more times than he cared to admit. However, unlike his other clothes, these jeans were new, along with the dark purple tank top and a red belt that lay folded at his feet. The outfit was bought for him curtesy of Dr. Joe. Apparently he and his father were good friends.  
After being examined by the old man, who he discovered made House Calls, Gou couldn't help but feel a huge weight lift off his shoulders when he was given a clean bill of health. His father was relieved too.

 _It still hurts when I move, but it's not as bad as before and that's nice. Thank God for strong painkillers,_ he thought, looking at the bandages on his arms, legs, and torso as he wriggled. There was also a regular Band-Aid on either side of his jawline and another one on the left side of his forehead. The bruises and various other dings stuck out like footprints in the snow, but he knew they'd be gone in a week or two. As long as he was at home Gou really didn't care about covering them up, but today he had no such luck, it was a Monday. Also at the foot of his bed were his black sweater, scarf, and coat. Plus his big bottle of foundation.  
"It's going to be hard to make it to my classes on time today," he heaved, finally getting the jeans all the way up, buttoned and zipped. Gou put his new tank top on and grabbed his belt as he rolled off the bed, landing carefully.  
After buckling the belt, which he let hang loosely around his hips, Gou looked at the door. He knew his dad was on the phone, most likely with the police who had got the health reports and photos a little bit ago. How? Dr. Joe dropped them off. He stepped backward and gently sat on the edge of his bed, his eyes never moving from it.

 _What does he think of the past ten years?_ He paused. _It must be rough, not knowing all that was going on, finding it out the way he did._ That phrase had been running through his mind in differently worded strings all morning. He laced his fingers together, his rough thumbs rubbing against his hands. Yeah, he was nervous. There was knocking at his door, and despite it being subtle, Gou still jumped.

"Come in," he uttered, and at the creaking of his knob the door opened.  
In walked his father, a stern but somber look on his face. The diary was tucked underneath his right arm. At least, Gou thought it was his. His father sat down next to him.  
Upon closer inspection Gou realized it was his mother's. Those ugly flowers were what did it. They stuck out to him like the dark wine stain on his neighbor's Welcome mat.

 _Then, where's mine?_ he thought. He was panicking but deep down he knew he'd get it back. He just hoped it'd be sooner rather than later and that it would still be the way it was, you know, intact.  
"How ya feelin'?" Kai started, looking him over. Gou met his dad's warm gaze.  
"Better, just a little tender now," he said and Kai nodded.  
"That's good," he said with a smile. Kai cleared his throat, breaking the silence that was threatening to push him out the door again. After all these years he still wasn't used to doing a basic human function such as talking. Well, not about heavy stuff.

"I called the school and told Principal Gates you weren't coming in,"  
"What did you tell him?" Gou eyed him warily. Did he want to know?  
"The truth."  
"What?!" Gou bellowed. "Dad, no. Please say you're joking," he frantically added.  
"Easy, son," Kai gestured with his hands. "calm down and let me finish." Gou inhaled, not that it did any good.

"I told him that we had a family emergency. And due to the on-going investigation, you'd be doing your schooling from home. Until further notice anyway. He understood and told me he'd have someone drop off your books and assignments." Gou practically leapt onto his feet.

"You told him about the cops and stuff? I can't believe you. You're supposed to be on my side, and I don't want anyone to know about this. You promised me you'd keep it between the three of us and only tell the people that _needed_ to know. No one else!" Even though Gou was still speaking, pretty much telling him off, his father had tuned him out, not to mention had enough. Kai rose to his feet, asserting himself.  
"Gou Hiwatari, sit down and shut up!"

The kid stopped, cutting himself off at the sound of his father's tone. "Think back. I _am_ on your side, but I have to follow the protocols that we have. I got you out of what would've been a lengthy and humiliating trial, didn't I? Please, listen so you'll know what's going on and let me do my job." He sat back down at that. Gou blinked a few times and looked at the wall, his glare away from his dad's. The last part jogged the teen's memory, relaxing his face.  
 _Wait, his job?_ he thought.  
"Dad," he said, turning to him again. "what do you do?" Kai said nothing. "You said you'd tell me today," he added, much calmer than before.

"I'm a doctor. Full-time and I'm on call 24/7. I'm Dr. Joe's assistant. As you know, Joe's the only doctor in the entire town," Gou nodded. Though he'd never been to him until today, he knew that much. Whenever something happened to someone at school Dr. Joe was called in to examine them. "He needed a student, the help. I knew this and asked to be his apprentice after you were born. I'm renowned for my skills, Joe says I'm the best there is next to him." That made sense, of some things, but another question still remained. One that nearly set him off involuntarily.  
"That still doesn't explain why you're gone so much. Besides, I thought you were a businessman," Gou had a point, but Kai had an explanation.  
"That's just a cover-up. Some of my cases have me traveling," A look of apology ran over his features but Gou was blind to it, held back anger boiling over.

"Bullshit! You're gone again as soon as you walk through the damn door! Then-" He let him swear, thinking he needed it. That he himself, in a way, deserved it. As he listened more Kai's face scrunched up in confusion, his brows knit tightly together. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"What are you talking about, Gou? Once I'm home I-"

Knocks erupted on the front door, rattling the house. In turn it made Gou jump and cut him off. Kai got up and, after tossing the diary on the bed, walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Gou heard his heavy steps fade as he went down the stairs. A second later he heard the front doors open.

Gou, without thinking, pulled out a box of matches from his top dresser drawer. He put the match to the despicable thing, lit the book on fire, and threw it out his window. The fire hungrily engulfed it more and more as it fell. When the diary landed in the yard nearly half the book was already consumed. Gou watched until it was nothing but ash and a burn-ring on the grass. The smell of burnt paper and earth brushed by him with the wind. He closed his window, locking it from the inside. The dual haired youth knew what his father was thinking. He'd left him the journal to do with as he pleased and he was thankful for that.

* * *

Downstairs, Kai was leading an old man out of the living room and into the kitchen. He whistled in awe as he looked around.

"Its been quite a while since I've set foot in here. Seriously, you need to redecorate." Kai laughed at that, nearly howling.

"You're crazy, I ain't changin' shit!"

His current company was of average build with light sun kissed skin, short salt and pepper hair, and obsidian eyes. He was in his late seventies, but still incredibly spry which shocked everyone he came across. He was dirty, looked like he'd been digging in the dirt for hours, but Kai knew better.

 _It's not even ten o'clock and he's already had to do surgeries and deliver babies,_ he thought.

"Mornin', Joe," Kai said as he was making his teacher a big cup of coffee. The red plaid and old blue jeans wearing gentleman took a seat at the square dining room table. It sat in a small room that was connected to the kitchen, walls stood on every side minus the opening that led back into the kitchen.  
"If you start spouting puns be rest assured I'm leaving," Dr. Joe stated playfully but tiredly, giving his approaching student a side-eyed glance. "I swear, becoming a parent, dealing with children almost daily. It's done nothing for your sense of humor. You're still as dry as the Sahara." Kai silently set down his dark coffee, black with sugar.  
"I didn't mean for it to be a pun," Kai finally said as he sat down across from him, a small laugh tugging at the corners of his lips. "It just came across as one."  
"Still, unless they're for kids, no more dad jokes. And you know what I mean by that,"  
"Yes, I do, and I don't tell those," Kai retorted, going half-serious at the end. Joe just rolled his eyes in response.

"Of course you don't," he said with laughter.  
"So, how's Gou doing, or have you not checked on him yet?" Joe asked, changing the subject to what he'd visited for. The two-tone haired man took a drink of his light coffee, milk with sugar, and nodded while swallowing.

"I have, and he says he's still sore but it's nowhere near what it was," He put his mug on the table. "thank you again for examining him."  
"Well, it's not like I was going to let you examine him." Kai felt his body tense instantly, his shoulders nearly rising to his chin but he kept quiet and heard him out. He could do that at least. "That'd be awkward and kind of wrong. Besides, you've only ever had one case that was even remotely similar to his and that's using the term 'similarlar' loosely. That said, even if I wasn't able to make it this morning you still would've been waiting. You don't have enough experience to deal with cases like this on the regular."

Kai's lips curled in together and he tightened the grip on his mug as he looked away. While his teacher had a point, what he was really saying was uncalled for, especially at a time like this. Through his bangs he watched Joe gulp down the remainder of his coffee and stand up. He put the mug down and pushed in his chair. Kai finished off his with a big gulp.  
"Uh-uh," he let out after swallowing. Joe looked at him, perplexity written all over his frame. "Sit down. We're going to have a chat," he added coolly. Now, this was odd. Joe did as instructed, not sure what his student of nearly fourteen years could be talking about.  
Joe's eyes connected with his, and for a moment felt like he was looking at a mafia or gang leader. The aura Kai gave off was one of dominance, and dare he say, an icy nature. Kai seemed indifferent, cold, near murderous. Sitting before him was no longer the warm, kind man he'd known for well over a decade, but someone completely foreign. He wanted to get out of there, run, but he knew to stay put.

"Are we, feeling a tad uneasy?" The taller man removed himself from his chair so that he was standing in front of Joe. "Well, that's to be expected when you _piss off_ someone from the Underground." The time for playful banter and so-called niceties was over. Joe began to sweat, noticing the fire consuming the man's eyes.

* * *

Upstairs, Gou was halfway through reading his Lord Of The Rings book, his black headphones from his MP3 blaring the band RED into his ears. Feeling two vibrations against his right leg he jerked a bit and looked down to see his phone ringing. It was next to him on his bed and barely made it passed the second ring when he picked it up.

"Hello?" he said.  
"Yo, man, what's up?" came a cheery, male voice. Gou knew who it was instantly and he smiled.  
"Hey. How ya doin'?" He said.  
"Wait, what? How am _I_ doing? Nah bro, how are you? Do ya have amnesia too? Hello, remember? I'm not the one at home today." Gou had to laugh at that.  
"Ok, ok, I'm doing fine, better."  
"Better? You mean, you finally told uncle what's been going on?" Gou's eyes shifted from one wall to the other.  
"Well, not exactly. He just, sort of, found out,"  
"Found out? Dude, I'm so proud of you! You finally stood up,"  
"Well-"  
Gou recalled the events from last night in detail, and as he did, his heart pounded. Every beat thudded with relief but stress was on the cusp of mixing with it. Though he didn't show it, Gou was traumatized by it all and he wasn't sure how but his dad knew that, let alone seeming to understand.

His heart dropped into his stomach the moment the call came to an end, the dial tone repeating in his ear for a minute or two. He understood it had to be short. He was still at school. Judging by the echo his friend was sneaking the call while in the boys' bathroom. He'd heard no other noises in the background, so he guessed he asked to go to the bathroom and made the call in a stall.

* * *

"To be honest it's taking all I have not to punch you, or throw something in such a way that it shatters right next to your head. Don't ever underestimate me again. I've dealt with more shit than you know. So much more," Kai said.

"I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about your ability as a doctor and how you're not ready to handle a case like your son's," Despite feeling the way he did, Joe was still determined to stick to his guns and not give in to his fear.

"Hush! I may not have had the damn license back then, but I've been helping people like my son since I was knee high so I _know_ how to treat them." Joe stayed quiet, not knowing what to say. Kai took a deep breath and paced around the room.

 _He's trying to calm himself down. That's a good sign,_ Joe thought while he watched him. After a bit Kai stopped and leaned his side against the table.

"You know, just as I do, that I can point out an abused person easily. You said so yourself, but she hid it well. As did my son, so I couldn't tell no matter how closely I looked but now that I know, I _will_ take care of him," he paused, gulping down the tears and heavy lump in his throat. "I understand where you're coming from. Yes, I do. It would be awkward but if it's needed I will take matters into my own hands. You're getting on in years, and you can't do it all by yourself anymore. I'm not trying to call you old Joe but, _damnit- think a fuckin' little will you!_ "

Silence engulfed the two men. The only sounds present were the muffled toc-tics of their pocket watches and the grandfather clock that clicked away, standing firm against the back wall of the room. You could hear a pin drop and echo, that's how thick the air between them was.

"You're an odd one. I know next to nothing about you and yet I let you be my student," Joe slapped the sturdy wooden table and added, "You want your own Practice? Fine. It's been long-enough," Joe stood up again, his gaze never leaving Kai's. The older man had noticed his expression go from anger to disbelief in the fraction of a second. At the swift change, he removed himself from the table and stood limp.

"That wasn't what I was getting at-"

"I know, but that's the only way this can be resolved. It still baffles me how protective you are of him. Then again, I shouldn't be surprised considering-"

"Joe," he paused, taking a breath to steady himself. "I'm not asking for my own clinic. I'm just asking that you let me do what's needed when _you can't_. _Especially_ if it's for my child."

"I understand. We'll talk more about this later. I'll see myself out."

Upon hearing the door shut, Kai felt a surge of numb restlessness and ran up the stairs.

Walking briskly into his room, Kai was met with something small and white near the edge of his neat bed. Approaching it, he picked it up and realized it was a note. He unfolded it and gave it a read.

"Appointment on Tuesday at 4PM. Mr. Angus and his wife Jessica." With a snort, a smile spread across his face and he shook his head.

 _I'm such an idiot,_ he thought. _Glad I found this._ He added, sticking it in his front pocket. _I should really learn to keep them in a drawer or something, so they won't fall out of my pockets again when I get up or move. I've lost tons of notes that way._

After that, he left the room. Kai had something to do. Whether he wanted to do it or not was another thing entirely.


	6. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone! How are you all? I'm tired but good nonetheless.**

 **A word of warning for you all. Do NOT eat while reading this chapter. Gross stuff and language ahead.**

 **On another note, thank you so much to Luxahheart for all the help on this chapter. It turned out great. That's no surprise though, a lot of what she does is fantastic. She and I RPed because I was kind of stuck lol. Go check her stuff out guys! Thank you again, Luxah! :)**

 **Enjoy all! ^^**

 **Chapter Five: The Doctor's Companions**

Gou walked into the bathroom and flicked on the lights, holding some loose clothes in his arms. One of his dad's big dark purple t-shirts and a pair of black sweatpants from his own pajama drawer. In the small-ish room he'd spotted a red towel folded on the lid of the toilet. Upon approaching it, he noticed a small note on it.

Kai let the screen door creak and slam shut as he went out, newly fallen leaves crushed under his shoes as he made his way through the small backyard.

Kai walked over to the shed, which sat at the back of the yard, adjacent to a massive pecan tree with an ageing tire swing dangling from one of its low branches. He opened the sliding metal door and ducked as he went inside.

Looking around, he saw that everything was covered in dust or just really dirty from being used. A push mower sat against the wall, across from that on the other wall was a weed eater and the string that went with it. Kai stood in between the two items and in front of him was nothing but an oily and grass covered floor. He reached up and tugged on an old silver chain. As he pulled it down a set of wooden stairs began to appear. He carefully lowered the steps to the floor and made his way up. They creaked loudly, showing how unkind time and the weather had been to them.

When the man reached the halfway point he leaned forward and put the fingers of his right hand through the handle-like opening of a pretty big box. As he pulled it toward him he walked backwards down the steps and when he was at the bottom he took the box in both of his hands and held it to him. He looked back up the stairs, pondering something.

"I'll get the rest later," he said, heading back inside the house.

Going back inside, Kai set the big box down on the kitchen counter, the pasty wet dirt and oily grime from the bottom of the box, oozing onto the polished surface. Kai went underneath the double sink next to him and grabbed a dish towel and opened it with a hard snap. After draping it over his left forearm, he picked up the box and placed it in the sink. He wiped down the counter, spreading the towel messy side up once he was done, and put the box back where it was, the aged white cloth beneath it. He ran the water on high to get rid of the remaining gunk and turned to look at the grandfather clock.

It was currently 10:30 on a Monday morning. His day started at Noon today and ended whenever he was finished with his last patient. Pushing the long, squeaky silver handle of the tap down, Kai shut off the water and with a groan headed up the stairs.

With every step Kai took, his legs became heavier and heavier and he soon felt tired. Reaching the top, Kai had the urge to just go back to bed, suddenly drained of energy and the will to do anything. Deep down, he knew what was causing this. He didn't want to go, leave the house or go to work, let alone be there for hours on end.

How would Gou act and feel now knowing he had to go? No matter what angle he looked at it from, there was nothing he could do about the work side of things, but maybe he could do something about Gou being here alone. As far as he was concerned, how his boy felt made all the difference in the world, always had. Gou meant more to him than he could ever express. Doesn't mean he didn't make mistakes though. Every parent has. Kai had many regrets in life, but this recent one, it hurt more than any of them before. It didn't even effect him. What's worse, it solely impacted his kid and he couldn't shoulder any of it for him.

 _I_ _should've_ _listened_ , he thought, referring to when Gou had turned three and he told him he didn't want to be here alone with _her_.

It's no question that what happened was absolutely awful, hell he knew from his own experiences how bad it could get. But still, Gou wasn't him, thank God, and every person is different. Every person handles things differently. So, how do you repent for something like this? How does someone like him, in his shoes atone for it, apologize for all the misery he's caused him in his life?

Gou stepped out of the shower. He wrung out his dripping hair and wrapped the towel left for him snuggly around his waist, the steam surrounding him and covering everything in thin, transparent mists.

Kai walked into his bedroom and gathered his black apron from the hook behind the door, along with his bag and briefcases. Yesterday he didn't have any surgeries but later this afternoon he did. It was only two but still, he didn't want to come home caked in blood. Did that once, never again.

Once the strings were knotted and pulled tight, he pulled the edges down to straighten the material out, then he loudly vomited. He stood back up immediately, feeling the vertigo kick in. The hell was that all about? After heaving again and another two times, Kai slammed to his knees with an agonizing scream.

Kai lurched forward and hurled again. His stomach was on fire and horribly mangled with pain. Now theoretically nose to nose with the amber colored hardwood floor, Kai unintentionally got a closer look at his ever-expanding pile of bile. it was chunky in some spots but runny and smooth in others, typical fair really. However, that's not what kept his wide-eyed attention. This acidic pool was black and wreaked of rot.

"Shit!" He hollered with closed eyes, another surge of pain hitting him, his voice nearly cracking. It had been quite a while since he'd yelled out like that.

Now scrunched up on his back, Kai took in a sharp breath with every pulsating throb and with those rattling waves came tighter grips on the fabrics clutched in his strong hands.

"Dad!"

Feeling a small and steady hand grip his trembling and sweaty one, along with some small splashes, Kai forcefully opened his eyes to see his worried son staring down at him.

"Press the big button on my pager three times. It's in my front pocket," Kai told him quickly, strangling another shout. Gou rummaged and did so, three loud beeps coming from the dark purple object. With every press the old thing lit up, showing the signal had been sent. But what about received? Guess they'd find out if the phone rang or heard footsteps.

"I've got you dad! Don't worry."

Gou wasn't entirely sure what was going on but the pain filled look on his dad's face and the mess around him told him this was urgent. He began to panic, his heart pounding. Just then, a clammy and shaky, but still soothing, hand touched his face, cupping his cheek left.

"Daddy's gonna be okay. Ok?" Gou nodded, big tears flooding the rims of his eyes.

In what felt like an eternity, but it was really minutes, a sweaty Dr. Joe arrived. He ran to Kai, fright in his eyes, and turned his head to him.

"What'll it be?" Kai vomited, doing his best to miss the two which only coated him. So he sort of hit his goal. His head swirled back, hitting the floor limply.

"Make it stop, Joe!" Kai roared out, searing pain rocking him again. Joe roughly turned the man's head toward him and forced his eyes open, shining his handheld light in them. At the intense light, Kai screamed.

"I know it hurts your eyes, but they're fully dilated, Anything will hurt them." Dr. Joe looked at Gou who seemed petrified to say the least.

"You need to leave the room,"

"Like hell I'm leaving him!"

"Gou, get out, you don't need to see this!" Gou nodded and ran out, knowing deep down his father was right. He didn't want to see it. No one likes seeing their loved ones in pain.

Joe went back to Kai once Gou was down the hall, his full attention to him. "I have to pick you up. I'm sorry in advance."

"Just shut up and fix me!"

Joe lifted Kai from the pool of bile, some of it running off of the man like small rivers, and rushed him over to his bed, his limbs moving to and fro. He laid him down on it and took out a pair of large medical scissors from his own brown apron. He raised them up and began cutting at the fabric doing its best to cling to his student's body. As Joe cut he heard tired grunts and breathless whimpers.

"Kai, you need to stay awake. I'll turn my headlight on if you don't."

Kai groaned, feeling more bile rise into his throat and felt the burn of it as it forced it's way out. He rolled halfway to the side of the bed just in time, his body shaking uncontrollably as large beads of sweat formed along his bangs.

"J-just get it over with!" He snapped, flopping back down on his back with a shaky breath.

Joe moved aside, trying to miss it, but some vomit still got on his shoes. After Kai landed on his back another wave of pain hit, making his body jerk straight and then he turn to one side. Similar to how Joe had found him. "If you don't hold still I'll tie you down. Now, fill me in on who you are. You're from the Underground right? Didn't you also use to be famous too? What's that kind of life like?" Joe stuck him in his hand with a needle, an ivy drip nearby. He had to keep his mind busy, the more he kept Kai awake, the better.

Kai barely flinched as the needle pierced his hot skin. He was trying his damndest to calm his shaking but knew it wasn't working. The more he did anything, the worse the pain got and it was exhausting him.

"I... I don't know..." He answered, squeezing his eyes tight as another bout of bile rose to his throat.

"Think. You were on a team right? What was the name of it?"

"Blade... Uh... something..." Kai gasped, swallowing the bile, which burned his throat and stomach worse than if he had thrown it up.

"The hell is wrong with me?!"

Kai's body jerked again, causing the crown of his head to hit the headboard with a hard knock. Thank goodness he couldn't feel much of anything, minus some horrible tingling, but he would later. He just knew he would.

"You've clearly been poisoned. Deadly Nightshade I'd say. I gave you some months ago to help others with symptoms of the stomach flu and insomnia. Where is it?" Joe flicked another needle, this one larger and longer than the other one. "I'm sticking a tube into your stomach. We're going to pump it out of you. Activated charcoal, spreads out and stops the absorption further."

Kai flinched, that didn't sound fun at all. "I put it away, I haven't touched the damn thing." He said in a shaky voice, his body being completely covered in sweat. Joe pressed the needle into Kai's side after making a small, one inch incision. An agonizing scream erupted with every movement made but there was nothing that could be done. Kai had to endure it.

"Gou! Get out!" Kai yelled through his painful howls, briefly bolting upright and slamming roughly back down again. He desperately gripped at the fabrics around him; both begging for anything to stop the excruciating pains and so he didn't start swinging. But that didn't stop his lower half from kicking, shoving and rubbing at the bedding with the soles of his steel-toed shoes. Kai had heard Gou's footsteps and knew exactly what was happening. His son was a sneaky devil, but not good enough. He knew he was just worried, scared even, but what he said went.

Joe's enraged gaze snapped toward the door, now having guided the needle into his stomach's lining successfully. "What did I say? Leave us, boy!" At that Joe went over and locked the door. Seriously, why did no one under the age of "near death" listen to him? Getting back to his patient, he looked down. Kai's head swayed effortlessly to one side. This wasn't good.

As much as Kai had tried to fight it, keep his eyes open, the suffering was getting too much. His head was heavy, and his body burning. He tried to count to ten, keep himself awake, it didn't help. His mouth opened but no words came out, and his grip going lax.

"Nonononono, Kai!" Joe rummaged through his bags and pulled out a blow horn. This always worked on the kids.

Kai's eyes shot open, amongst the pain his ears were now ringing and he knew he looked murderous. "The fuck Joe?!" He spat, his head slightly lifting off the bed before it fell back down like a bowling ball.

"You blacked out," the man stated calmly. "Now, where's your stash at?" Joe watched as Kai's eyes went low and to the side, toward the floor. Joe went under his bed and soon found a large, wooden trunk locked with a key inserted into the padlock. He looked at Kai and saw he wanted to strangle someone. Oh dear. Joe opened the trunk and he frowned. This wasn't good.

Kai snorted. So his assumption was correct. Monica, who had stayed in his room and not in her own when he was away, had stolen his spare set of keys and raided it. Using said substance on him whenever she saw fit. Which was practically all the time. Kai allowed himself to slip into his anger by letting out a bitter, dark, chuckle. He muttered, "I knew I should've killed her."

"And lose your son?" Joe slammed the lid shut. "I don't think so." He saw Kai's face go from murderous to relaxed in an instant. "You're a fool ruled by your emotions. You need to retract them at times."

Kai rolled his heavy eyes, only to serve the pain in his head further, which began to sear. "They'd have to figure out it was me that killed the bitch." He said in that same dark tone, his eyes alight with a burning fire in them.

"Yes, well, in this small town it's easy."

Joe leaned forward, checking his head with the back of his hand. "You still have a high fever but I think it'll lower in the coming hours. Looks like she's only given you one vile. That's not good but its a relief. If any more you'd be dead."

Kai gave him a quick jerky nod of the head, "I can still ruin her... After all she's done..." He choked.

"She's in jail Kai. That should be enough."

"Like hell it is!" He growled, lifting his head again.

Joe jerked his head back by his hair and gave him a stinging shot in the neck.

"The fuck is this?!" Kai roared with a hiss. Kai tried to move, to push him away, but like his head his arms felt like dead weight, like lead.

Joe stood straight and backed up a few steps and nonchalantly said, "Liquid Gastric Lavage and Propofol," he paused. "We're cleaning you out, and if you keep running your mouth like that I'll put you to sleep properly and shove in a catheter."

Kai closed his mouth tight, forming a taut thin line as he glared at the man.

"You're off for the week. Paid leave." Joe paused again. "I'll take over your surgeries and appointments. You understand? If I see you at my office or home, and it's not a friendly visit, I'll have a few choice words and a bed ready for you."

Kai nodded, there was no sense in arguing with the old man. "Fine." He bit, sucking in as much air as he could through his mouth and filling his burning lungs. "But is threatening my termination really necessary?"

Joe shrugged and nodded. "With your stubborn ass, yes." Kai groaned at that. Joe Kimora was certainly something else.

"Want Junior in here?" Joe asked, pointing with his thumb at the door. He watched as Kai glared. That wasn't his name. "Sorry, Gou."

"No," he answered quickly, "He doesn't need to see this." He turned his head to look his room over. "I need to clean that up," Kai added, eyeing the piles of vomit he had left on his floor.

Joe put his hands on his hips, shifting his weight from one floor to the other. "How about I get that. You lay here and rest. But don't go to sleep."

Kai nodded best he could, he was tired and rightfully so. His body was begging for sleep but he knew he couldn't, shouldn't. "Cleaners down in the laundry room."

"Right." He went toward the door and after unlocking it, turned back to Kai and said playfully, "Why do I care so much for such a pain in my ass?"

"Like you're not a pain in mine." Kai said playfully, watching him go with a friendlier smirk.

"I'll be back in a bit."

Kai nodded and sighed, resting back against his bed more and dragged a tingling hand down his sweaty face. Letting the quiet finally seep in around him, Kai eased into his messy bedding. He willed his mind to think of anything and everything that he knew would jar him enough to stay coherent. He was desperately fighting the urge to let his eyes slip closed.

Subconsciously, Kai's mind went back to that night, replaying the events seamlessly.

"MONICA!"

"Yes, baby?"

Kai stormed the rest of the way up the stairs, each step becoming louder and more intense, and all because his anger was increasing. Anger was only the start of how he felt. Honestly, all he wanted to do was kill this bitch, but even then that wouldn't be enough for him. Oh no, for what she's been doing, she deserved all manner of Hell and its sufferings. He was going to send her there, one way or another. Her life was his hands and it wouldn't end well. Absolutely no one touched his boy!

Kai roughly kicked open the bedroom door, his bedroom door to be precise. Not caring for the noisy results or the damage he caused to the hinges. For fuck's sake what the hell was she doing in here in the first place?! She had her own room, also known as the attic.

He dashed over and roughly picked her up from her corner on the floor. He didn't care how he handled her. At this point, she was a monster in his eyes, not even nearing human. Holding Monica tightly by her bony wrist, he watched numbly as she fearfully tried to get out of his grip. While struggling, she shouted, "Let me go-"

In the frightening silence, there was a small clicking noise, like something was being pulled back. The noise happened two more times. As it sounded, Monica looked around, then it sunk in. She reluctantly looked down and shakily eyed a strong hand on the grip of a black pistol. That meant... oh god!

Her lavender eyes widened with a chilling realization. The barrel of his custom made handgun was in her mouth! And the clicks she heard were the pullback of the hammer! This couldn't be real, couldn't be happening. No no no! Please God no!

"Aww, what's the matter, Monica?" Kai asked, feigning pity. "Are you scared?" Her eyes flickered, welling up with big tears. With a few muffled, throaty whimpers, she nodded. "Good!"

Kai jerked the gun out, Monica gagging painfully. He knew full well he'd hurt her but cared not. He ruthlessly thwacked her upside the head with the weapon and when she was weeping on all-fours, he pressed it firmly to the temple of her head.

"It's so easy right now. Killing you. One, little, spasm and you're lights are out. Your nasty candle spent."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Why are you doing this to me? I haven't done anything!" Hearing that, though it was through her sobs, made his blood boil further.

"You're really gonna pull this shit, huh? When I can smell it on you! Cunt I can blow your brains out without batting an eye and you're going to lay there and lie to me! Fuck you!"

The pistol shook in his trembling hold, any tighter and he feared he'd break it. He came down, hitting her with the metal again. Monica's forehead slammed against the floor, a gash opening as her world spun.

She felt a harsh grip on the back of her shirt and found herself being heatedly thrown out into the hall, nearly missing the stairs.

 _Fuck!_ Kai thought. He'd missed by an inch. With a deep, primal growl, he charged toward her.

"Get the fuck out of my house!"

He chased her out into the waiting arms of the cops who literally shoved her into a squad car once her cuffs were on.

"Monica!" Kai hollered. She didn't look at him but he knew she was listening because of her rigid frame. "The Grim Reaper has a scythe with your name on it. Remember that!" With that Kai turned on his heel and made his way back toward his house. His mind now switching gears again to the child inside.

 **To Be Continued...**


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: The Cinderella Effect**

Come the afternoon, around three o'clock, Kai had woken from an induced nap to find Joe carefully removing the needles. Wincing slightly at the tingling and tearing pinches, he let a small hiss pass through his clenched teeth.

"That hurts more coming out," Kai gasped, knowing his teacher knew he was awake.

"I know it does, I promise I'm trying to be careful," Joe added, trying to both comfort him and apologize.

After another rub of numbing gel and a huge band-aid, Kai was a free man and Joe left without another word.

While sitting up, shifting his weight from one hand to the other, Kai thought about it and realized Joe was having a hard time getting in and out of his bedroom. He seemed to be squeezing through all the while carefully stepping over something.

Kai threw his legs over the side and pushed himself up with the balls of his feet. He walked toward the door and opened it, only to feel something hard on the other side of it.

Peeking through the small gap, Kai smirked to himself, of course. Gou was outside in the hallway curled up in a bundle and sleeping wrapped like a burrito in a pile of blankets. He'd most likely been there for some time, hours probably.

With a tender hand Kai shook his child awake and after a few rustles, Gou turned to him. Semi-watery wine met alert crimson.

"Afternoon," Kai started.

Gou sprung to life and before Kai knew it, he was being hugged... and rather tightly too.

"Ow, not too hard," Kai said with a chuckle, feeling some intense pressure on his entire midsection. He hugged him back. "I'll be fine. Dr. Joe got it all out of me."

"I know." That tearful response was all Gou could give. Thank goodness he wouldn't be left here alone.

Gou pulled away with a sniffle, quickly moved his head to the side, and let out a loud sneeze. His hands covered his mouth and nose, catching the bodily gunk.

Kai smiled, doing his best to hold back the laugh. "What a way to end the moment."

"Sorry," Gou said, hands still cupped over his mouth.

Kai went over to his bedside table and grabbed his box of tissues. Gou took them and blew. Kai watched him, kind of lost in his mind. Thrown back in time a bit. He knew someone else who used to do that too.

"Dad... Dad?" Kai blinked at hearing his voice.

"What- I- did you say something?"

"I- you were staring off. Maybe you should go back to bed."

Kai shook his head. "It wasn't major surgery. I'll be fine by tomorrow."

"That's tomorrow. Rest today. Please?"

"What did you say? I didn't hear." Gou didn't say meaningless things, that's why he backtracked. What he didn't hear must've been important.

"I said... I'm going to start cleaning. You need to rest."

Kai made a face at that, arching a brow. "Cleaning? This house is spotless. You've done fine, the railing and your room look great. And everything else does too. I hate to say it at all but she kept the house decently clean. That reminds me, which one of you did the baseboards? Was that painted or-?"

"Dad, your rambling... now if you don't mind I need to get started. Sunset will be here before we know it and I'm already hours behind schedule."

Schedule? That was an odd thing to call just wiping down his room and dusting the railings.

Gou turned toward the door and left, turning toward the stairs. As he went down, he heard his father head out after him, clearly not done with the conversation, so he quickened his pace.

Rounding the railing into the living room, Gou made a b-line for the front door. Once he was past the threshold he could shut the door and get to it. But mid-way there, a hand took firm hold of his forearm, stopping and keeping him stationed.

"What's gotten into you?" Gou said nothing but he did stiffen, so Kai knew he had his attention on him, if nothing else. Gou didn't say anything.

"Ok, don't answer that then," Kai said with a sigh. Against his authoritative instinct of demanding an answer, he decided to take the long way round. He learned with kids that was better. "Answer me this, why do you feel you need to clean?" Kai waited, letting the tension build.

"I'll be punished if I don't."

"Punished?" That made his heart sink, the grip on his son's arm momentarily loosening. Gou seemed to be in his own world, lost, he was spacing out again.

"But how that goes is up to me. I'm behind, will I be rewarded or punished this time?" Gou rambled off.

"Gou?" Kai said worriedly as he slightly shook him. He went around and stood in front of him. He looked to see their boy with lifeless eyes that looked like they were staring through him and out to nowhere. Kai snapped his fingers and soon found Gou looking at him again.

"There you are," he said, relief washing over him. Gou blinked at his father for a moment before he frowned a little. "If you keep distracting me, I won't get it all done!" He grumbled as he tried to walk around him.

Kai's grip tightened and he pulled Gou back in front of him. "It's not your job to do that. It's an adult's job. Now my job. Why don't you go play, or find a nice a girl to flirt with? Go be lazy. Enjoy yourself." He paused. "It's not your place to run a house."

Gou tensed at that comment for multiple reasons. "Don't be weird..." he scolded, "and besides, it's always been my job."

"What do you mean it's always been your job?" Kai was still stuck on the 'punishment and reward' thing Gou had mentioned but he figured that'd reveal itself in due time. His hold relaxed a bit but not enough for him to slip away.

Gou's shoulders hunched up despite the softer grip. "It's my job, OK!? Just...let me do it before you make things worse!" He snapped.

Make things worse? Remembering his son's back and all the other dings that went with it, Kai felt sick. "Jesus Christ," he paused. "Gou tell me she didn't try to rape you more than once? Did she hurt you more? Did you do all this by yourself?"

Gou panicked, trying to wriggle out his hold. "I don't want to talk about it..." he whined as his eyes welled up.

Kai went down and pulled him in for a hug, being careful like last time. "It's okay to be a normal teenager now. You can go do what you want, you're not shackled to her anymore. You won't be punished for not doing something that wasn't even your job in the first place. Your job is to have fun and be happy and healthy. I'll say it again... You don't run a home. Nor do you need to satisfy anyone." It took all the had not to cry out another apology. "I knew things were bad. But- oh my god."

Gou pushed himself into the warm embrace and slowly gripped his sides. "It's OK..." he replied automatically.

Kai held him briefly and after a bit stood back up. "She's not here, and she won't be back."

Gou looked at the floor. He knew it, but deep down it felt like she was still here and wouldn't leave him alone. "You told me to always obey authority, so I... had to do as she said."

Kai thought it over. This was definitely worse than he could ever have imagined. What to do next? "I need you to go sit on the couch," he finally said.

"Why?" Gou asked as he tilted his head.

"We, need to talk." There was a pause. "Time we get _this_ strengthened out." Kai said as he lifted a finger and gently poked his forehead. "I'll be right back."

Gou blinked again at the poke to his head and watched him go before he obeyed.

Shuffling his way to their couch, he sat and waited as he was told, tapping the pads of his thumbs together as he did so.

Kai came back in a moment later heaving a box on his hip with one arm. "If I'm to be honest I never planned on showing you any of this."

Gou's brow lifted as his eyes went to it. "What is it?"

"Some old things..." Kai kept his eyes on Gou. He was stalling, he knew he was but he couldn't help it.

He looked over at him, his dad was fazing out again. Whatever was in that box must be sentimental. "Dad?"

After a bit Kai cleared his throat. He blinked a bit, Gou was truly their pride and joy. His mind raced, thinking of all the wonderful ways things could've been had Mistress Fate not been so keen on giving him a hard hand.

"Have you ever heard of The Cinderella Effect?" Kai started, not entirely sure about where he was going with this.

"No, what are you getting at, and what's in the box?"

"The Cinderella Effect is more or less what it sounds like. A parent, usually the step-parent, will dote upon their own offspring but neglect their partner's kid. They won't touch what isn't theirs. They will do anything to hurt them or make the child's life difficult. I believe, in her own way, that's what she did to you. Its a form of child abuse that typically applies to step-children. The only difference in your case vs others, is that you are no one's stepchild."

"Get to the point. And no offense, but I don't want to hear whether you and that bitch had other kids. Fuck whatever sibling I may or may not have. You're married to a pedophile."

Kai scowled, was this kid even listening? The answer, hell no. "Do you hear yourself? What kind of illusion are you living under? Open your ears, will ya? Listen! And quit talking to me like that!" Deep down Kai was bouncing around the issue because it was so painful. Looking at all this was like reliving the trauma all over again.

It's true, he wasn't listening and didn't care to. Gou's only focus was on the box.

"Gou," Kai started with a deep breath. "If I cry I'm sorry. This isn't easy to talk about."

Gou shifted, telling himself he needed to get more comfortable but really it was because he was irritated and somewhat nervous. "Ok."

"Monica, or the bitch as you like to call her, isn't married to me. She's hired help. A live-in nanny."

Gou's face morphed into disbelief and his eyes felt like they were as big as serving platters. "What?!"

Kai looked down, as a sniffle emerged. "Uh..." He took a hand and ran it through his long bangs as he raised his head. "This box, your mom- she, uh, um..."

Gou looked on in shock. Never in his life had he seen his dad like this. The strong man he admired was shattering before his eyes.

Kai wiped his eyes and carried the box over to the coffee table, sitting it between the two.

"You ready?" Kai asked, though it seemed he was asking himself that more than his company. He eyed the boy while his trembling hands rested on the flaps of the box. His heart felt heavy. Great Scott this hurt.

Kai's brows rose at hearing nothing. "What, you not interested anymore? A bit ago that's all you cared about."

"Not really," Gou said, looking down at his fiddling thumbs.

"Why?" He heard his dad say.

Gou looked around, eyes flaring. "Oh I don't know, the fact that everything I thought to be true is a lie, and I'm just supposed to accept it!"

Questions arose all at once, jumbling themselves in an emotional heap. What happened to his mom? Why did his dad never talk about her before now? Did he blame him for her death? What else was his old man hiding from him?

Forgetting the box, Gou looked ahead. His dad didn't seem too fazed by the way he was reacting to this but in his eyes he could tell it still caught him off-guard.

"What? You think I'd all the sudden be happy to know all this? No, I'm royally pissed! I'm sure your intentions were good, and you thought it'd help, but you couldn't be more wrong. It's just made me question everything!"

Deciding to let Gou have at it when he wanted, Kai went to leave the room. Gou, seeing this, bolted to his feet and charged after him.

At the backdoor, Gou wrapped both of his arms around his dad's left one. Gou had twig arms compared to his dad but that didn't stop him from trying to hold him in place.

Kai turned to face him as Gou screamed, "Where are you going, I'm not done here!"

"Well, I am," Kai said. "Unless you've decided you wanna listen."

He lifted his arm effortlessly out of Gou's hold. This kid needed to eat more. Their son needed a lot of things it seemed. God, he was such a rotten father.

"Forget it, I'm going out!" Gou yelled. He went out the back way and hopped the fence to the front yard. He needed some air... and his confidant.

 **Thank you PreciousRoy for RPing with me, and Luxahheart thank you for all your help on this. Helping me keep this straight wasn't easy to do I'm sure. I hope this all makes sense and more will be explained in the next chapter. :)**

 **I hope you all liked this. ^^**


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: Makoto Granger**

"So..." he paused, his lightly tanned face scrunching up and a single brow raised. "Run all that by me again."

Gou looked at his midnight eyed friend and let out a long, tired sigh. He'd only been over here thirty minutes and already he wanted to borrow the punching bag in the garage. Leave it to _him_ to be confused. What was confusing about this? Oh yeah, everything.

"Were you listening at all?" Gou finally said, a vein popping on his head.

"Partially," his friend playfully said, leaning back onto the stained beige carpet of his bedroom floor, pressing into it with his open hands.

"Makoto!"

"Ah come on, dude, ease up, I'm kidding. This is crazy stuff to take in. Just run it by me again, I promise I'll catch it all."

"Ok," Gou said with an eye roll. He looked forward and took sight of the Biology notebook on Makoto's small bed below his still open window.

Makoto looked at his bed and then at Gou again. "Yes?"

"Can I, borrow your notebook? Just a page?"

"Yeah, yeah sure. Use whatever you want." Makoto got up and grabbed it for him, plucking a pen from his nearby backpack too. He handed his frazzled mate the stuff and watched him open it to a clear page. Gou began to make a list, the blue cap in his lips.

"Column A is what you believed to be true, and column B is what's reality. Right?" Makoto said, taking a seat next to him on the floor. Gou nodded, confirming his assumption.

"Guess I'll start with column A," Gou said, the pen making it sound like his mouth was full. The hole in the cap gave his S's a slight whistle. Gou put the pen to the paper, but couldn't bring himself to write. "Doing this will... Confirm it, do I want to?" He said to himself.

"Maybe, but that's what you need. You confirm it, you can move forward and anything that comes after this will be easier to handle." Makoto said, putting an encouraging hand on his shoulder.

"Hn, I guess." Gou tapped the tip against the paper, small dots forming where the first letter of the first word was supposed to go. His mind was blank. What to put down?

Makoto could tell this was really eating at him mentally and emotionally. He couldn't imagine, going through something like this would surely screw him up. At pondering what to do next, an idea hit him. He smirked aa he thought it through, this could work.

"Hey, Gou?"

"... Yeah?" He said after a bit, having only just realized that he'd been spoken to.

"Let's play a game," Makoto said joyously, his long and low, navy blue pony tail falling limply over the right shoulder of his skinny-stick frame. He was doing his best, trying to lighten the atmosphere by being the opposite of his down ally.

"What kind of game?" Gou said after a minute or two. Once again, his brain only now registering that the other boy had spoken to him.

"We're going to organize this mess. Think of it this way, its like 20 Questions, but for every answer you _say_ you have to write it down too, in the category it goes under. Do this and I'll give you all my leftover Halloween candy."

Gou looked at him. "You mean all the nasty stuff you won't eat?" He snorted, knowing he was right.

"No! Well yes, but.. Shut up and listen!"

Gou couldn't help but snort out a laugh at that. Makoto was too easy to pick on. "Ok, sure. Whenever you're ready."

Kai sat hunched over at the dining room table, his head in his hands. The pendulum of the grandfather clock behind him swung in sync with every movement of its hands. He gripped his hair tighter, his boney hold trembling in the ever-lightening slate and black strands. Did he make a mistake in not telling him anything until now? No, there was no question he did. Gou's reaction proved it.

"Hello, you rang?" Came Dr. Joe's voice from the front of the house.

Kai reluctantly raised his head. He wasn't sure why he'd called Joe after Gou left, because the last thing he wanted was company, but something in him needed an ear. He never thought in a million years he'd directly seek out someone to lean on but the older he got the more he found himself leaning on people, one man in particular really.

"In here," Kai said. He watched as Joe came into view, his bloody apron and work clothes still on. Fluid splattered tools poked out from the front pockets handle-first and his bag seemed soaked.

"I apologize for the interruption. I, need a man-to-man chat."

"What for?" Joe's brows furrowed, it wasn't like his student to call for help. If anything he had to push his way in.

"I think... I may have made a mistake."

"Does it involve that old box in there?" Joe said, pointing with his thumb toward the living room. Kai nodded.

Joe looked closely and saw how red and puffy Kai's eyes were. There were hard rub marks all along the lids, painting perfect circles. From those circles flowed rough streaks that stopped at varying points. Going from the apples of his cheeks down to his jawline. Some appeared tacky, while others were still wet.

"How long have you been like this?"

Kai shrugged. "I don't know, an hour? Forty-five minutes? Why ask, I'm not keeping track."

"What happened? In detail."

Kai could hear the anger bubbling in Joe's tone. He had clearly put the pieces together and wasn't pleased with what he'd figured out.

"He made this huge deal about cleaning the house. Said that if he didn't he'd be punished. That of course threw me for a loop. I told him it was okay to be a normal teenager now. He wasn't tied to her anymore. He seemed so, at odds with himself over every little thing that I didn't know what else to do. I'd planned on him finding out at some point, but that was when I was gone and-"

"What did I say when she passed?" Joe shouted. "If you wait too long, he'll grow to resent you. He'll be angry and lash out! And what did he do?!"

"I was trying to clear the air for him-"

"Clear the air? Ha, you made it even foggier!" Joe paused, letting his anger simmer down. "What else happened?"

"I found out she's raped him more than once and that the house had been put on him alone. She beat him and..." Tears flowed again and Joe had to lean in to make out what Kai was saying through his hands. "And, when she hurt him it was either painful or normal. At least I think that's what he meant."

"What are you getting at?"

Kai lifted his head and grabbed a few napkins. "He said something about reward and punishment. The only thing I can think of for the 'reward' part of it was when she hurt him it wasn't as terrible. If he fucked up- God."

"That would explain a lot about the scar tissue growth around his front and the bodily injuries." Joe said, trying to keep all Kai was saying straight in his head.

"Its disgusting-"

"And you tried to make up for it by showing him his life wasn't the way he thought it was? That Monica wasn't his mother?" Kai slowly nodded at Joe's enquiries. "You've made it worse, Kai. I hope you see that."

"I do..." He looked away, at the floor, shame filling him completely. "Regrettably."

"I won't stand here and say you're right. You're _wrong_. In trying to _help_ , you've caused him immense mental strain. I know it hurts _you_ to revisit it, but think about it from his point of view. Pretty messed up all around, don't you think?"

"But what do I do? How can I-?"

"Quit trying to make up for it! What's happened can't be undone. Move forward a day at a time and let Gou discover the rest on his own _._ If he wants to know anything, he'll come ask."

Gou stared at all he'd written on the once pristine notebook paper. The paper was crinkled and splotched grey droplets in many places, the ink running into other areas. Having listed off his answers to Makoto who had his hands around him.

"Ok..." Makoto said, taking all he'd heard in. His head was full to bursting, spinning. He needed to hear it again. Gou's reality vs what was screaming at him in the back of his mind.

"I'm gonna ask you some questions. Simple ones and I want you read all you wrote to me, again. We need to affirm this happened to your mind. Show it that you're not dreaming any of this. Tell me the good, the bad, and the indifferent times. Got it?"

"Sure. You read too much psychology."

"Yeah well now its helpful, ain't it?" Makoto grinned smugly at him, knowing he was right.

"Is Monica your mom?" Makoto started.

Gou's breath caught in his throat. He hated hearing her name, it made memories flood in and he wanted to shut down.

"N-no. According to dad she's what's called a live-in Nanny. She was supposed to take care of me, keep me well and do the chores. But she made me her damned Cinderella."

Gou scratched through the first sentence on the left side of the page. This wasn't real, she wasn't his mom. His _real mother_ was... Dead?

Makoto nodded some. "And your dad has never loved her, right?" He continued to press, working their way through one obstacle at a time.

"No, I don't think so."

Gou marked again through another thing in Column A. He didn't love her, no, he didn't and she never loved them. The woman called Monica just used them, hurt both of them in one way or another.

"Okay then, what about your dad? He wasn't around because he worked, right?"

"Uh..." Gou read over the columns again. "Yes. Says he's a full time doctor. He's not a businessman. That the suit was a coverup so he could blend in." He shrugged. "At least that's what I gather. Blending in with what I'm not sure. As for him being gone a lot, it's... confusing. Sometimes he was, sometimes he wasn't. I learned recently that when he was home, she would poison him and the affects of what she used knocked him out. I guess she put it in what he consumed considering he had to have the stuff sucked out of his stomach and was vomiting." He shuttered at the memories, that was disturbing.

"But he survived, and he's not going anywhere. Not for a long time." Makoto put a hand on Gou's back, letting him know he wasn't going anywhere either.

Gou looked away. His heart was pounding. "I know. Thank you." He peered back at him, his long, rainy day grey bangs obscuring parts of his surroundings. "Thank you, for not, leaving me alone."

Makoto arched a brow, a little dumbstruck. it wasn't like Gou to show a lot of emotion. Maybe it was the meds? Gou's nerves were frayed to hell and currently he was on slow-release, pain medicines so maybe he was acting out of character because of them.

"Anytime."

Makoto cracked a grin, trying hard to keep the air light around them. Even with such a serious topic, things needed to stay airy. If not, they'd both break under the pressures and that might lead to something neither yearned for.

"Why did she abuse you?"

"She said she was lonely. That since dad was gone I, had to keep her company. Anytime I pulled away, told her no, she pulled the disappointment card. Said I owed it to her because she brought me into this world and... _I wouldn't want to disappoint her would I_."

Makoto moved closer, his mind racing with unpleasant images. He'd kill anyone who tried to harm him like that but it appeared she knew what strings to pull when it came to controlling Gou. No wonder Gou quit speaking his mind after awhile. From his point of view, it didn't do any good, why bother?

"She's not your mom. She just stole the name to hook you in, make you believe it so you wouldn't argue with her. She used that title for horrible things, you know that. Any woman worth that title doesn't do what she did, and you're not a disappointment to anyone. Especially not to your dad and me." His confident gaze never shifted, hoping to keep the boy's ears on him. "That's why, even when you wanted to give up, something in you fought back and made you fall down those stairs. You survived. You won, not her."

Finally looking at his friend, a question popped into Gou's head. Figuring he wouldn't get another opportunity, for one reason or another, he decided to go for it.

"Makoto?"

"Gou?" Makoto grinned, not even sure what he was expecting out of his friends mouth next. His gut swirling with anticipation.

"Would-?"

There was a crash and then a rattling slam from downstairs. His head snapped into the direction of the noises which were just below them and to the left. Someone had just come in. He looked back at his confidant to see his face turn pale and his palms go sweaty. That settled it, Mr. Granger was home and judging from the noises, he'd just come back from work... and the bar. Shit!

Forget this list. He took Makoto's hand and with a tight grip pulled him to the window he'd climbed through a bit ago.

"Come with me." He told him, mirroring a commanding officer.

Makoto dug his heels in his carpet, "I... It's not a good idea, you should just go without me. I'll be fine." His voice wavered, hoping to push Gou out the window before his father walked up. Like always, that smile never left his face. It made this situation all the more painful when you really sat back and thought about it.

"No way." Gou hated leaving him here, it never ended well. He felt helpless again and was sure the other teen felt just as he did many times, hopeless and wanting no one he cared for to see him like that.

"Come on, dad can help. He's home for a week and he'll keep you safe. _I'll_ keep you safe." Gou pulled him closer to the window after he hopped onto the sill. He let himself fall back, taking his neighbor kid with him.

"Gou!" Was all Makoto could get out in a word of protest before his feet went weightless.

With a laugh, shouted kid went back up and pulled the blinds down so the possibly strung out drunkard couldn't tell that the window was open. Then he jumped down again, wearing a huge grin.

"Yes?"

Without giving him time to answer, Gou pulled him across the street, listening to him ramble on about how he needed to get back and how this was kidnapping.

"You're going to get in trouble, it's not safe for you!" Makoto yanked his arm away from him, standing firm. "I can't let you get hurt because of me."

"Tough, stud muffin. I got involved the day we met." He saw Makoto's face heat up and smirked, he'd seemed to have distracted him, success. He took his wrist again and hurriedly took him to his place, trotting up the porch and opening the doors. He wouldn't let him fall anymore, he was going to be there to catch him. If he couldn't be alone anymore, Makoto wouldn't be either. He'd be his soldier.

In the doorway Makoto seemed to freeze on the spot. "Gou!" He whined again, trying to shake himself free. This wasn't good, did Gou not understand he was trying to protect him?!

"Makoto!" He yanked him inside, at least past the wooden door. There was still the glass one to go.

"You've kept me away long enough. I'm getting you out. Like you've wanted to do for me." He added, his stern voice on low. In his eyes he was begging, pleading for him to give in. He couldn't let him die at their hands. No.

"But I don't even have a change of clothes, and what about your dad?! He's going to be pissed."

"Its mostly resting bitch face, you'll be fine." A laugh bubbled in his throat, he knew what Makoto was saying and it concerned him too but right now that didn't matter. What mattered was his buddy's safety.

"Pfft." Makoto couldn't keep that one in, his feet moving on his own. His body was telling him to follow. It was his anxiety-riddled brain that was trying to pull him back.

Gou pulled him the rest of the way in, his hold relaxing the closer they got.

Their eyes locked on the close of the second door. There was a heat between them, at least Gou thought so.

"St-stay here." He squeaked out, his voice still clearly in the puberty category.

"'Kay..." Makoto hushed back, watching him go. he looked over his shoulder at the doors behind him. He could easily slip out and leave, get a head start just to keep them safe but his feet felt glued to the floor and he didn't budge an inch.

"Dad!" Gou said as he found them in the dinning room, seeing Dr. Joe there too. This couldn't get any better, awesome. Makoto could get a check up too.

"Makoto's here." He watched as the two men exchanged glances and then rushed to the door, taking note of the panic on the kid's face. Gou followed, wanting to stay at his best friend's side.

Makoto's body tensed at the sound of heavy, feet stampeding their way towards him. Oh god they were coming to kick him out, tell him to beat it. He shouldn't have let Gou drag him here! He should have known better than this.

Kai ran into view, hearing the blaring radio a bit ago told him that Tyson was home. But he never imagined Gou would bring his son here.

"Everything okay?" He started, hearing Joe and then his boy step up beside them, Gou choosing to stand by the younger Granger.

Makoto stiffly nodded, not liking all the eyes on him.

Shrinking in on himself some, all he could see was that this was a mistake. His brain kept yelling at him to just turn and high tail it back home. Surely he'd be able to crawl back into his window without being heard?

"No you're not! His dad was gonna beat him! Both of his parents beat him. They drink, they snort up too!"

Kai raised a hand, cutting Gou off, and he pointed to the stairs.

"You can't be serious?!" He yelled to his dad.

"I am, head upstairs. We need to talk with him, only him." The older man locked his gaze on the blue eyed boy again, affirmation in his eyes. "You're gonna be fine."

Kai glanced at Gou again, a fiery glint present. "Upstairs."

Gou stormed off and headed up, not happy about this.

An hour went by before there was a set of soft knocks at Gou's bedroom door. It opened to reveal Dr. Joe.

"May I come in?" He asked him.

Gou sat on his bed, back against his pillows, and arms over his knees. "Do I have a choice?"

"You do." Joe said, taking a step in, leaving the door open.

Gou scoffed at that. Politeness was a societal rule he was forced to follow. He wanted Makoto to show up, not this old geezer. "Not really."

"I heard that." Joe gave him a smile. This kid was so much like his father it wasn't funny.

"So what!" Gou snapped, sparing him a glance and not caring if his words hurt him.

"Are you worried about Makoto? Is that why you're being difficult?"

"I'm being _difficult_ because you're being an intrusive pain."

"Am I? You don't want company?"

"Yes and no."

"So I need to leave then?"

"Yes."

"I will, but uh, one more thing?"

Gou turned away, unless it was about Makoto he didn't care. There was a slight bounce when Dr. Joe sat on the bed. He could feel his eyes on him as he focused on the wall, doing his best to control his emotions. He was a soldier, someone's rock, he wasn't allowed to show any weakness. He had to be strong.

"How are you feeling?"

"Does it matter?" For some reason, that question struck a cord with him. He looked at him, silently wishing he could send his visitor somewhere else, like Siberia.

"Of course it does." Joe kept his bright smile, hoping it would ease the kid. "I know you're worried about your friend. In your shoes I would be too but you can't forget you. How much you are hurting."

"I'm fine!" He shouted, at his wits end. How hard was it to convey that he wanted to be alone?

"You're not and you know you're not. I know what you're trying to do. You're shoving down your own pain to hold someone else up because they need you right now. Am I wrong?"

The teenager's silence spoke volumes. He didn't need an answer.

"Please, take time for you."

"How can I? I have a ton to do, to worry about. This house for one. It won't clean itself. Once dad is back to leaving it'll be all on me again. So what's the point in stopping?"

Joe was taken aback by that. This kid was damaged, maybe even beyond repair. One minute he was acting his age, especially emotionally, and the next he was spouting like an adult? He thought back to the conversation he and Kai had and it clicked. All that Monica had done, the reward and punishment mentality, the constant fear of not getting it done. She controlled him, like a puppet. She really did make him her Cinderella. This kid was still tied to his abuser's apron strings, despite her no longer being present. He was still wrapped around her manipulative little finger. She truly was a monster.

"You're not under her anymore. She can't hurt you, she's not here."

Hot tears stung at the corners of his eyes. He knew that. Gou knew it was true but his mind kept screaming otherwise.

"Then why does she still haunt me?"

"I'm not sure. I wish I knew. I've never been through something like that, I just know from the outside what to do and how people behave to an extent. I'm not a psychologist. I'm sorry."

Gou tore his hardening gaze away. "Then what is the point of you?"

He heard nothing after that. Nothing except defeated footsteps and his door closing. Heavy tears streamed down his face, falling hard onto his hands and the adjacent clothing.

Her voice ran on repeat, replaying the pattern he'd come to know by heart.

 _You don't want to disappoint your mommy do you?_

 _Get started... Your father will be home soon. Do you really want to disappoint him too? You've already been punished once today, want another one?_

 _Such a good boy, come to mommy._

 _Mommy loves you. Yes she does._

 _Hey, sweetie._

 _No one will ever understand what we have. They'll say its wrong, immoral, so you can't tell anyone. Understand? Not a soul. Not even your daddy. Okay?_

Downstairs, Makoto sat atop the dining room table with Kai in front of him. His shirt and pants had been removed, leaving him in his decorated dragon boxers. He felt exposed and was freezing. Had this family not ever heard of central heating and air?

"All done, off ya go." Kai said, through with wrapping the bandages that covered his minor abrasions and bruising. Like Gou, he kept things hidden and liked things to be covered up.

"Thank you, uncle." Makoto said, hopping down from the table. Their families weren't related by any means whatsoever but he'd learned from an early age to call the older Hiwatari that. While drunk one day his father dreamily muttered something about the two men being close friends in high school, or something along those lines.

"Can I go see Gou?" He asked, looking back at the _doctor_ , who was currently signing some paperwork he was told he'd have to go over later. That could wait. For now, Gou needed him.

"Sure, he's in his room."

Without a moment to waste, the Japanese boy sprinted off and up, praying his buddy was doing okay.

 **I had some help from LuxahHeart on this one She RPed the scene between Makoto and Gou with me and it was a lot of fun to do. As always, she did fabulous ^^ I hope you all enjoy and let me know your thoughts All types of reviews are welcome too, if you have anything to say, have at it I'll update again as soon as I can! Much love to you all! :)**


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: The Other Son**

"Woohoo, warmth!" Makoto yelled joyfully as he opened Gou's door and hyperly ran to his bed. He hopped onto it with a bound, and went under his friend's thick covers.

Gou watched all this happen in shock and amusement. This guy was something else. He always knew how to make him laugh.

"Well hello to you too." He said with a chest rattling roar.

"It's c-c-cold in here!" Makoto shouted from beneath the blanket, his voice muffled, relishing in the encompassing warmth.

"Yes, it is." Gou affirmed, his smile wide and his eyes bright.

"The central heating is messed up... Did dad not give you your clothes back?" Gou asked as he looked to his left.

Makoto popped up, looking at him in an over-the-top type of disbelief, "I was supposed to get them back?"

For a moment Gou thought he was serious but then he grinned, letting himself fall back onto the bed and howl while holding his gut.

"Aren't I a nut?" Makoto said with a dopey grin, joining the other boy in their usual field of happy.

Makoto sat up, giving Gou a sneaky smirk, "I know a way to warm up."

"And in what way is that?" Gou asked, his smile falling.

Makoto noticed how tense Gou was. Tense for Gou meant one thing, he was in a lot of pain. Guilt washed over his insides. He may have caused this bout, but he could make it better.

Makoto confidently removed his hat, his navy blue mid-back length hair coming down with it. From atop his head he removed a small, two shot bottle of peach Brandy.

"This. It's good stuff. You want some? It'll help you too, forget all your troubles."

"You stole it from your dad's stash?"

Makoto took that as a no and said, "He says it makes him feel better, and it does me too."

Gou put his hand over the lip of the bottle lowering it from his friend's open mouth. He never knew Makoto drank but, considering the influencers, it made sense.

"Please don't?" He understood, more than anyone he could understand, but it still didn't stop the hurt and fear of the unknown from bubbling into his eyes.

Makoto tore himself away and knocked the bottle back, swallowing it with a disgusted face followed by a hack prompted by the familiar tingly burn in his throat. Now he could let go of the world, fall into himself for awhile. The fire rose, making his insides feel warm, relaxed. This was what he needed.

"... Makoto?" Gou anxiously let out, squeezing the edges of the hat he now held in his clammy fingertips.

Makoto had been bullied and called a girl for his long hair, but he liked it and normally just brushed the bullets off. He refused to cut it despite the on-slot and dress code their school enforced, so he bunched it up in his father's old red, white, and blue baseball cap. Still, it didn't stop.

* * *

Kai went over to the closet where the blankets were kept and pulled out a few, Makoto's clothes still on the table nearby. He cherished that boy but just like his father at that age, Makoto was a bit forgetful.

He glanced at Joe who seemed to be drowning too in his thoughts, slouched in the recliner over a pile of papers stationed on a clipboard in his other hand.

"What are you doing?" Kai asked, walking by him and up a single step.

"Licensing, what do you want to call your clinic?" Joe signed the dotted line on the last page. He capped the pen, the lid of it in between his teeth, and set it down on the coffee table. The rest would be for Kai.

"Joe-"

"Name, you're opening next week."

Kai stepped back down and scooped up his unrelated nephew's clothes.

Honestly, this man had a one track mind.

"You name it." Kai jokingly said as he bounded back up the stairs and to Gou's room.

* * *

Gou watched in silent horror as the liquor worked its supposed magic.

Makoto swayed from one side to the other, his head swimming. Why did he have to be such a lightweight?

"Are you okay?"

Gou reached out a hand, only to have it smacked away before it could even brush his shoulders.

"Don't touch me." Makoto spat, his tone threatening.

Great, he'd lost him, but for how long? Ignoring the voice that told him to run, Gou reached out again. Makoto was in there somewhere and he was going to recast out his lifeline.

In a split second, Makoto grabbed hold of his wrist causing Gou to flinch at the shooting pains throbbing up his right arm.

"Fuck off!"

Makoto harshly shoved him back, but not before giving his wounded wrist one more good squeeze.

Gou held his wrist in his other hand. Locked onto Makoto's eyes, he found himself unable to move. Just like with Monica, he had him frozen in place. This person, whoever it was, it wasn't Makoto.

"The next time I offer you something, you take it. Got it?"

Gou shakily nodded under the psychotic gaze. He had to do something, this guy was unpredictable.

"Makoto-" Gou whispered out.

"All I wanted was for you to feel better! I'm _so sick_ of seeing that pained, sad look on your face! Don't you wanna quit feeling like a piece of shit for once?!"

Gou inwardly recoiled at the smell of Makoto's breath. "That's, this is not good for you."

"How do you know what's good for me? You can barely keep track of your own head... Mister Goodie-Two-Shoes. Gou Hiwatari, the messed up son of a deadbeat bastard and a potentially deceased bitch!"

Tongue-tied, Gou's mouth went dry while his heart plummeted, shredding into pieces.

"If you really want to save me, sort out your own shit. Leave me be to mine." Makoto wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, spitting all over himself. It was perusal when he was like this.

"What can you really do anyway? All you ever end up doing is making things worse. _You're_ the reason I drink to begin with... You hear me?! They beat me because of _you_!"

Gou's breath vanished, and before his brain could register what was happening, a cord had been clipped. He set the hat aside and got up from his bed.

* * *

Standing outside the door, Kai rose a loose fist and was surprised to see Gou open it. He strode silently off toward the bathroom. His head was low and he looked utterly heartbroken. What the hell was going on up here? Wanting an explanation on why his boy was on the verge of drowning, Kai took a step inside. He'd caught sight of Makoto and wasn't pleased.

"Hey, deadbeat." Makoto spat with a heated glare in his direction, his voice slurred.

"I don't argue with young drunks." Kai stated, making his way in and placing the kid's clothes on the bed beside him.

"So I'm wasting my breath then?"

"Yes."

Kai went up behind him and took out a needle from his pants pocket. He pressed down on the plunger connected to his needle. That motion sent the clear fluids into the side of Makoto's neck.

Makoto hissed at the stinging poke and then felt himself go limp. However, unlike at home, he felt his mind finally fall quiet.

Kai lowered the needle and let Makoto fall onto the bed. Kai covered him up and made him as comfortable as he could. After he plucked up the empty cursed bottle and left the room. He walked down the hall to the bathroom, only to see the door open and Gou cleaning the sink with the nearby soap and a wash cloth.

Deciding not to say a word, yet, Kai left Gou to it and went off to sign the papers Joe had for him.

* * *

That night, as Kai was making dinner, he spotted an unsteady Gou and a wobbly Makoto coming down the stairs and sitting at the dining room table. Carrying the hot pot of saucy meats and other leftovers, he set it on the pot holder in the center of the table.

"Dig in, boys."

The boys grinned from ear-to-ear, the smells of soy sauce coated meats, pastas, and various veggies with rice wafting into their noses.

"Thanks, dad."

"Thanks, uncle."

The moment Kai was about to make his own meal his pager went off. Three beeps, yup, it was an emergency. Just then his phone rang.

"Hiwatari speaking." Kai said, his voice calm.

It seemed as though he didn't have his own life to live. It always revolved around patients and someone else's wellbeing.

Kai hung up his phone and said, "Ok. That was Angus. There's something wrong with his wife Jessica. It's just a follow up to see if a treatment worked, I'll be just up the road if you need me."

Kai gave his son a quick hug and kiss, then dashed toward the door, ruffling Makoto's hair in the process. Just then his phone rung again, "Hello... You're there? Ok." So much for leaving. "Mister Angus has always had that lump on his throat, it's fine. Just a deep mole. Now, his wife Jessica has a growth on her back. It burns if she doesn't use the ointment on it. Is she out?"

Kai waited a bit for his teacher to say something.

"She is?" Kai roiled his eyes at that. "I gave her enough to do for two weeks. It's only been three days. I'll make another batch. You can get it to her tomorrow. Let me reiterate, _thin coats_."

The teens watched as Kai came back in, looking a mix of irate and frazzled.

"Everything okay?" Gou tried, his small bowls empty.

"Yeah, you look pissed." Makoto chimed in, gearing up for his third helping.

Kai looked at Gou and said, "A patient did something I advised against and it made their skin condition worse."

Then he gave a warning glance to his guest, "Quit swearing, you know better."

Makoto shrank at the tone. "Guess I messed up, huh?"

"Mhmm. You did. Most kids can't handle liquor so don't be surprised if you have a bad headache."

The sheepish, apologetic grin went away. Makoto somberly said, "I'll see ya around."

Gou looked at his dad and then at Makoto in fright. "Dad, don't make him go back there. They'll kill him."

Kai briefly put a calming hand on Gou's shoulder and then locked Makoto in place with his eyes. "Who said I wanted you to go. Stay here and get better. Until then, you either sleep on the couch or the floor."

Makoto smiled at that. "Understood, sir. Thank you."

"What's family for?"

Kai smiled at the spitting image of his old friend. As Makoto went back to sit beside his own clone, he pondered something... What was his supposed _friend_ up to? But that was something for tomorrow. Tonight was all about making them feel at home, and piles of paperwork.

* * *

The next day in the afternoon hours, Kai pushed open the abode's one front door, and silently pointed to the stairs. The aroma of ragweed and strong booze hung heavy in the already musty smelling house. He could tell it hadn't been cleaned for some time but for exactly how long he wasn't sure.

Kai watched as Gou, with an arm firmly placed around Makoto's side, helped him up the steps while he gripped for dear life onto the rickety railing. He waited until the door was shut and made his way into the kitchen where he knew his host was.

"Hello, neighbor." Kai started, sarcasm dripping like venom form his teeth.

Kai noticed speckling flecks of white powder scattered like misfired paint about the small, fly filled area. Dirty dishes lined nearly every possible surface, except for where they were at the round kitchen table.

Kai made a face of disgust and disdain, then looked ahead at his host again. There, Tyson Granger sat, stiff as a wooden plank in his chair, the leftover butt of a once lit cigarette in his fingers.

Tyson's heavy head bobbed as he lifted it up. His glassy eyes clocked his neighbor and a wide toothy smile stretched the width of his face.

"Hey, neighbor." He shot back a little too loud.

"Hey, I just dropped by to see if you knew where Tammy was." Kai lied, careful to miss the messes. "You know, your wife of eleven years and mother to your son? And-" He pretended to look around. "Where's Makoto, I haven't seen him either. I'm a little worried."

Tyson blinked, who and who again? He racked his brain for a second, his head bobbing again in thought. "Ah! Tammy ain't here, bitch ran off to _work_ at five. Brat's somewhere, should be in his room."

"Really?" He watched as Tyson nodded. "That's too bad about Tammy but uh, about Makoto." He readied himself for anything Tyson might throw.

"Whatta 'bout em?" Tyson slurred, that stupid wide grin getting smacked off his face. "He gone and did somethin', didn't he?!" He yelled, looking ready to get up but the heaviness he felt in his body prevented him from doing so.

"No, he didn't do anything."

Kai leaned across the table and yanked Tyson to him. He looked him in the eyes and then roughly shoved him back, knocking him out of the chair and onto the floor. "The boy's been at my house because of the mess you and that bitch made of him! He's a _child_ , he made a mistake on a test. That doesn't constitute beatin' him! Especially not to the point that he drinks!"

The glazed eyes turned wide with fear. "The fuck is this?! I ain't done shit! And if I have, it's none of _your_ business! That's _my_ boy there, not yours!" Tyson spat angrily.

"Well he's about to be mine. I'm fightin' and I would love to see you try and stop me."

Kai watched as Tyson became rigid. He wanted to hit him but didn't have the power to.

"Get out of my house! How dare you come in here without my permission!" Tyson yelled, pointing at him. "This is my house, that's my boy. You come in here again, or near my boy I'll call the cops!"

Kai swung and hit, his fist going hard into Tyson's left cheek. Joe wasn't here so he couldn't stop him.

Tyson staggered back, feeling like the world around him was spinning faster than it already was. He grabbed the top of the table, trying to steady himself and glared at the man.

"You wanna play this game the hard way? Fine. Call the cops, just remember... You can't hide something in plain view." Kai took a step back, putting some much needed space between he and his old comrade. "I dare you, go on, but you'll be diggin' your own grave."

Tyson stood there for a minute, thinking it over. Hell, what did he have to lose if he let him have the damn brat? Not like Tammy would care either.

"You want him that badly?! Fine, take his scrawny ass, get him out of my sight and you along with him!" He roared, slamming the palm of his hand down on top of the table.

Kai shrugged nonchalantly, "Ok sure. I just need you to sign something for me." He pulled out some papers from his rear pockets and laid them out on the table. With a tap of his fingers, he said, "Custody papers."

Tyson looked at them, debating again what to do before he held out his free hand. "Give me a damn pen then."

Kai did so and eyed every stroke Tyson made. When he was done, Kai took the papers along with the pen. "Guess what?"

Tyson arched a brow, what more could this jackass want?

"What?" He spat, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Kai sucked on the inside of his cheek, to most it would appear he was nervous but he knew Tyson knew better, he was contemplating how to tell him something.

"Your son isn't only in my home temporarily, you're going to rehab. I'm getting you clean and sober, you pretentious fuck."

Tyson's brows rose to his hairline, "Like hell, there ain't nothin' wrong with me."

"Tyson, you're going. You told me to admit you to the Living Ones facility the moment you couldn't remember who I was. But I think beating your precious baby boy is worse. I'm getting you a new lease and away from Tammy."

Kai went up and grabbed him by the ear, similar to how an angry mom would.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!" Tyson's body leaned back, pulling his ear in Kai's hold as he tried to get away from it and the ringing that was now in it.

"Let go of me, jackass!"

"Not a chance." Kai paused, taking in the angry image and mentally comparing the former to the current.

Kai let him go, his heart sinking at what this soul had morphed into. But like the others had for him, he'd do all he could. "Tyson, I-"

"Look, I signed the damn papers. What more do you want from me?"

"Nothing. I'll send officer Max for you."

* * *

With several plastic grocery bags full of clothes and other necessities, Kai and the boys made their way home, the sirens of Max's police car becoming louder as he rounded the corner onto their street.

"Remember what I said Makoto, couch or the floor."

"I remember, sir."

"What about the attic?" Gou reminded, placing his bags on the floor by the sofa.

"That could work." He looked at Makoto who was making triple-sure he had everything he needed. "But what do you want, is that okay for now?"

"I'm fine with whatever, sir."

Kai nodded, picking up the bags Makoto had already gone through and led the way up to the kid's new room. It was only temporary but it was better than the alternative.

Pulling down on the long chain, a ladder was revealed. At the back of his mind Kai made a note; renovate, turn that forever unfinished office space into a bedroom, or do something along those lines. This tiny house, that seemed bigger on the outside, was no longer just for a family of two. It was expanding into something more.

 **This update was slow but steady. I hope you guys enjoy it! Thank you for being so patient. :) i'd also like to thank LuxahHeart for her help months ago with the RP between Kai and Tyson. I hope this was to your liking and that the story is a wonderful read so far. :3**


	10. Chapter 9

**Authors note:** Wow, this chapter dealt with some very real and heavy issues. This story is about healing, and I mean no ill will.

I do not condone _any_ of the negativity in this tale. If you are, or someone you know is, going through anything like any of this I pray that I've handled this all as respectfully as possible. There are hotlines to reach out to, help centers, friends, family, neighbors, charities... Yes, I know everyone handles things differently, but at the end of the day know that you are loved by so many and so much, including me. You may feel alone in some way or another but you are not alone. Someone is, people are there, just look for their helping hands. That of which can come in many forms. :)

* * *

 **Chapter Nine: Coping Mechanisms / The Call**

The sun rose around 7:00AM the following day, and Makoto was stirred awake, by no one. He sat up and groggily looked around, expecting to be jolted into an adrenaline-fueled, frantic, frenzy by a loud noise from somewhere or someone but he didn't get it. This was, odd, but kind of nice. The silence, for once, was nice.

He stood there, mentally reminding himself that he wasn't at home. This felt like a dream, but what kind of dream would one call this? Surreal, out of the body, a fever dream, Heavenly? The answer to all of those was a big no.

Sitting down on his bed, the one that officer Kenny Manabu had dismantled and brought over while Max handled his father, Makoto wondered whether he was really safe here. The logical side of his brain told him not to question anything, that they were good people and he knew that, but the other side of his mind kept screaming otherwise at him. That his father would come find him or his uncle would get sick of him and kick him out.

Makoto jumped off his bed at the loud thump from below. His pounding heart was doing its best to keep him and his breathing steady but it didn't work. Soon there were heavy footsteps approaching and the trap door was pushed open. Just when Makoto thought he couldn't take anymore, Kai poked his head in.

"Mornin', soldier, get ready."

With the mental rattling of his head, Makoto asked, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Get ready for school then come down and eat."

"Eat?" Eat, eat? Did people do that this early?

"Yes, I believe your bottomless pit of a father has informed you about breakfast. Now come on, it's gonna get cold."

Makoto just stood there for a minute. And Kai, knowing all-too-well what that meant, went the rest of the way up and in.

"Makoto?" Kai said as he stood at a comfortable distance.

"Yes?"

The first thing Makoto noticed about his exceptionally tall uncle were the dark circles around his eyes. Seriously, did this man ever get proper sleep? You'd think he would considering he's one of two doctors, but what did he know?

"Get dressed and come eat."

"Why do I still gotta go to school?" He asked bitterly.

"Because I'm not your father, and I don't have written permission to keep you out of school, but I'm working on it."

Makoto grumbled as he went about getting dressed, coming down from the attic in dirty tennis shoes, wrinkly khaki pants, and a plain yellow teeshirt that looked as if it had been stuffed lazily into a drawer.

"I'm ready." He mumbled as he entered the kitchen, straightening up his hat.

"I'll wash some clothes for you." Kai said, placing a piled-high plate of cheesy grits and scrambled eggs in front of him. Something told him that Makoto fended more for himself then he should've. One thing Joe was right about all those years ago was that as a doctor you never stopped learning.

Makoto's eyes beamed. It was beautiful! This was real, home-cooked food, not pop tarts or packaged sweets. "Thank you."

Gou, who sat across from him, was eating quickly. That was something he never thought the prince of pride would do. Well, so comfortably in front of others anyway.

"Morning."

Gou just gave him a thumbs up and nothing else.

"He's not much of a talker in the morning." Kai informed, tucking into his own plate next to him. He could move effortlessly today, so why did he have the whole week off again?

"I know, but-"

"I'm gonna start cleaning here in a minute, dad."

Kai shot him a stern look, "No, you're not, sit and let your body heal. If I need your help I'll ask for it. Otherwise, just live your life."

Gou just rolled his eyes at that. That was such a dad thing to say, seriously.

Before Makoto knew it, he was out the door and on the bus heading into the city with some Ibuprofen in his system. True to the prediction, he was hungover but according to _Doctor Tough Nuts_ he couldn't miss school.

Within the driver fussing at children to sit down and children yelling at other varyingly aged children Makoto, who sat at the back of the bus among the clouds of marijuana, took out a thermos from the school issued jockstrap and took a good swig from it. There, maybe that'd keep things in check. Mr. Hiwatari, he wasn't very smart, was he? Of all the pockets and personal spaces he checked, the good doctor had failed to check the pack the boys had been handed for their courses on sex-ed.

 _Thank you, my mouthy Gou._ Makoto thought, feeling an unnatural amount of giddy.

By the time he'd arrived at school, the bubbly feeling had worn off, so he took another drink of what most assumed to be water. If he was buzzed or a little bit hazy then maybe things would go smoother than they have been? At least, that's how his brain tried to rationalize his actions and trying-to-be-cool behavior.

Walking amongst the chattering crowd, Makoto soon felt a tight arm yank him from around the shoulder, to his left, and into the brick wall of a chest.

"Hey, guys, looky here, I didn't know they let the fruity faggots out before Friday. Must be Weird Wednesday instead. How's your _boyfriend_? Is the soiled dove still recovering in his cage at the whore house?" Came the pompous voice.

"Fuck you, McGregor." Makoto sputtered out, his breathing strangled via the headlock.

Lloyd McGregor, the only son of the knightly Scotsman Johnny McGregor. Lean build, lavender colored eyes, pale skin, and bright red, mullet, hairdo included.

Lloyd heatedly barked, "Like hell I'd let you, ya daft, diseased dick, Nip!"

The starter set of bells rang throughout the multi-floored building, leaving Lloyd just enough time in the noisy rush to give Makoto a hard, triumphant fueled shove onto the gravel coated ground. He laughed heartily as Makoto audibly skid face-first into it, the boy obviously even more filthy looking than before.

After a second or two, Makoto made his way inside. He angrily limped in and soon found himself leaning into the side of the school's Vice-Principal.

"Hello, Mrs. Tate." The Japanese boy slurred out as clearly as he could.

"Hello, Mister Granger. Is Mister McGregor at it again? Well, we'll take care of that, but first you, come on."

The golden haired and sea blue eyed woman gave him a somber face before changing it to a warm smile. Her shoulder-length tresses moved with her as her slender frame moved to hold him upright and guide him along toward the office. Her stride gave away how athletic she was despite the craziness of her job. Judy Tate, Officer Max's mother, also doubled as the school's gym teacher.

Halfway there, Makoto twisted himself away and seethed, "If you knew, why didn't you do something?!"

Mrs. Tate wiped her face free of his spit, keeping her delicate features composed, "There's only so much I can do-"

"Bullshit! If you really cared for us like you claim you would've been on his ass from the moment Gou told you about it."

"Don't swear, Mister Granger, you know that's against the rules."

Makoto smirked, the serge of craving and control settling in, "When I'm done with you you'll be wishing that was my only offense."

He sneered at her heatedly, "You females are all the same. You act all nice and proper with your pretty bodies but always stand by and let the other men do as they please to the weaker ones!"

Judy sensed there was more to this but wasn't sure why, but she put her hands to her hips nonetheless. But in silent disbelief, she wondered where her normally polite and goofy boy had gone. He wasn't this mouthy when Gou was around so what was the deal? Then she caught a whiff of his breath. Was this real and in a twelve-year-old boy too?

Makoto pulled out his thermos and took another gulp, both the overconfidence and the fog returning. He'd show her who was boss, all of them. No one would hurt him ever again. But more importantly, he'd prove it to them, _show_ them all that he wasn't what they thought, or so weak that he needed to constantly be defended. Forget having a thing for his friend, for his princely protector.

* * *

Flipping mindlessly through channels, Gou lay comfortably on the couch while his father rummaged through his laundry upstairs. He stated bluntly that he'd be throwing out the _garbage_ that the Succubus made their wingless angel wear. Too restless to focus on just who his dad meant by _their_ , but most likely he meant his deceased mother, his mind and eyes were immediately occupied by colorful cartoons and catchy commercials. So this was cable, huh? What else was he made to miss out on?

Boredom overtook him, so Gou turned off the television and placed the remote on the coffee table. Ok, so clearly the television wasn't for him.

The moment he succumbed to the echoing lulls of the grandfather clock in the other room there was a vibrating, buzzing noise from nearby.

Curious, he picked up his father's phone from the floor and let whoever was on the other end speak.

The man's voice on the other end of the line sounded a mix of gravelly and syrup coated. Incredibly old, yes, but he couldn't place the age. It also didn't help that he was speaking in a language Gou didn't understand. It seemed that if he truly wanted to learn what _exactly_ his father was up to, this call was no help. When there was quiet on the other end, Gou hung up the phone and placed it back where it was.

 _It must've fell out of his pocket at some point._ Gou thought, wondering if he'd noticed it was missing yet.

Laying back down, and stretching out a bit more, the conversation ran through his head. With an audible gasp Gou realized he did understand something out of all the, for lack of a better word, cheerful gibberish... A name. Just who was this person, Lin Kon, and why was his father getting calls about them?

 **To Be Continued...**


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten: Trouble**

Gou took his phone out of his pocket and read over the response he'd received from Makoto a second ago. He had to admit, it really was nice to be this still. Maybe his old man did know best.

 _Wait..._ He thought, sitting up in realization.

With a cold sweat running over him Gou reread the text. He needed to make double-sure that he'd read that right.

Mako: _I'm in trouble._

Without a second thought, Gou dashed out of his house, shoving down the pains and emotions as always. He had to be strong.

Makoto's fearful gaze was glued to the unconscious woman on the floor. Doctor Joe, who had dropped by to check on him, was tending to her as if he wasn't there.

"She'll be alright. She'll come to in a while." Joe said, matter of factly, refusing to look up at the apparent cause of Mrs. Tate's state.

"What happened?" He asked, picking her up gently and proceeding to carry her into the office to sleep on the cushy couch. Thank goodness the principal was out to host an outdoor assembly.

Makoto stepped to follow him but halted at the door. Keeping himself at a distance seemed like the best course of action right now.

"I-" Makoto started. His voice quaky as he leaned against the door as if nothing was wrong, unknowingly impersonating his friend. "I went forward, she stepped back, hit her head hard against the wall. I didn't lay a hand on her, I swear."

In a rush the headache came flooding back with a thunderous slam and he instantly felt nauseous. While holding his stomach, the boy woozily met the hot eyes above him.

"That had better be the truth." He said, unconvinced.

"Yes, it is."

Doctor Joe took out his phone, but before he could press Call, Gou appeared. First in a distant blur and then in a heaving, hunched over lump gripping his knees. Joe waited, knowing he had to catch his breath.

"What a way to run. Is everything okay?"

With a single brow moving toward his vanishing hairline, Joe then asked, "What are you doing here?"

Gou lifted his drenched head and breathlessly said, "I-" Deciding against explaining himself, he snapped to Makoto and growled out, "What happened?"

Makoto shrank under the fire his friend's eyes held. "Uh-"

"I'm gone from you for a few days and you take it upon yourself to fuck up like this?! Drinking on school grounds, really Makoto?! And don't lie to me! I may not have known you drank like a fish on the regular but I do now and I can smell it. Smells like yesterday. And another thing, I'm done with you if you don't straighten out."

Doctor Joe, with a slowly slacking jaw, watched as Gou berated Makoto as if he were disciplining his child. What kind of dynamic did these two have exactly? One minute they were broken kids trying to mend each other plus themselves, then the next they were acting like all-knowing adults or bickering as if they were brothers, and now a parenting type of aspect was thrown into the mix. Whatever this was they had between them, it felt deep. Or maybe complicated? He wasn't sure which to place it under.

With a calming breath Joe began, "Boys."

Just then Officer Max made his way toward them from the other end of the hall but jogged into the office. Joe deduced that Judy must've come to and went inside to see to them, clearly not going to get their attention.

Makoto smiled at Gou and said, "You can stop now, he's gone."

"Oh I'm not done. You're putting the bottle down, starting now."

Oh, so, he was serious. Gou meant all of that? Makoto blinked in surprise, his voice box turned off.

"I'll try my best."

Gou gave a look Makoto knew all-too-well, one that pretty much said he better not be bullshitting him. The time for their lies and their usual _fines_ was over.

"You'll do more than that. You'll succeed in the long run."

Makoto nodded, though on the inside he was very doubtful. He'd go along with it, because the captain of their two-man crew was back at the helm again and he didn't dare say no.

* * *

Officer Max Tate opened the doors to the Hiwatari home and the two teens walked in with their heads hung low. They were about to have the book thrown at them. The doors were shut, hinting that their uncle Max had left, and footsteps trailed in, toward them.

They lifted their heads and saw Kai coming towards them. He stopped, standing wide with his arms folded over his chest. Gou could feel how pissed he was, an aura of ferocity radiated from his entire being. Gou's gaze faltered, roaming around the room.

"What the hell is wrong with you two?" Kai started, keeping his voice low and calm. "Gou."

Upon hearing his name he looked ahead.

When Kai knew he had his attention he continued, " _You_ left, ran off to only the good Lord knew where and made me worried sick. I looked everywhere for you. You're wounded, stay in bed."

Gou shrank, feeling smaller than usual.

"Makoto, you drank yourself to gone and openly threatened an older woman, a respected member of the school's staff no less. Am I right, or did I hear uncle Max and the doctor wrong? And you're battered too. You may not be all that damaged physically but ease up."

Makoto nodded too, mirroring Gou's wary, sorrowful expression. Oh God, they were in for it.

Kai's arms lowered, "Then why the fuck did you two try and lie to me about it?!"

Kai took a deep breath, keeping himself in check. "Makoto, Gou, go upstairs. I need a minute."

The two nodded in response and went up. As they did, they heard Kai answer his phone.

While Makoto thought nothing of it, Gou picked up on something familiar. His dad knew that odd language, but how, when? Looking back it was obvious but still strange. He knew his dad knew more than one language, Japanese and English, but three, and what was the other one? Just how many did he know in total? However, Gou decided to keep heading North, not wanting to make more trouble.

Meanwhile, Kai hung up his phone, leaning over the counter in front of the coffee pot. He'd found it while bringing down the last boxful of Gou's old clothes.

His heart leapt for joy at the news while his mind bombarded him with the many, some unpleasant, scenarios that his _what if_ thoughts typically brought on. He was happy but also a mix of scared and anxious, and all because of what was about to transpire. Running into an old friend usually did that to you too.

But what to do about his son? He couldn't just up and abandon him again... Could he? No way! And then there was his nephew to think of. Keeping this promise was important beyond belief to him but more people counted on him now than they did back then.

 **To Be Continued...**


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven: Assessment**

The boys quietly held themselves up in the attic, Makoto's room. They sat on the edge of his bed, shoulder to shoulder, Gou at Makoto's right.

"Are we okay?" Makoto began, never having been under the wrath of his uncle. Uncle Kai was one person he'd hardly seen angry, let alone fuming at him.

"You mean with dad?"

"Yeah? Who else would I be talking about?"

"I wasn't sure if you meant Doctor Joe or Mrs. Tate, us or-"

"Oh. Yeah, I meant your dad."

"Yeah, we're fine. He just needs a minute to chill."

Gou placed a comforting hand on Makoto's shoulder, a soft smile stretching his lips, "Don't worry, he won't hurt us."

"How do you know?" Makoto snipped, his tone sharper than normal. "According to you, _daddy's boy_ , he was hardly home."

Gou didn't miss that jab, his fuse lit. "He was off working. Doing something honorable, unlike your bar-hopper old man and junkie old lady."

"He only drank because my mother cheated on him no matter what he tried to make her happy."

"With who, the whole town, city folk?"

"Shit, man, I don't care to know!" Makoto snapped, his eyes flaring.

"And the drugs? I'm pretty sure Cocaine or Heroine was a conscious decision."

"Was it a conscious choice for _your dad_? You know, the poisonings?"

Gou wiped the hot spit from his face but beyond that he didn't make a move.

Makoto looked away from him toward the door, shoving his urge to bark more down. After a bit, he calmly said, "I know it wasn't a conscious choice for yours like it was for mine but my point still stands, how do you know he wasn't off killing people? I can see it in his eyes, he's got a mega-temper. It's a white hot one that he has to keep under control. For some reason or another he's distant, doesn't let himself feel. And I mean fully express himself, not this half smile nonsense. He's always subtle and very vague. He seems like he's always hiding something or preoccupied... Why is that?"

"He doesn't show emotion much because he feels like people will take advantage of that. I'm that way too, or have you forgotten?"

"No, _listen_ , I'm saying you don't know him as well as you think you do. Look, my dad and I are a lot alike. When he's sober he's an amazing man, like me. I know this because I've watched home movies and looked at pictures. It's rare but I've seen him sober too. He's told me stories too. What has your dad done to tell you about himself, anything?"

"I don't need pictures or videos to show me that, his actions do... He tried to show me a box, that's it."

"And, was it full of just his stuff or-?"

"I don't know I ran off to you!"

Makoto hopped off the bed happily, frisbeeing his hat on to his pillows. "Well, ain't no better time than now to look in it, don't you think?"

Gou followed him, his anger defusing, the room becoming a degree lighter. He had a point. While he felt the argument came out of nowhere, blaming it on the booze, it did get him into a new line of thinking. Maybe, in learning about what his father had a hard time openly talking about, he would see himself clearer. If recent events taught him anything it was that running away never solved issues, it only created more.

"Sure, let's do this."

"Yeah!"

While Makoto rushed around in excitement, Gou calmly stepped about, eyes scanning for the familiar item.

Within a minute or two they spotted it tucked away in the many top rafters holding up the roof. Judging from the stains, discoloration, and wear on the box it had been outback for many years but that didn't matter. The two got it down by standing on an aged milk crate each and then carefully set it down between them on the floor. Makoto confidently pulled out his house keys and cut in.

The first thing they laid eyes on was a handful of plump plush, bright red phoenixes.

Makoto and Gou exchanged confused glances then pressed on.

While Makoto pulled out what appeared to be a Precious Moments doll, he glanced up to see Gou closing the box.

"You wanna stop?" He asked carefully, unsure of Gou's motives. Like his much older clone, Gou was a puzzle at times.

"For now." Gou took a breath and added, "I wanna talk."

"Talk? Ok." Makoto put the doll aside to show he had his undivided attention.

"It's no question you need help. We both do, but out of the two of us, you need it more."

"Excuse me?!" Makoto fired off, "We all have our own shit, and who are you to say I'm an addict?! You could be too, ya know?"

Gou scowled, his features hardening. Despite his nerves, the hurt, and his now pulsing veins, he'd do this. "No, I'm saying you're an alcoholic, and you need rehab, my dad's abilities."

"Fuck that! I'm not my dad, I can put it down."

"You've obviously been doing it so long that you can't. Why else would you have done all you did today? Sneak it in like you do, put so much unnecessary thought into concealing it, place so much emphasis on how much better it makes you feel, prioritize it over others or your wellbeing?"

This was so hard. He hated tearing into him like this but he had to if he wanted to get to him.

Makoto said nothing to that so Gou finished up, "For lack of better words, if you don't ditch the bottles, we're done."

As much as this killed him, Doctor Joe was right. He couldn't handle everyone's issues, expect to fix them and himself. They, in this case Makoto, needed to help the process along too.

" _Done_?" For some reason, that made Makoto's heart break in a way he'd never felt before, and his mind kept saying it wasn't just because they were friends. Something else was lurking in the depths.

" _Yes_." Gou annunciated, his eyebrows briefly moving toward his hairline. "I can't fix both of us, you have to help too."

"I never wanted this, it was pushed on me. You know that."

"Maybe not the situation or how it was ultimately handled but you did want the help. Why else would you have gone along with it, ran with me?"

Before more knives could be plunged and twisted into either of their hearts, Gou uttered, "Besides, everybody needs somebody."

 _So he does still want me here, but why someone like me? I can't fix myself._ Makoto thought, the quiet choking him.

"But you could do better than me." Makoto heard himself say, all but admitting his thoughts.

"Could I?" With a big, toothy smile, Gou added, "I don't think so."

Makoto felt his face heat up, and a copycat smile instantly decorated his face.

 _Wait a minute, why is my heart pounding too?_ Makoto thought, a cold sweat full of relief and happiness washing over him.

 **To Be Continued...**


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve: Crossroads**

A frazzled Max Tate came to a stop in front of the familiar abode, the smooth motor of his cop car still running. He ran a clammy hand through his blonde hair as he sat there, decompressing for a moment. Was he really doing this, here again, and on-duty too? This would be hell to explain back at the station. Mainly to a certain Mr. Stanley Dickenson, his longtime boss and a former business owner.

Cutting the engine, but not the GPS tracker or the body and dashboard cameras, Max slid out of his car and, with a stress-releasing slam, went around to the backyard.

Closing the screen door as he stepped into the kitchen, Max was met with a sight he'd seen only once before.

In a blind panic Max dashed to the man who was dazed and vigorously washing his hands in a sudsy sink full of steaming water. It was as if he couldn't get them clean.

"Kai!" Max said while he yanked him out of and away from the liquid fire.

He noticed Kai's hands were red like lobster and sizzling. Did he try to burn himself with grease too?

As he sat Kai in a chair at the table, Max spotted a smoking iron skillet on the front left burner of the stove. He switched it off and immediately went for one of the tall pails of ice kept in the freezer.

With guilt already eating at him, Max took Kai's hands and firmly pressed them into the cold, holding them there.

Kai came to and in the midst of tingling skin and his own screams, he found he'd somehow made a fist and punched the one pinning him down onto the floor. He pulled out his pocket knife and held it up to his visitor as he turned to face him.

"Whoa, Kai! It's me!" Max screamed as he got up, fighting the urge to grab his gun or taser. "You called me over, remember? Several minutes ago?"

"... Max?" Kai said, blinking a couple of times, his mind coming back down to Earth and placing him back into himself.

"Are you okay?"

"What happened?" Kai asked, trying to ground himself as all he'd previously done replayed in his head, clueing him in on what he'd been told.

Max confiscated the knife and pointed to the other's blistering hands, ignoring the stinging throbs in his right cheek. "You burned yourself."

Kai looked down at his hands and calmly placed them back into the bucket, submerging them as best he could.

"I see." He said somberly, angry at himself for being so weak; for allowing his age-old demons to coerce him to harm again.

He looked to his left and saw that he, unfortunately, wasn't the only one wounded.

"It's been a while since I've had one that bad."

"One that bad?" Max asked, his heart feeling sad.

Kai shot his old, no longer innocent, chum a hard look back, "I fazed out, and yeah, I'll be fine."

Max stood confused, getting the other bucket of ice out.

"Are you sure?" He asked, shaking more atop Kai's sweating hands.

"Yeah, it's diminishing, slowly."

Max took a breath, redirecting his mind.

Of course, now he remembered, Kai had PTSD. Kai's life was so troubled it seemed like fiction, but it was far from it. High school, when they'd all met. That seemed like a whole other life now. And in a way, it was. Everyone he'd ever known was different and nothing like he'd imagined. Kai Hiwatari especially, that man had gone in the opposite direction.

"Traumatic hellos aside, what did ya need? An update on the cases?"

"No, but sure, fill me in."

"Ok, Monica has pleaded guilty, finally. Took us showing her the journals to confess. Pictures of them. Up until yesterday, she said you were the one causing all the pain."

Kai rolled his eyes but then went stoic again. At the moment, emoting of any kind opened the door to headaches. "Of course, and Tyson?"

"He's relinquished all ownership of Makoto to you as of today. Tammy, she has given him up too, and he are at the penal farm, and Monica will be on her way there tonight." Max paused, realizing his slang had come through, "In some parts of the United States a prison is called a penal farm."

"Gotcha." Kai said, his heart breaking for Makoto.

"Back to you." Max began, obviously embarrassed.

"Lin Kon has finally been found." Kai told him with a straight face.

Max's jaw went slack, "How? The rumors were true? Mariah was really pregnant?!"

"Yes." Kai said bluntly, taking his hands out. He wiped them with a large, white hand towel draped on the back of the chair.

"And, before you ask, I took her to her appointments back then, Mariah named her, and Lin was the product of a drug-induced rape. Fuck memories, Ray's a twisted monster now."

"Ohhh, so you knew she was pregnant?"

"Yes, and I could tell what kind of man drugs was turning Ray into. Why do you think I fought so hard to find her?"

"Is she dead, Mariah I mean?"

"My sources say yeah but I'll know for sure in due time." Kai licked his lips and moved to dunk the hot skillet in the cooling water. He'd reseason it later. "Unfortunately."

Max let all the information sink in. He was looking for her, for them, add on his career and that explained a lot.

"If none of what you've done was through the legal channels I'd have you arrested for neglect and abuse of a child but, she took advantage and it's not like you meant any of this to happen. You're handcuff free."

"You got it. That being said, I don't want to leave them alone. Will you watch them?"

"I've got a three-day weekend coming up, can you wait to travel until Friday?"

Kai didn't want to but he would. "Of course."

"Then that's settled."

Max looked around and took in Kai's home, detail for detail. He looked back at Kai who amusingly seemed confused, "Do you even have enough room? This is just a three-bedroom house, right?"

Kai nodded, his gaze falling to the bowl of fresh fruit on the table. "Uh. I still need to renovate that office space into Makoto's room. Right now his room is the attic, Monica's unused spot... It's doable, and not to sound lazy, but I'd rather move."

An idea hit him and Max beamed as if he'd been dropped off at a candy shop and told he could get all he wanted.

"There's a house for sale right next to mine and it's ready to go. It's in the city too. Closer to therapists, your patients. Plus I'd be your neighbor, it'd be great."

"I have patients out here too, and it's _peaceful_."

"You've got me there, but at least consider it. You can take the bus."

The head and a half shorter man went up to his older brother figure and placed a light hand on his shoulder, "I know it's a lot to handle at once but maybe it's what you need too." Max's face saddened, "She died in this house too, right?"

Kai removed his hand and snipped, " _Yes, she did, and her name was Saori._ "

"My bad, Saori."

"I'll think about it." Kai hollered, leaving through the back door for some fresh air.

Max took that squeaky slam as his cue to leave, so he did. Deep down, Kai knew he was right. It would take some time.

 **To Be Continued...**


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen: Guidance**

"Your persistent nagging has paid off. Now what will you do?" Said a gruff, older man on the other end of the line.

"I'll be there as soon as I can, just keep an eye on her." Came Kai, his voice stern as always when talking to them.

"Will do, but we're waiting for you to give the go." The other man said, his voice the calmest of the two.

He understood how Kai felt, he deeply cared for kids too, but they had to play their cards right. If not, they'd lose everything.

Ignoring the proverbial dam in his mind as it broke, Kai indifferently said, "Right, understood... Get her out, hide her. Sedate her if you have to, but get her _away_. I'll call when I land."

The man scowled and frankly said, "My men and I are on it. You'll get here no later than next Monday. Am I clear? We can only keep her out for so long."

"Yes, sir, Mr. Yakuza."

The phone line dropped, and the moment it did, Kai went to make another call. Hopefully Max wouldn't mind two in one day during work hours.

* * *

While Kai pondered the details that pulled him into another _episode_ , his phone buzzed.

Pulling it out of his pocket, he pointedly asked, "Hello."

"Hi, uh, is this, Doctor Kai Hiwatari?" Came a shy, squeaky, uncharacteristically high pitched female voice.

Kai didn't recognize it and for a moment he wondered if this was a child?

 _You're being weak, showing faults. That's a no-no._ Came a familiar, seductive voice from the depths of his mind.

That creepy, horrible man was always there. He snuffed the voice out by taking a deep breath like he did many times, and continued speaking.

"Yes, this is Kai Hiwatari. State your full name and current condition." It came out robotically, the authoritative, icy nature barking out of him as if he were a commander in the army, in control.

"Come on, I don't have all day!" He added.

At the fearful shriek on the other end of the line, his psyche rattled, shook his system hard. With a groan, Kai put a heavy hand to the side of his head and gripped it tightly. The insides of his head swirled and swam in a pool of gelatinous-like water and he felt something snap at the base of his neck.

The line for him went dead, the phone falling out of his numb hand.

His body swayed unsteadily while he tried to step backward and sit on the bench. Smirking to himself, he thought that this was somehow fitting. It had been years since his last major mental slip, he was bound to shatter eventually from all the stress. But she wasn't here to help rebuild him or keep him afloat this time, so he doubted he'd be fine.

Bumping drunkenly into potted herbs and the arms of the porch swing, Kai miraculously found his seat and gracelessly flopped into it with an audible grunt.

Kai groaned in pain, the headache worsening. He sat, hunched over in a tight ball, and hands clutching either side of his head. His legs shook uncontrollably, the rest of his frame following suit.

"... Ow." He breathed out. Honestly, this was more than an 'ow' he wanted to hit something. But, he knew that would do more harm than good so he didn't dare.

There were many times he broke down and cried, went against his upbringing, and stressful times were no exception. So far, Joe was the only one to see that. Others, namely Tyson, had seen the remnants of his tear tracks but not the mangled mess.

"Need a light, doc?"

Kai lifted his half ton medicine ball feeling head up. In front of him stood Frank Angus. The chubby and bubbly, white haired and wrinkly African American man waved happily at him with his signature wide grin.

The usual awkwardness set in. Why was he still weird with people? Fighting it, Kai slowly went up to the shorter than average man, stepping down from the porch onto his leaf coated backyard. Kai politely smiled at him, kind hellos present in his crimson pools.

"I'm sorry, what did you ask?" Kai said as he approached him. There it was, the usual mask. Now he just had to keep it in place.

"Saw ya sitin' n'ere, looked like you could use a puff." The sweet southern man said.

"A what?" Kai said, confusion written plainly on his face. Slang was always the hardest thing for him to grasp. Saori had done her best to teach him some while he was learning English, but human speech was ever-evolving.

"I sorry, I meant a smoke, a cigarette."

Kai nodded, understanding, he knew those. As good as that sounded, he couldn't afford the consequences. "Thanks, but I don't smoke. Kicked the habit when Gou was born. Booze too."

"Wifey made ya, huh? I told mine I is who I is, no changin'."

Kai put his hands in his pockets, "No, sir, I put them down myself. It was my decision." Kai shifted his footing, softening his features and frame. The mask may have been up, but he meant all he was about to say. "I don't think ill of you for your habits. It's clear you handle yourself well. Being civil is all anyone should be, regardless of habits."

"Ah. My bad, doc." Frank laughed, his Santa belly shaking with his beefy shoulders.

"Anyways, I was droppin' by to say thank ya. Jessica is doin' bunch betta."

Kai smiled, "That's good to hear. I'm glad."

"The leg's doin' well too." Frank gave his right one a hardy slap. "I'm walkin' like my twin grand babies now, a little wobbly but good. I'm a new man! Wanted to show ya that too."

"You look marvelous, I'm glad."

It was then Kai felt himself get pulled down into a tight bearhug. Not being much of a hugger, it caught him off guard, but he relaxed, letting his reluctancy fall to the wayside. It was light, but he hugged him back, hoping that his sudden company understood all he was trying to convey through it.

"Yes, sir. You's a great doctor. Memphis, Tennessee couldn't fix me. Got sad, came to Japan for retirement and met you angels. Joe's got himself a mighty fine assistant."

"Thank you so much, sir." Kai said, cheeks hurting and eyes glowing with glee.

That tumor was exceptionally hard to remove due to all the nerves that surrounded it. He was worried Frank would wake up only being under local anesthesia, or bleed out, but he didn't and the surgery was a success. Joe had him lead that one, his first one, and he was proud of himself for it, Joe was too.

"I'll see ya 'round, doc, take care." Frank said, letting go of his hero.

"You too, sir, thank you." Kai said,

Kai turned and sat back on the porch swing, feeling lighter than before. Maybe things weren't as bad as they seemed? Still, amongst the morale boost the problems still remained.

He had a time limit, others to take into account, feelings. With a defeated sigh, Kai gave in to his little voice's wants.

He picked his phone up off the gritty floor and dialed the number. Not that this was a life or death decision but he felt he needed to hear a second opinion.

Before he could press the green button, a voice said, "No need to call I'm here."

Kai visibly jumped up, nearly going into attack mode.

"You think you would learn." Kai said, rising to his feet as he tried to shake off the fraying nerves.

"Learnt what?" Joe said while he rounded the corner, coming into full view.

He strode up the rickety steps, crisscrossed medical bags swung one by one, on and off of his hips, bouncing like the pendulum balls in a Newton's cradle.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!" Kai said through some slight laugher, his voice straining due to the unnaturally high and boisterous tone.

Doctor Joe smiled at that, his own laugh escaping as he jabbed, "But it's so much fun."

He could feel something in the air as a brief breeze blew by. Something major was going to happen soon, a sudden shift, but what and when exactly?

"Maybe for you." Kai sat back down, his energy depleted. "Not for me."

"Tired still?" Joe asked, physically expressing his concern.

"Drained is more like it."

"Well, I'm here now. So, let it out." Joe said as he parked himself down beside him after shifting all his load to the ground beside the swing.

Kai swallowed the lump in his throat and bluntly said, "There's a list."

He looked at him, using his fingers to have visual track and keep his head straight. "They called, Ray Kon's daughter Lin has been found. She's alive."

Kai cleared his dry throat. Lowering his fingers, he added, "Two, I'm thinking about moving closer to the city. I don't want to, but-"

His voice strangled itself and he couldn't bring it to help him finish the sentence. Why was this still so hard, talking about life? It's thirteen years and counting, yet the wounds felt fresh every time.

Joe watched him for a minute out the side of his eyes, seeing he was having a hard time, though he refrained from physically trying to comfort him.

"Take your time, son." He said gently, achy feet pushing the swing some to get it in a slow and steady motion.

The cool breeze wafting through him felt nice, the motion relaxing. Kai let it carry him for a bit before the knot loosened and he gathered his voice.

He looked at Joe and said, "What if moving ends up being another huge mistake? What if the boys aren't happy? If I get Lin, and she's not happy?"

Tears filled Kai's eyes but this time he let it happen. "What if it makes you unhappy?"

Simply pushing forward didn't seem so doable anymore, and he was scared. Scared of all he'd possibly throw them into, but maybe Max was right. Was a fresh start really possible for people like them?

"Well." Joe started as he scratched under his chin, head leaned back as he focused on the swing's hooks tethered to the ceiling.

"Never know till you try, right? Either you stay, and fix things here. Or, you move on and still try to fix things. What's more appealing at the moment? Staying where your boy has suffered through the hands of abuse for years, or giving him a change of scenery?" Joe paused, "If something were to go wrong with the justice system, and it will as you and I both know, then that brings Lin's safety back into question. If you moved, then she'd still be safe." He lowered his head down a bit after scratching his chin and looked to the disheveled young man beside him.

This time he placed a hand to his shoulder, "And boy, I won't hold what you feel is best for you and your family against you. I want _you_ and those young ones to be happy, and safe."

Kai took a breath, letting it all sink in. "Thank you, that makes a lot of sense. Who knows, maybe it'll help my ass too."

"Watching Saori die in the living room, God... You could see how hard it was on me, couldn't you?"

Joe nodded as he patted the boy's shoulder, "Change is only as hard as you make it out to be. I can tell you're scared, it's normal. But, sometimes it's what's for the better. You worry too much."

"Max Tate will be my neighbor so if I'm cranky you know who to blame." Kai joked, a smile stretching his face. And here he thought he was gonna fall apart.

"When aren't you cranky?" Joe snorted as he let his hand come back down to his lap.

Kai snorted at that, he had him there. "You think I'm cranky now, put me in a room with the Blonde Bazooka, you'll _wish_ I was like this."

The weight of the world fell off his shoulders in a crumble, he could breathe and think clearly.

"Now, how to tell the boys. I have until Saturday to sign off, move, and get settled in. Why is nothing ever easy?"

"Because if it were, we'd never know our strengths." Joe paused, thinking about the boys again.

"Don't tell em." Joe replied in a simple tone.

Kai gave him a hard look and then checked his head. "Have you been out in the sun too long?" Shifting to face him, he playfully added, "Don't make me put you in a home."

"I'm serious." Joe said in a dull tone as he returned the pointed stare and swatted Kai's hand away from his face.

"Why bother throwing more worry and stress on their shoulders? Just get them ready to go, quit overthinking things, and then _go_."

"... Oh." Kai said, a tad dumbfounded by the simpleness of it. "I can do that." Ok, maybe things could be that easy. Thank you, Saori 2.0.

Unsure of where else to go from here but too awkward to end it, Kai bashfully said, "You look like you've had a hard day. And I don't know what we're doing yet for it, but do you wanna eat dinner with us? We're gonna leave Friday morning. Not to be pushy, but it's now or never until further notice."

Joe checked the aged watch on his wrist, giving a small nod. "Love to."

Kai smiled at that, the mask fading. Who cared if it felt like he'd been clocked in the face by a boulder, he was happy. Happier than he'd been in days.

Kai stood to stretch, but when he did, he felt a draft wrap his midsection. Well on what was exposed.

Joe's brows rose a little at the odd, sparsely bumpy sight that had been given to him. He cleared his throat some to grab Kai's attention again.

"What happened to your back, son?" Joe asked, for once scared to get an answer. If he got one, Kai was good at avoiding things.

These wounds, or maybe scares, obviously weren't new but when did he get them? And why didn't he see them when he was shirtless some days ago?

Kai quickly lowered his arms and hurriedly yanked his shirt down, shit. He knew he should've worn the vest today. That thick thing was hot but it always kept this from happening.

Spotting the pail of mop water by the broom, he went over and picked it up. He undid his shirt, tossed it to one side and, ignoring the thoughts of stench or dirt, Kai dumped the icy suds and such over his head. He took a deep, sharp breath in as the cold ran over him, his abs briefly becoming more pronounced than usual. He'd finally done it, he'd erased the barriers he stacked up.

The bucket banged as he dropped it, swiveling to one side in the growing, rippling puddle at his feet.

He looked at Joe and said, "People like you... They got a hold of me."

After a pause Kai added, "To avoid you, and other questions or looks, I covered what I could in makeup. Luckily, my late wife and I share the same shade. I have either visible scars, or raised tissue, on nearly every part of my body. I'm a walking freak show."

Joe gave him a weird look, after jumping slightly at the dirty water dumped everywhere along the porch.

"And... What happened?" He stressed.

"Fuck me sideways." Kai muttered, not caring if Joe heard.

"Do you remember me mentioning the Underground?"

Joe nodded a little, going quiet so he could hear this without interruptions.

"I pretty much lived there. I'm the grandson of a well-to-do businessman. When I was five, one of his goons kidnapped me. Made me his monkey."

Anger filled every feature Kai owned and his voice reflected it. "His servant Boris Balkov became my new _father_ , and that preachy bastard took it pretty far. He held illegal fighting rinks in Russia. I was the punching bag until I learned to fight back. After that I made a name for myself."

Kai's voice lowered to almost a somber tone, and his frame seemed weightless. "When I was fourteen, a man named Mr. Stanley Dickenson found me while on an investigation. He went bankrupt to get me out... As for people like you, wanna-be doctors saw us pawns as a way to do their practice without a license."

"I... I see." Joe voiced in a low quiet breath as everything began to sink in.

Kai felt a small smile grace his lips and something akin to blushing happiness grip at his heart. "After that I lived in America with Mr. Dickenson and Max's family where I was homeschooled for a year, and then we moved to Tokyo where I continued the rest of my education and ultimately met Max's friend Tyson and some others. In that time I was in and out of hospital, therapy sessions. Which is where I met Saori, she was my age and the Doctor's daughter. She became my therapist overtime, degree and all. She was the one who truly helped me reintegrate into and feel normal in society."

Kai's face soured, "But, as luck would have it, I can't have any sort of happiness for long. She got sick, accidentally pregnant, we moved here to help her get better. We renovated. Not long after that, she died. You know the rest."

Joe gave a small sad and sympathetic nod. He couldn't imagine having ever lived the life this man had, nor would he have wished it on anyone.

"Know what I think?" He finally voiced after several moments of silence between them, shifting where he sat still on the swing.

"I think this move will be good, for all of you. If you need the help in getting ready, just call. Okay?"

Kai smirked, "Thanks, old man."

A shiver ran through Kai's system and he said, "Now let's go make some chili, this idiot is freezing."

"I wonder why." Joe said, an airy chuckle making his shoulders shake.

After putting his shirt back on, Kai opened the backdoor. He peered back at Joe and added jovially with a knowing glint in his eyes, "By the way, I put two tablespoons of cocoa powder in mine."

Joe made a disgusted face at that, which made Kai laugh. The joyous tune echoed as they entered the kitchen. That reaction was always worth it.

"I can't put my finger on why but it sounds like you're trying to poison me."

Kai got a tall-walled pot out. Sitting it atop a front burner he said, "Yes actually. That reminds me, I need to get the white beans from the tall cabinet."

"You don't put white beans in chili. Red beans only. My mother raised me on a farm in Texas, so I know a good chili." Joe boasted proudly as he followed him to it. Talking with his hands as usual in situations like this.

"Is that so?" Kai slammed the two different cans of beans into Joe's unsuspecting, but open palms. "Then show me how it's done, farm boy."

"You're on, yuppie."

Kai shut the pantry door, following his mentor back into the homey battlefield. For once, the adversary wasn't a life needing to be saved or personal dilemmas. It was something universal... Food, delicious dishes, plain and simple.

* * *

Gou reopened the box, trying to hide his blush within the plushies and such. He couldn't believe he said all that but there was nothing he could do about it now. Why was he so awkward with people?

Redirecting his thoughts, another question came to mind, why were there so many plushies and dolls in here?! There had to be about ten per each item at least, and who got what for who? His father never seemed like the stuffed animal or doll type, he certainly wasn't.

Stopping on one happy bird imparticular, he couldn't help but melt. It's golden yellow fringed, bright red plumage surrounded the lively cyan baby blues that stared sappily up at him. Ok, he'd admit it, they were super cute and the dolls were beautiful.

While continuing to rummage, Gou came across what looked to be a tattered scarf. Taking it out from the bottom of the box and holding it in his open hands, he saw the snow white, oddly heavy, material was yellowing with age and spattered in something rust colored and disgustingly crusty.

"Is that blood?"

Gou glanced up at Makoto who was holding another doll, this one looking more distressed than the one before. He placed it next to the other one.

"That looks like dried blood."

Gou nodded, his mind's gears clicking into place. Bloody scarf, dolls, plushies, what else would he find? He put the scarf back but then saw what looked like piles of poorly folded clothes. He put the scarf at his side and eyed the outfits.

"Yeah, those don't age uncle a bit." Makoto jabbed, a snort escaping through his nose.

"They look very early 2000s. Maybe, 2001-2005?" Gou assumed, watching Makoto, hoping he didn't tear something.

"Either way, that's a lot of colors. Greens, blues, purples, grays, blacks, browns-" Makoto said, continuing to sift through the dirty, musty smelling rags.

His eyes went comedically wide and he bellowed out, "Bahaha! Am I looking at scythe shaped elbow knives, and- and are those brass knuckles? Dude, your dad has weapons sewn into the red arm guards and black, fingerless gloves... Haha, there's a built-in fannypack on the gray pair of pants! And all the tops are tight, muscle tops. The fuck?! I'm beginning to wonder if your dad isn't secretly gay!"

Gou covered his ears to avoid going deaf, followed by the other's ecstatically booming and blabbering big mouth.

"Too noisy, chill." Gou growled out, trying to subtly stop his simmering blood from boiling over. Drunk or not, one more word and he'd be decking the asshole with a cinderblock.

Makoto nodded, fighting the strong urge to lick the palm of his hand and laugh more.

After a minute Gou removed his hand and went back to digging. Within seconds, Gou lifted out what appeared to be a journal. The smooth and leathery, beautifully bound, item was locked by a simple snap strap and seemed full to the brim.

"He read yours."

Gou lowered the book, giving Makoto his attention.

"Read his. You really wanna know him. Now's your chance."

Gou rose an unimpressed brow and said, "He didn't read it. Prying adults did."

Not this again. "How do you know he didn't read it? You still haven't gotten it back, have you?"

"No." Gou faltered, feeling something familiar, the weight of peer pressure. He looked at Makoto sternly, "I'm curious and it probably would help, but-"

"You're flip-flopping, pick one. _Now_." The urge to hit him where it hurt came back for the billionth time.

" _Quit_ pressuring me, ya drunkard." Gou said, his eyes blazing.

Makoto scowled back, the cold suffocating him. "I'm not pressuring you, I'm just speaking the truth, and you know it too. _Quit_ being a coward and grow a pair. He won't tell you, end of! Otherwise, he would've made you stay when you ran off to bitch to me."

Makoto snatched the journal and said, "I don't care what he thinks of me, so I'll _again_ do what you can't. I'll read it. _Aloud_."

Gou forcefully snatched it back, his actions half-voicing his mind.

Just when he thought he had the real Makoto back, the effects of the alcohol tied him down. Makoto going in and out of himself, how much longer would this last? How long would it take for him to completely reset?

Gou tucked the journal in his pants, on his right thigh, daring Makoto with a glare to try and take it. He winced at the sharp pinch the simple movement made. Guess he needed some medicine and to be more careful.

Makoto snorted at that, his arms crossed over his chest in defiance. "Like hell I'm touching it, it's diseased."

Gou's eyes filled with tears, but instead of letting them fall, he shouted, "For your information, I'm STD free."

Makoto scoffed, "I'm so sick of asking this. _How, do, you, know_?"

Gou stormed over and roughly yanked his pal up by the collar of his shirt, holding him with a single hand. He pushed him against the wall, pressing him into the old grain. "I was _tested_! Wake up and remember, or has your goldfish memory shrunk more?!"

"Don't touch me." Makoto swung, but Gou caught his fist and rammed the connected elbow back into the wall. Makoto winced but didn't move apart from that.

Gou slammed him against the wall. For once he was the one who caused someone pain, but he wasn't entirely sure how to feel about it.

Makoto shook his head, pleased he'd finally gotten a rise out of him. "Go back to your cellar, _Cinderella_. You heard your dad, better rest up."

Ok, that implication was enough to push him over, but he still didn't act on it. He couldn't wait for this mad man version to leave though.

Makoto swiftly leaned forward and gave Gou a hard knock to the forehead. Gou released him, staggering backward as he held his skull, praying it wasn't bleeding. Makoto took the opportunity to knee him in the gut and then give the punch he'd wanted to a bit ago.

"Never underestimate a Cinderella, all those chores can make you pretty strong."

Gou then wrapped his legs around Makoto's ankles and pulled him down, knocking him out with a hard hit at the back.

Gou picked him up and put him to bed.

This whole day was topsy-turvy and drunk people were a mess to deal with it seemed. Just like now, he didn't know what would happen next.

Sliding down to the floor, and leaning tiredly back against the edge of the bed, Gou took the journal out and began to read the new novel silently.

 **To Be Continued...**

* * *

 **This chapter would have been posted on Saturday but I had a wedding to go to. It was gorgeous and marvelous, everyone had such a great time. I'm so happy for the bride and groom, and it's given me ideas for some coming up chapters. Ah, the mind of a writer. XD**

 **On a second note, LuxahHeart helped me with the fatherly scene between Kai and Dr. Joe. And the cocoa powder bit is an homage to her and PreciousRoy's awesome story called, "Progression" where it's a running gag of sorts. Yes, people really do put cocoa powder in chili, which I don't think would taste bad. Where I'm from I've never heard of that but the world is full of wonders. :) Thank you, girl! :3**

 **At the end of the day, I hope you all are enjoying this story, and that it's not getting too confusing or you're starting to get bored.**

 **Thank you to everyone who decided to leave reviews. They make me smile and keep me going.**

 **To the sweet person who asked, yes, pairings are going to start showing up. I'm excited for you to see them. :)**


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen: Home Movies**

Putting his old man's journal aside Gou, currently up to when he's in high school with uncle Max and friends, went over to the box again.

Tucked gingerly underneath the clothes he found what appeared to be covered and nicely labeled home movies. Some were on VHS tapes and some were on DVDs. There were duplicate titles, meaning all the VHS tapes had been successfully transferred onto DVDs, somehow.

Gou, holding the small stack of thickly cased discs, peered around for something to watch them on but saw nothing. Then he remembered that Makoto had a laptop in his main school bag. Thank you, Advanced Placement Computer Science courses.

Gou glanced at Makoto to make double sure he was still out, and then dug the laptop out.

Opening the lid, Gou was greeted with a light meaning it was already on. Over half the battery life was still available too, so there was another plus. Gou took a look at his selection before popping one in.

"'First Year', huh?"

Without a second thought, Gou opened the case and let it load.

* * *

 **On** the screen came a noisy, coed classroom of talkative young teens. All aged fifteen to sixteen at most. Amid the casual chatter of the twelve to fifteen students, the camera panned around the small exam room, showing how comfortable everyone seemed. While the teacher sat behind her desk off to the side, at the front of the room, next to a washed blackboard.

The camera landed on a young man sitting in the second row to the front who's body language said he was bored.

"You look uncomfortable, and bored." The cameraman said, a bubbly giggle following.

The oddly two-tone haired man shot him a nasty look that said many inappropriate things, but all he uttered was a stern, "Turn nat shing oaff, Max."

Max gave him another happy and hearty giggle, "Not a chance, Kai. It's one of Mr. Dickenson's rules, remember?"

Kai groaned in the middle Max repeating himself.

"I have to record everything you do outside of the house. He likes keeping an eye on you."

"Choo mean sphy oon mae!" He spat, spit leaving his mouth. Stupid accent, why was he cursed with this thick a thing?

Just then a loud fart came from some unseen corner of the room.

"Sorry, I have deadly gas." Came a distant, prepubescent, male voice.

"Is it from your visit to Taco Hell?" Max asked, laughing loudly like an idiot. Then came the horrid smell.

"I've been poisoned!" Max said with a goofy scream. His dramatic coughing and then the silly dance to get away from the pungent odor making the camera shake a lot. In that madness Kai let a snorty kind of laugh escape. Max was certainly the good kind of company. Not that he'd ever tell him that.

 **The** next scene was a young Max Tate sitting alone on his bed in what looked like his bedroom, edgy rock band and Disney posters hung on every inch of his eggshell colored walls.

With his hands cupped between his legs, and his usual smile, he sat up straight.

"Kai's first exam went well. We won't know how well either of us did until June though. Then in August it's off to Japan. Dad's missing mom, so she took up the job they offered her." Max shrugged, excitement still beaming in his ocean eyes, "Not sure what that is though."

"Mr. Dickenson, you were right. I'm not scared of him anymore, or maybe it's the other way around I don't know. Anyway, it's not much but he's talking more and giving more than one-word answers. He's not keeping himself in the corners anymore or ducking or wincing at every little movement." The smile lessened, becoming small, "But he still overthinks things, jumps to conclusions or at any kind of loud noise. The TV scared him when he first heard it. Between you and me he thought it was a big camera for monitoring. I'm beginning to wonder if he wasn't brainwashed for control, just a little bit. I've had to remind him that he can eat any time he wants and that he doesn't have to work out everyday or pick fights, wear the same set of clothes for days. Or do stuff to earn his keep."

Max sighed tiredly, sadness and defeat coating his entire being. But on top of it all, dealing with someone like Kai was taxing. "He's still skittish of the adults. As you know. He's so docile at times you'd think he was a girl. No offense to him or them. But then there's ninety-nine percent of the other times. You'd have better luck taking a spoon to a brick wall than trying to talk to him, and if he does talk he yells at everyone. Very moody. I think it's a defense mechanism. He's afraid he'll be hurt, get hurt, again."

His cheerful disposition came back, "Anyway, this is May 25th, day number something or other. You can get it from mom. Max Tate signing off."

 **The** next scene to pop up was the front of some big high school. After a bit of squinting Gou recognized it. That was the one he'd most likely be attending in a few years. Sakura Blossom High. And unlike most schools in the area, it didn't seem to have a uniform, cool!

"Are we ready, gentlemen?! Three more years then it's off to freedom! Woooo!" Shouted a much younger and fresher looking Tyson, obviously on caffeine. Damn, he and Makoto really were twins, and so were he and his dad to a degree.

"Don't steal my camera, man." Came an unseen but playful Max.

Taking the camera back he jovially held a coffee out to a still stoic Kai who was distantly standing by someone who Gou knew as his uncle Kenny. Man, he really was short. Must wear lifts on his shoes.

The thought of that made Gou laugh, who knew.

"I'm ready to go as long as you got my tea."

That voice was new.

Gou watched as the camera panned to a taller man half a head shorter than his dad who was wearing a simple black and white traditional Chinese garb and black flats to match. He stood next to Tyson chewing on some gum. He looked well-groomed and his luxuriously long black hair was tied back into a low ponytail via some kind of hair wrap. He was in great shape, but so were the others in their own right.

"Yes, Ray Kon, I got your tea. Here you are, _Master_." Max said jokingly. Earning him a Cheshire Cat type of grin and a loud laugh.

"Thank you, _servant_."

"You guys are unbelievable." Came Tyson, laughing too. "Racist bastards."

"That'sh not rayshist. Why would choo call him someshing so vile?" Kai heatedly spoke, the group becoming eerily quiet and collectively turning to him.

"It's what we in human society call a _joke_ , calm down, newbie."

Max elbowed Tyson in the side, getting a grunted out _ow_ in response.

"They were just joking, Kai. Don't worry, we're all good people, great friends." Max told him.

"I don't understand, but don't care to."

The bell rang, and as the other three went inside, Max went up to Kai and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Kai gave him a hard look and lightly brushed it away.

"Are you ready? Day one of our Sophomore year!"

Without a word, Kai went in, mixing with the all-consuming crowd. Max followed him in.

After that the screen went blank, and the disc popped out.

* * *

While putting it back where it was Gou pondered something: Max seemed to hold more of a lean swimmer's body meaning he was on the swim team. Tyson seemed to hold a runner's body, so track and field it was. Kenny seemed too shy to openly play any sports so he probably just helped them out on the sidelines and that was fine. His father seemed to hold a fighter's body, there was no fat on him anywhere, so he must wrestle or do deadlifts? Gou still didn't understand a lot. His dad only wrote about being underground for some time and that it was beyond horrible. Whatever that meant. However, he couldn't pin what sport this new guy called Ray played. Was he a wrestler or a gymnast? And why did he look so odd? Not to be mean but the obviously Asian man appeared to be half cat his genetics were so strong. He seemed out of this world.

More importantly, why hadn't he ever met him? He'd met everyone his father knew, at least he thought he had. Once again, he was left with more questions than answers. Maybe the journal would fill in those blanks too?

"'Junior Prom.'" Gou popped the second disc in, his stomach tightening due to nerves, again. Honestly, when _wasn't_ he nervous?

* * *

 **There** appeared a mansion; it was old but still well maintained according to his school.

"I can't believe you got sourpuss to go." Came a giddy Tyson from the backseat of his mom's minivan, Max in between the two with his signature camera.

"Especially after that two-month suspension for assaulting Johnny McGregor in the locker room. Yikes. Don't think I'd like the school calling me a closeted rapist, or a bully."

Kai sent Tyson an indifferent stare, "Do you always believe the rumor mill, or are you just too dense to see past exaggerated words?"

Forgoing what Kai said, Tyson's face lit up and he said, "Duuuude, your English is great! Love the way your voice sounds. The girls are gonna swoon all over you, after they get through ogling me of course."

"Tyson, seriously." Max giggled out. "Kai, can I tell them? They won't breathe a word."

Kai looked out the window, "... Whatever."

The camera cut off and the next thing shown was pastel balloons and pearly ribbon decor adorning nearly every surface as elegantly clad people danced in a variety of ways to energetic pop music.

This didn't feel like Japan at the moment but times were changing and cultures seemed to be merging slowly but surely. People still kept what made them unique at heart but the western influence was seeping its way in and that was fine.

While the guys went off to dance some time ago, Kai stood back behind the refreshment table, hoping to watch the night away instead.

When a blushing, tall and dark pink haired maiden in a pearly white spaghetti-strap gown approached him, Kai noticed the camera at his side, turned toward him on the table, and shut it off.

The disc popped out.

* * *

"Ok?" Gou whispered, confusion evident.

What was all that about, and who was that mysterious lady? Whoever she was, she was sure pretty. Wait, was that his mom?

Hurriedly putting the other one up, now sweating steam, Gou reread over the third and final one, "'Video Diaries.'"

Gou popped that one in and waited with bated breath.

* * *

 **It** opened to a colossal, neatly made bed in a small, sparsely furnished room, a kitchenette and tiny bathroom in the background. It was an apartment.

"Ok." Kai began with a light breath, sitting on the edge of his bed in front of the camera with his hands drooping, fingers laced, between his knees. The tall, muscular man looked like a giant compared to everything around him.

"This is Kai Hiwatari signing on. Day one, in my new apartment, on my own... I'm eighteen-years-old, just graduated high school. Still going to therapy... Signing off."

While Gou waited for something else to start up, he couldn't help but feel flabbergasted. His dad really wasn't one for talking, was he?

 **The** next scene started up the same, only there was bruises on Kai's face, he had a busted lip, and that tan skinned, pink haired, golden eyed girl was with him. Like the one called, Ray, this girl seemed oddly cat like. Were they from a unique mountain village tribe or something? Had to be, there was no other logical explanation.

Gou's heart warmed at her presence, but what the hell happened to his dad?

"This is Mariah Wong. She'll be living with me for a bit. I can't say why here, later."

Kai unfurled his fisted fingers, revealing busted knuckles and scuffed up hands. He, as was the norm, indifferently said, "As for my wounds, got into a fight. Sorry, it's in my blood to be an ass."

Mariah looked at him and then at the camera and fearfully said, "He didn't cause it, sir. It was my ex's drug buddies. They jumped him because he was with me... I was, I was angry with him, so I left. Kai found me walking the streets and stayed with me."

Kai looked at her, concern coating him, the delicate frame that made her up going rigid with nerves and bashfulness.

"I was leaving the bar, and I sobered up before driving so you can forget lecturing me." Kai added, his eyes blazing with warning.

"Signing off."

The screen went black again for about a minute.

 **Just** Mariah was shown sitting on Kai's now messy bed.

She was wearing what appeared to be one of Kai's teeshirts, a baggy white one, and a pair of his dark purple jeans which were rolled up to her ankles.

"I've been here a week now, and I'm doing better. I'm sure Kai explained my situation, to you." Her face went red and her eyes shifted from side to side, something she seemed to always do. Either in front of cameras or Kai.

"Anyway, my ex, who you know as Ray, is still looking for me and I feel bad for involving Kai- I'm sorry, I'm rambling."

"I involved myself." Came a voice from the shower. "Speak up, girl."

"And be mouthy like you, I don't think so." Mariah barked back, her tone giving away that it was a joke.

"Aww, good kitty." Kai cooed with cackle, poking his head round the tiny bend before stepping into view, a lavender colored towel on his clearly wet head.

"Quit calling me that!" Mariah voiced, clearly red in the face.

Kai smiled, "But I like it."

Mariah blushed harder and said, "You have a creepy grin."

"Do I?" Kai said, his smile widening.

As Kai teasingly inched closer, the two clearly having forgotten the camera, Mariah gave him a nervous yet happy grin as she backed away, simultaneously looking for a way away.

Seeing he was about to strike Mariah shrieked with glee and a laugh as she moved to run off, rolling off the other side of the bed.

That, though playful, scream stopped Kai in his tracks and he visibly winced. He then watched her go, fear-filled eyes snapping in the direction of the still steamy bathroom.

Kai stood there for a minute in silence, his body going limp before he left the room, his tail between his legs.

Moments later, after the door shut, Mariah came out of the bathroom, hastily bolting after him. The camera stayed on for a bit longer before the battery life box flashed red and it died, the screen black once more.

* * *

The smoke mixed smells of cooking, melding meat and spices wafted throughout the attic and Gou's nose. Ok, that was odd. Where was that coming from?

"Dinner's ready."

Gou jumped in fright at the calm tone. He swirled around, sweating bullets of ice, to see his dad standing in the doorway, his body halfway in, singlehandedly holding up the trapdoor.

Then Gou's heart dropped. "Dad! Oh my God, your face, your arms!"

Gou, not caring if he woke up Makoto, ran up to him in a shock. But, like always, the words were on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't find them. Verbally translating emotions was really harder than it should be for him.

Kai looked at his son and then around at the mess, the pieces falling into place. He could feel Gou's jumbles of terror and regret, and he wanted so badly to quell them, but that could wait. For Gou, food came first.

"Come on." Kai softly said, extending a loose and open-palmed hand to him. "You need to eat. I'll check on Makoto while you do."

Gou's lips trembled. He wasn't going to beat him, punish him? Those kind eyes captured him in their net again, soothing him a small degree.

"Need my help, yeah?"

Gou nodded, feeling embarrassed about it. In his arms was both the first and last place he wanted to be.

"It's alright. I'll make you some more medicine." Kai said, carefully scooting him to him with his left arm. "It's okay, you're in good hands."

Gou gave in, internally, and let himself fall, relax into the hold physically, his father's heat and happy heartbeat surrounding him.

 **To Be Continued...**


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen: Moving On**

 **(Part 1)**

Kai closed the entrance to the attic as he stepped down, lifting the steps from the bottom and shifting them in place until the opening blended in seamlessly with the ceiling. The pull-chain looked like a light switch from far off, and unless you yanked on it, one wouldn't know you could get into the attic that way.

"Would you like me to carry you the rest of the way down?"

Gou's face went hot. Daddy's boy or not, this was humiliating. Thank goodness Makoto was out cold. He'd surely be laughing at him.

"I'm not a baby anymore." Gou snipped, his body aching.

Kai mentally smirked to himself, and here he thought he was pridefully stubborn. But he'd comply, the father side yelling at his doctor side to stop.

"Right, down ya go then." Kai said, placing him on his feet. "I'll walk behind just in case though."

"Ok."

The two made the way down, and while they did, something hit Kai upside the head. His boy really wasn't a child anymore. In five years he'd legally be an adult, possibly out on his own. How had the time swept by?

Gou took his seat at the table, face lit up at the spread. They were having chili? Sweet!

Kai watched, unknowingly grinning from ear-to-ear, as Gou piled his bowl high. Guess this was something he really liked. As much as he thought he did, Kai truly didn't know his boy anymore. Not like he wanted to. His gut sank. Did Gou hate him deep down for all he did, put him through? He couldn't recall if he'd asked him that or even heard him say anything like that. In the frenzied blur all this felt to be, one thing remained constant. He was distant. Though he tried not to be.

"Kai?" Came Joe, holding out a bowl to him, cheese and chips atop the beans and meat. This meal never was the healthiest of things.

Kai waved his hand between them, shaking his head no as well. "Not now, I'll eat in a bit."

Joe watched him go up the steps, his mind still going in endless circles.

"He's still not relaxing, is he?" Joe said, more than asked, as he sat down to eat, feeling defeated.

Gou peered up from his half empty bowl and said, "Dad's never relaxed. What makes you think he'll start now?"

"Because most men his age do ease up."

"Well dad's not most men."

"You act like you know him."

"Let's just say I've learned some things."

Joe sent him a look that said he was completely done with the vague answers and beating around the bush. Or people treating him like he was stupid.

"You and your father, I swear."

"What?"

"What is it about the past that makes holding onto it so important? I understand that you both have had a lot of pain and that for you it is fairly recent. However, I don't get why you'd, namely your father, waste your life away holding onto then and what if's? It's something you can't change. Now is here, what's in front of you should be everything to you."

Joe may not have been kidnapped and tortured or enslaved as a child but even he had his fair share of pain that was hard to get over. Every human does.

"I wanna know him. Maybe in seeing who he was and how he changed, because clearly he did a lot, I can understand who I am, who I'll become."

Joe was unfazed, "I understand, you want a clear idea of where you're headed. But if you're curious then ask, I'm sure he'll be uneasy but he'll tell you what he can. I still don't see why digging it up is so important. What's happened has happened. It'll be a process, but try to live for today."

"If you say so."

"Gou. I'm not joking. You'll only cause more pain. Instead of focusing on rebuilding a relationship with your father and growing it, you're opening doors you're not meant to. Live, trade yesterday for the future. It's what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are."

Gou snorted, "Are you seriously quoting Mew Two from the first Pokémon movie right now?"

Joe felt hot under the collar. " _No_ , I'm quoting my deceased father. He died from cancer when I was sixteen. Moved here afterward because my mother couldn't afford to keep the farm. Forgive me, but are you done being an insensitive cow?"

Gou's face saddened. He had no idea. Joe always seemed so normal, happy. Guess that would come from growing up, if so, why wasn't his dad that way?

"I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, but you get my point, yeah? When we lost my father my mother and I had two choices. Grieve ourselves into bitterness and despair or start rebuilding our lives like my father would've wanted. Your father tried to do too much at once and, on top of unresolved PTSD and traumas, has made himself out to be solely responsible for all and everything he's involved in."

"But he's not." Gou said, standing up from his spot at the table.

"And neither are you."

"How could he think that way? He's not alone. We're a family. A family is a team."

Joe smirked, happy to see this side of him. Maybe in arguing why his dad shouldn't feel that way he'd see it too. Why didn't he do this with Kai? Oh yeah, he was impossible at times.

"Why do you think that way?"

"That bitch put it into my head that I had to be a certain way. No if, ands, or buts about it. Unless I wanted to be hurt I had no choice."

"What about family being a team? Not being alone?"

"That's different. He has his own problems I have mine. You can't shoulder everything for everyone, you have to shoulder things on your own too. Builds character."

"How's it different?"

Gou growled, feeling frustrated by all the hard questions. "I don't know, it just is."

"It's not really, no."

"Prove me wrong then, go on."

"My mother didn't confide everything in me but I still held her up and she didn't know everything but she still held me. In times of crisis or lows, you don't need to know, just be there. At the end of the day, everyone needs someone."

"Then why is dad so distant from me?"

"Your father had that mentality engrained in him too by an even worse monster than Monica... You may be curious but ask yourself, do you really want to know? And if that doesn't convince you, would you want your dad outright learning all she did to you?"

Gou looked down at the table, remorse filling him up.

"No, I wouldn't." Gou shakily whispered out, feeling mortified.

Putting himself in his dad's shoes and reversing the roles made him feel horrible, like he was stepping on toes. Because, in a way, he was.

"So are you going to ask your father your questions?" Joe tried, hoping to get a different answer. These two needed this change. It'd help them move forward in the right direction, big time.

Makoto's influence had ran it's course, and Gou was hoping he'd be a different person when he woke up. Less pushy and more relaxed. The kind that helped him when he was at odds like this, not encourage him into doing something he'd ultimately regret.

"No, it's his business and I was a fool for digging to begin with."

"I won't argue with that, but remember, curiosity can kill. So be open, mindful, and careful."

Gou nodded, understanding him completely, "Yes, sir."

 **To Be Continued...**


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen: Moving On**

 **(Part 2)**

Kai quietly shuffled around the attic, putting things back in the box and stacking others on top of that. Makoto seemed to be doing fine, just sleeping what Kai knew to be a horrid hangover off.

As he stacked another, much smaller box, onto the other one he instantly felt calmer, the image of his wife's smiling face coming to him. As much as it pained him, this was what she'd want.

Needing some air Kai carried the cubic wall of cardboard outside, but not before double-checking that he had everything in here.

Seeing that he did, Kai made his way to the cans on the curb. In some odd way, he felt she was telling him to do it. Though he'd most likely be getting a verbal lashing as he did it for not doing it sooner.

He could hear her plain as the day in his head and couldn't help but chuckle at it.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Doctor Joe talking with Gou over the dinner they'd made. Their boy seemed happy, laughing at the story Joe was regaling. Something about his late father, a sweltering summer fishing trip, and the many hooks getting stuck in everything but them. It sounded interesting and funny as hell. But he'd started something and had to finish it, pronto.

Setting them down by the two empty rubbish bins, Kai stood up straight, his mind's voice ordering him to now check the shed. Kai did, and within a minute or two, came back around with two more boxes. He set them next to the others and took a hard breath.

Kai looked at the pile, at what he'd done, and contemplated whether or not he should burn most of the mass. He had a lighter for cauterizing wounds so... No. Boris may not but Saori's memory certainly deserved better treatment.

Deciding to just leave it for now, Kai took a walk around the scenic area, trying to relax himself. Before he knew it the sounds of the world had lessened. All but vanishing as his mind let go.

As he approached the bus stop, which stood some minutes up the hilly, winding dirt road, Kai noticed a young couple sitting on one of the three benches. Mr. and Mrs. Hughes, a kind pair from North America who he knew to be one of Joe's cases. They were recently wed and expecting their first child. She looked to be six months along now.

"Hey there, cutie. It's daddy. I'm excited to see you." The lean and freckle speckled, dark haired man cooed, rubbing small circles in his spouse's tummy.

His appearance matching, but more curvaceous, wife laughed, "Honey, stop, his kicking tickles."

He laughed in response, loving that bubbly sound as well as her bright eyed smile.

Kai smiled at the scene, his heart warming. But then his subconscious shifted gears and in their place he saw himself and his wife, Saori leaning her head on his shoulder contently resting while he held her close.

They'd taken a long walk one summer evening after just moving here, hands held and both feeling like it couldn't get any more perfect.

Upon hearing a wailing baby, that image was shattered, his mind pulling him back to reality.

Kai looked around for the source of the noise, and in seconds found it. An older woman, possibly the child's aunt, trying to swaddle the infant because it was cold, but having a broken arm made that more difficult than usual.

"Excuse me." Kai began, jogging his way over to her.

"Yes?" The woman said as she looked at him, sounding more irritated than she meant to towards him.

"Would you like some help?" Kai offered, flashing her a kind smile in-place of his indifferent glower.

"Yes." The woman said, relief visible in her features. "I've been trying to do this forever."

"Well, forgive me for not noticing sooner." He said as he shifted closer.

"Thank you so much." The Japanese woman said, giving him room to work.

Then things went quiet.

Kai noticed the chill from the big space she'd put between them, but said nothing. His mind screamed at him for not covering up beforehand. Boris's conniving, deep voice scolded him, saying how weak he was for not staying in line or keeping up he appearance.

 _I warned you this would happen many times, didn't I?! if you ever left the Underground or my special care! You fool, how dare you not listen... No matter, you showed you're damaged, now she'll judge you. Fear you... Like all the others have. You'll have nothing left. Nothing but me._

Shutting up the monster, Kai pulled out a few strips of dark, double-sided velcro from his pocket.

Smiling as he placed the strips on either side of the thick, pastel blanket, he sweetly said, "If you have questions, go ahead and ask." He peered at her knowingly out of the corner of his left eye, "I won't bite, ma'am."

"I don't have any." She lied, "I just don't want to be in your way."

Kai nodded, and went back to the baby. He cooed lovingly, "Alright, we're all done."

The baby smiled up at him, its lips trying to babble the thanks it's excited eyes gave off.

"Are you happy to be warm?" Kai cradled the infant, "That's good. Now, you wanna go back to this lovely lady? Yeah? She sure misses holding you."

The baby babbled and cooed, looking in her direction.

Kai carefully placed the baby in her arms, showing her how to hold him without hurting herself further or the baby.

"There we are, love." Kai said, mainly to the bundled babe, standing back to properly assess his work.

"Thank you so much."

"You're very welcome, ma'am."

"Is there someone out with you?" Kai asked after a bit, briefly gazing around.

"I'm afraid not. I'm on my own today. My sister is at home resting. I took Yukino out for some fresh air."

Kai silently nodded, thinking that the name sounded familiar, but where had he heard it?

"Would you like me to accompany you home?" Kai asked, concern creasing his features.

She waved him off, "Oh no, you needn't trouble yourself. We'll be fine."

"It's no trouble, ma'am."

After a bit of pondering she said, "I'd appreciate it. Thank you."

Kai let her lead the way, a slight step ahead of him, listening as she talked about their little home. As they went on, Kai realized they were heading somewhere he frequented at one time. He hadn't been there for some time though, maybe a month at most.

When the two walked up to the one-story abode, it all came flooding back. Kai had delivered that baby. Had it been that long already? She was getting so big.

"Here we are. Home-sweet-home." The lady reached to put her key in the door, only for it to be opened by a gruff looking middle-aged man.

"You scared me, Yuma." The woman said as she walked inside.

The man called Yuma only nodded, honestly he looked half-asleep.

Right when Yuma was about to close the door, he spotted Kai, who was making sure the baby was sat down carefully. Not that he didn't trust them, it was just a him type of thing to do. He'd always done that, been protective of those around him, sometimes to a fault.

Kai rose a hand, "Hi-"

"Oh my God, what happened to you?!" The man shouted in sheer panic, his mouth clearly unhinged from his brain.

"I've had a rough time of it." Kai told him rather bluntly, his face expressionless.

It took the man a minute to realize that this was the doctor who had delivered his child, but when he did it was as if he'd had ten cups of coffee.

"Thanks for walking my sister-in-law home. That was very kind of you."

Kai wasn't sure what to say to that other than the obvious so he just bowed back.

"I'm glad to see that all is well." Kai said, trying to avoid an awkward silence.

"It is, but being a parent is its own kind of exhausting."

"Then maybe you should rest?" Kai urged.

Kai gave him a wide grin, his face hurting again.

The father smiled back, "Understood. Take care, Doctor Kai."

"You too. I'll see you around."

When Kai made his way home, he decided to sit on the porch swing, seeing as Joe had things under control. Through the screen door he could faintly see Gou was on the couch, possibly lounging, and Joe at the table going over paperwork. That'd be him in a few days, working from home and being a nearly constant presence.

Kai took a seat on his porch swing and relaxed into the throw pillows he'd washed after breakfast this morning. The social interactions from today made his body extra hot so falling into a catnap was no trouble at all.

As Kai drifted off, he couldn't help but think she was right about the make up, that the people here weren't that cruel, and those that would be were few far and in between. Maybe if he'd let his guard down earlier like she said, to more than her, this ease would have been inside him sooner. In his heart of hearts he'd always knew that voice, that Boris, was wrong. Boris had been wrong about a lot of things ultimately, but... It still took seeing it, just like with love, to finally believe it. And, for once that little voice in his head wasn't asking how long this peace would last.

 **To be continued...**

* * *

 **Thank you all for your marvelous reviews! They helped me along and to get this one out. I honestly feel like the story is falling off the rails, but maybe this chapter will get it back on track** **. Fingers crossed anyway. I hope you all enjoyed this update! You all are the best! ^^**


	18. Chapter 17

Hello! ^^

First off, I want to say a HUGE, LOVE AND APPRECIATIVE FILLED THANK YOU and give a big HUG to ALL who've been sticking with this story, as well as leaving reviews, and messages to tell me what you think. It all sincerely means the world to me, and I'll never be able to thank you enough.

This chapter is dedicated to **Rainbow-Winged Phoenix** , **PreciousRoy** , and **LuxahHeart** \- three of the most wonderful people on the planet. Not only have they helped me become a better writer in many ways or another, but they've supported me through thick and thin. Love you all to bits! I hope you like this update! :)

Speaking of epic help, the lovely LuxahHeart helped me with two sweet scenes that I was super stuck on. A hospital scene that was between an 18-year-old Kai (who she was) and my (same age as Kai) original character, Saori Kusanagi (who I was). The second scene was between them where they are both 36 and we play the same roles.

Also, for any Smallville fans, there's a few homages for you. (I would say Easter eggs but you're not _watching_ this.)

The songs used later in this chapter are; "You and Me" by Lifehouse, and "Baby I Need You" by Kim Taylor.

Anyways, enough of my ramblings, enjoy the long chapter everyone! ^^

 **Chapter Seventeen: Life House**

The sun rose slowly, another sleepless night having come and gone.

For Kai, nights like last were coming more often again. Though as a doctor he should, he truly didn't count Monica's poisonings as sleep because _he_ wasn't the one doing it, easing himself to fall asleep.

While sitting up, legs long tossed over the edge of his bed, he watched the sunrise through his bedroom window. It's beauty was as captivating as always.

It was cueing five o'clock in the morning on a Friday- leaving day. If all went well they would be there by mid-afternoon, evening at the latest. Thursday was spent looking over the photos Max sent throughout that time and signing many, many documents.

Once the sun's show was over, Kai stretched with a noisy yawn, his joints popping. He quietly stepped out into the hall, carefully closing the door behind him.

For a moment he took in the quiet, listening to the house breathing. But the work side of his brain soon put a stop to that. They had a schedule to keep to.

Kai pulled on the chain and went up the stairs once they were down.

"Hey, Makoto," Kai said as he gently shook him. "You gotta wake up."

The boy stirred, rolling over with one bleary eye grumpily squinting up at him. "Five more minutes."

Kai stood tall and said, "No can do, bud. We've got a long day ahead."

Kai removed his blanket and said loudly, as if he were leading a drill, "Alright, let's go! _Get up_!"

Makoto sat up with a groan, his hair an unruly mess.

"Makoto, I need you to eat, get cleaned up, pack your things. We need to be in the Kermit green van outside no later than eight. I'll help get Gou settled and ready to go just focus on you."

Makoto nodded, though he was still trying to process it all. Why was all this happening so early? "I'm on it."

"Everything will be left open, so I can hear if you go back to sleep."

While Kai left the single day sober Makoto to it, he went down to stir up Gou.

As the boys ate a filling breakfast of oatmeal, fruit, eggs, bacon, and cheesy grits Kai took one more thorough walkthrough before he officially called it done with. Then he went to get himself ready.

In the span of two hours, all were headed out the door and out to the roomy van Kai had borrowed from Max. Once seats had been picked, beds and suitcases hauled, Kai drove off.

"Where are we going?" Asked Gou from his spot in the spacious passenger seat, watching the house grow more and more distant until it was out of sight.

Kai turned a corner onto another dirt road as he said, "Away. Somewhere new."

Gou yawned, nodding yes that he understood. He'd figured they were leaving. "I figured, considering you were taking beds and stuff apart."

"Everyone needs a fresh start. It's been a long time coming, and I'm an idiot for not doing it sooner."

"You're not an idiot." Gou somberly complimented, "In your shoes, I don't know if I'd have been able to do it."

Kai let up on the gas, seeing the speed limit sign on the side of the road read 30 miles per hour. The sensation of driving after so long felt surreal, weird.

Driving through the bus stop, Kai said, "I'm not talking about just being ready to move on. I put my life on hold, _your_ life on hold, _our relationship_. I meant well, but I've been so focused on making a life for us that I forgot to include you in it. I chose work over everything else. At least my actions say that. I tried to be there, home as much as I could, but it just wasn't possible. I'm sorry for all of it, but things are going to get better. You'll see me all day, every day, unless I absolutely have to make a house call."

Gou's eyes lit up, "You're getting your own clinic?!"

Kai smiled, his eyes still on the road, "Yeah. It'll be in our new home, but there's enough room I can securely separate you all from them. _IF_ any of them have to stay."

Gou relaxed into the seat, floating and suddenly feeling more exhausted than ever. Makoto went back to sleep the moment he could.

"You're that happy, huh?" Kai said, seeing how he felt.

"Yeah."

As his dad turned another corner onto the main road he pressed down on the gas, speeding up again. Gou covered himself up and fluffed out his pillow.

"Me too. Get some more sleep. I'll wake you when your rooms are ready."

Gou nodded, the Sandman quick to take him hostage.

In the tenseless stillness, while Kai drove slower down the steadily busying streets, his mind went back in time.

* * *

 **A** young boy around fourteen spat blood out of his mouth into a dirty sink in his bedroom, the rush of the rusty facet's water filling his ears. Cold droplets splashed up in splatters onto his dirty face. He washed his scratched up face and scared body as best he could with some sopping wet paper towels and soap, careful to avoid tearing anything open again. He didn't need fresh blood on top of everything else.

A young man entered, stepping over the threshold of his nearly bare room as he took in his surroundings. A small orphanage, how typical.

He had a bushy, broom mustache and a mop-top of brown, curly hair. He was round and fat like a balloon, wore a nice, four button gray business casual suit with polished shoes, and rounded hat to match. His skin was pale and he had glasses slid down his nose, making his deep, chocolate brown eyes bigger and pop even more.

"Hello." He cheerfully said as he stood outside of the boy's so-called _room_ , his voice sounding a mix of light, bubbly air and syrup coated.

The boy scowled icily at him and then continued to clean himself up, mentally wishing he could either make him disappear or melt him into a puddle.

The silent watcher noticed the boy had trouble cleaning his back, it looking just as unkempt, and dare he think _gross_ , as the rest of him.

"Would you like some help?" The man nervously but still kindly asked, inching slowly toward him.

The boy gave him one last murderously nasty look. His visitor seemed shocked by that. He looked the mysterious man over, questions racing through his mind. If those manipulative and brainwashing monsters were being so careful, how did _he_ find them?

The man offered the damp boy a big, kind smile as if he were seeing his favorite nephew, and began to speak in Russian again. "My name is, Mr. Dickenson, but please, feel free to call me, Stanley."

"Fuck off!" The boy spat.

"I can't, I got call that said you needed my help."

"Liar!" He screamed.

Upon doing that there was a crash and some yelling out in the front area. It was a language the boy didn't understand but maybe it meant that he, and many others, were finally free? Then again, it could just be a trap. Maybe he'd heard of him and wanted him for himself, for his own purposes?

Stanley waited for the noises to subside before speaking again, "Not to be rude but I am a busy man. I'll leave whether I'm lying, or not, for you to decide."

As he turned away, Stanley leaving, the boy ran out into the hall and saw the monsters being led away in handcuffs by two men, one on each arm.

Before he knew it something inside him had stirred and he was running on auto pilot, towards him, and whatever awaited...

 **Kai** made his way down the long set of carpeted stairs, dressed and ready to go, his boots loudly pounding on the old wood. Walking all around the downstairs area, he looked around for someone, anyone. In the silence he slowly realized there was no one there but him.

Out of the corner of his left eye, Kai saw a red flashing light and turning, saw that it was coming from a small black box. What on earth was that thing?

Inspecting it, Kai found a small wire and saw that it was connected to the wall behind the table. What was this blinking contraption?

From the odd box came a blaring, repetitive screeching noise. The moment he heard it, Kai threw the alarm clock away from him and ran away from it, up the stairs, in sweat filled fright. Halfway up the stairs he found himself out of breath, his hand on his heaving chest, his heartbeat up. He hadn't felt this much anxiety triggering fear since he left, since his first doctor appointment where he had to be put to sleep, the trials.

While he kept trying to catch his breath, Kai looked back to see... Wait, why wasn't it chasing him?

"Kai?"

Kai's gaze fearfully snapped up to the owner of the home, a Mrs. Judy Tate, Max's mom.

Donning her usual fluffy, cherry blossom pink housecoat and fuzzy, matching slippers, the worried woman smiled welcomingly at him.

While Kai looked up at her, doing his best to breathe, he wondered what she was going to do. Would he be shot at for being up without call, or would she beat him for showing his emotions? He was allowed to do that, right? Right? But what if it was a lie? What if they were baiting him into a trap, going to just use him? His mind raced with those questions and the possible probabilities, making his panic and anxiety rise higher.

Before he knew it, he was pleading in Russian for her to spare him and that he was sorry for stepping out of line. The fact that she didn't understand the language slipping his mind, again.

Judy looked the young teen over in confusion and slight worry. He was panicking again, and he looked at her as if she was going to shoot him. The poor dear. Yesterday he'd heard the television for the first time and almost had a heart attack at the noises, not to mention the surround sound system. He thought he was being yelled at and couldn't understand anything. In the end, he'd covered up his ears and hid up the tree outside. For a moment she pondered if they'd got an overseas orphan or a humanoid cat.

She slowly slid her right foot an inch forward, saying softly, "Come on, Kai. You're in good hands."

Before he realized it, she'd urged him downstairs and sat him on the sofa. A moment later the alarm clock had been shut off, the sudden silence soothing to them both.

Kai relaxed at the noiseless air, being able to hear his own heart rate slow down and his breathing was nice.

"It's five o'clock in the morning, what are you doing up?" Judy asked, bring him a hot cup of coffee and sitting away from him on the other side of the large couch.

She'd learned from Mr. Dickenson that he didn't like a lot of close contact unless he initiated it himself, which was pretty much nonexistent. She also learned that he had a peculiar habit of distancing himself from people if he was unsure of anything. He'd once found him underneath his table in the kitchen. Kai later said, after he'd talked him out, it was because he was cooking dinner for them. Kai didn't like others touching his food. Whatever the reason, Mr. Dickenson just let him handle his own meals from then on. Ok, but what did being up so early have to do with any of that?

"It's one of the rules, mandatory, the sun will be up soon, so I have to be up." He told her flatly, his English still hard to make out. But she picked up on enough.

Ok, now it all made sense to her, kind of.

"You don't have to do that anymore." Judy told him kindly, "If you are tired then go back to sleep. In America we don't fuss at people for sleeping when they need it."

Kai felt his nerves loosen up, his shoulders untangle.

"I am, allowed to, sleep now?' He said slowly.

"Yes, as long as you like."

Kai nodded and strode back up to his bedroom. But before he turned 'round the bend of the stairs, he turned and asked, "What was that horrible noise?"

Judy calmly said, "It was my alarm for work. It tells me the time and when I set it to a certain time, it goes off to wake me up. I'm a heavy sleeper so I need something to yell at me."

Kai nodded, his mind still somewhat confused as he went on up. Why would anyone use something that screamed at you like that? That was an awful way to start the day as far as he was concerned.

Walking into his room, Kai lay sprawled atop the brand new bedding. It was so comfortable but no matter how hard he tried, just like all the other nights, his heavy eyes wouldn't close. His mind became louder, screaming everything at him from every angle. All he thought, felt, and struggled with, plus the crazy events of the past month. That new therapist doctor Mr. Dickenson was sending him to said he was traumatized, and he was starting to believe it. He still wouldn't trust him as far as he could throw him, which was pretty far given his strength, but maybe he was onto something?

Rolling onto his right side, facing the plain wooden door, Kai laid eyes on the plush, red bird the doctor's daughter had given him on his first visit. The plump, stuffed item sat curled up in a corner underneath his school desk. As warm as it made him feel, that someone gave him something instead of taking things away, he scoffed at it. That girl was a noisy, nosy pain. She was lucky but next time, if she got too close again, he'd no doubt hurt her. That of which he was torn about. Boris said that kindness and caring was for the weak, and he'd show them that he wasn't weak.

 **The** hallway was clearing out, teens and staff saying their goodbyes and the younger leaving in their usual band of small groups.

Kai shut his locker, turning the combination lock on it until it clicked.

"Hello." Mariah said with a bright smile, her golden eyes gleaming with happiness.

Kai arched a brow at her. Were Max and her, along with the rest of the world, related?

"Hi?" The sophomore let out, his accent very prominent still.

She flashed him a bright smile and asked, "Um, you live with Max and his mom, right?"

Kai nodded, shifting the bulky, bulging backpack on his shoulders.

"Great! My ride home impatiently left me behind, would you mind walking me home, I live one house away from you, on the right side."

Kai licked his lips, and without looking at her, nodded. His stomach felt tight for some reason, flip flopping, like bugs were fluttering around in it. Now why was this happening?

 _Must be the lunch I ate._ Kai thought, feeling annoyed at himself. He just _knew_ that lukewarm bean burrito and sugary fruit salad would come back to haunt him.

He followed Mariah out into the parking lot. As the two walked he spied Max on the phone with his mom while he made his way home, some several feet in front of them.

"So?" Mariah started, the two walking slowly beside one another. "What's your name?"

She'd heard his name before, they shared gym class with Ray and Tyson and Algebra with Kenny and Max but she wanted to hear him say it. She'd never heard him speak it before.

Kai gave her a look, visually asking her if she was serious. She damn well knew his name because he damn well knew hers. They shared the same stuff two hours a day, and lunch.

He let out a breath, this was customary. Normal people did this everyday so he had to do it too. He knew some English now thanks to Max and the other adults. As well as his therapist and medical doctor, Dave Kusenagi, and his obnoxious daughter. Would she ever stop giving him those stuffed birds?

"Kai Hiwatari." He finally said.

Mariah glowed, that voice was smooth like butter.

"You?" Kai added, trying to show her how stupid this was.

"Mariah Wong." Though she didn't seem to care. "Ray is from the same village in China that I am. Both our parents left their home when we were babies and settled here. My mom says it was so we could have better opportunities and a more normal life. Not sure what Ray's parents think. Asked once, didn't get an answer."

She babbled it all off in rapid fire, unknowingly making Kai's head spin. This was too much at once.

"Uh, ok." Was all Kai said.

The two finally turned the corner that led into their street.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye." Mariah said as she veered off in the direction of her nice home, the cheerleader gleefully waving goodbye to him. "Thank you! See you on Monday, Kai!"

Kai fought the urge to flinch and cover his ears at the loudness, barely raising his non dominant hand above his chest to wave her off.

As Mariah stepped inside her home, and Kai up to his, he couldn't help but wonder why he didn't want that interaction to end. And to top it all, why did he feel so warm and airily happy all of the sudden? Why did he want to talk to her more?

 **One** Monday some weeks later, after school, Kai sat high up on the bleachers inside the gymnasium. He was waiting for Max to finish a test he was retaking.

Below, on the floor, were the Junior wrestling team and their coach, Mr. Granger, Tyson's father. From what he'd seen, the two weren't very close. Their relationship strained, with Tyson acting like he didn't exist. And he was on him all the time, berating and embarrassing him at any chance.

He watched as Ray tackled Johnny McGregor, putting him in a chokehold. The two were clearly giving it their all on the spongy, large dark blue mat. Their other teammates and the coach were watching nearby, he clearly not impressed.

"Ray, we both know you can do better." He called out, sounding condescending as always.

Kai observed as Johnny got the upper hand by flipping him forward, all of Ray's weight slamming loudly onto the mat.

Ray got up, rubbing his lower back, a grunt and a groan leaving his mouth.

"Great job, Ray. You'll get him next time." Came an encouraging Crusher, who's booming voice echoed throughout the room. He was a much taller teammate who seemed to be growing at Kai's rate. For a second Kai wondered if he'd seen him before, and then his bullet brain shifted to wondering if his joints hurt like his at times.

Crusher, who never openly said his last name, was a large man with a tribal tattoo on the right side of his face. He normally wore an orange hoodie with the yellow straps on the sleeves of the hoodie rolled up. Under that, he wore a teal tank top or a black teeshirt. Along with that he either wore beige cargo shorts or cargo pants and plain, white tennis shoes. While wrestling he wore white, fingerless gloves and the plain gym clothes the school provided.

Though he was intimidating, most called him a cotton candy stuffed grizzly bear because a simple interaction would forever change ones mind about him.

Johnny, who saw that Ray was grabbing his towel from his chair to dab off the sweat, he caught Ray's attention and raised a fist, hoping Ray would catch the hint and bump him back.

All this for Kai went in slow motion. Before he knew it, he'd blindly charged toward them in a rage.

Kai punched the Scotsman in the face without hesitation, his hard right sending the redhead swirling and slamming into the wall of other, closed, benches near them.

Before Kai could land another blow, Crusher stepped in between them, allowing Johnny to get to his feet and the coach to take him to the nurse.

"Move it, out of my way, fucker!" Kai spoke, absentmindedly speaking in Russian because he couldn't think of the correct words to say in English or Japanese.

Crusher exchanged confused glances with Ray, neither understanding the native language Kai spoke at times.

"I don't know what you're saying, but what you did wasn't needed. No one did anything wrong." Crusher said, hoping Kai would understand, pick up on what he meant.

Kai's scowl became deeper, his scarlet pools flaring with malicious intent. Didn't he see that Johnny was gonna hurt him? Ray was part of Max's friend group, and as the oldest of them, he had to do something. That was what he did, protected those that couldn't protect themselves or were in harm's way.

Ray's instincts picked up on this and stood in between the two with his arms spread out wide.

Ray, with his fangs visible and golden eyes slit like a feline's, warned, "Back off. Not the time or place."

Kai stepped up to him, unfazed, "I won't allow anyone to hurt you."

"Speak in English or Japanese, Kai." Ray tried, keeping himself calm.

Kai stepped back and shot him a nasty look that expressed his true intent, but he didn't dare say it. That would mean being forced to do something against his will and his already fragile mind couldn't bare that, not again.

While Kai went into the boys locker room, presumably to collect himself and cool off, Ray went back to Crusher who appeared more than just a little bewildered.

"What the hell was that?!" Crusher said, louder than he meant to.

Ray collected his things, seeing that practice was over, and then looked at Crusher out of the corner of his right eye, his long choppy bangs obscuring parts of his senior year friend. "I don't know, haven't known him very long. A few months maybe."

Crusher just shrugged at that and, after getting everyone else's things plus his, left for the nurse's office too.

Ray went to the locker room, still upset, but not as much. With his satchel hung on a single shoulder and gripping the strap with the connected hand, Ray spotted Kai stiffly sat, slouched over on a bench. One of the long ones out of sight from the doorless entrance.

Kai's pale, slender fingers were in his hair, bunching it up while his pointy elbows pressed painfully into his thighs. Skidding closer, Ray noticed some of Kai's fingers were holding fistfuls at the roots while others tugged at the oddly colored strands, no doubt causing him great pain.

"Hey, you okay?" Ray asked as he sat next to him, realizing something was off with him.

For a moment or more Kai said nothing, keeping his face hidden.

"Are you alright?" Ray tried again, speaking slower than usual.

"Don't tell him." Kai muttered in Russian, a rush of cold fright filling him.

Ray reached out to him, only to back away when Kai faced him, looking half-crazed and panicked.

"Don't tell him!" Kai shrieked in broken English, backing away a few steps.

"Don't tell who what?" Ray asked, kind of scared, not sure what to make of the typically emotionless man's crazed outburst.

Kai punched the wall of lockers, badly denting the one closest to him.

Ray ran off toward the Chemistry room to get Max and Dr. Zagart, not wanting to be left alone with his classmate anymore.

In minutes, Judy and Mr. Tate came running in with Max and Ray. The two adults made the teenagers stay outside of the locker room while they went on inside.

"Kai?" Mr. Tate softly began, his wife Judy a step behind him.

The bank teller slowly went up to the teenager he saw as his second son, and knelt at the left of him, Judy doing the same on the other side of the crumpled up mass in the corner.

"Kai? How was your day?" Mr. Tate tried, wanting him to talk.

The pair exchanged worried glances. The two noticed Kai's shoulders moving, and inched in to hold the quietly quivering boy close.

Max tapped Ray's shoulder, and pointed toward the open bleachers. Ray got the signal and followed him, peering back at the huddled ones as he stepped by, time slowing down for him.

That night, the family walked into their home, the latter still shaken from his mental ordeal.

Mr. Tate led Kai up the stairs, his burly arm supporting him at the back while Kai tearfully mumbled apologies over and over in Russian.

"Take it easy on Kai tonight. Just let him be." Judy asked, her eyes telling him that the conversation with the principal and the doctor appointment had both ended badly.

"Yes, ma'am." Max said, his heart breaking for everyone but mainly for Kai.

A heavy quiet filled the home, Max spotting his dad come down, looking forlorn and drained of joy.

"Dad?" Max said, hesitant to speak. He gulped, nervous.

"We're going to send Kai back. He'll be living with Mr. Dickenson again, starting tomorrow."

"No!" Max screamed, surprised at himself. Tears blurred his vision and he felt his world crumbling.

"Dad, please, you can't do that." He choked out.

Mr. Tate walked about the living room picking up random trash.

"I don't wanna be alone anymore." Max sobbed out, breaking his father's heart and most-likely his mom's too, who was in the adjacent kitchen.

"I know you want a sibling, Max, and you'll still see Kai, he'll just be monitored by a cop and living where he won't harm anyone, or you." Mr. Tate told him frankly, his voice uncharacteristically firm.

Max ran upstairs, and in his rush tripped over his own two feet. His dad rushed to help him up but Max brushed him off, acting like he wasn't even there.

Max pushed open the door to his older brother's room, not caring to knock, something his parents and even Kai disapproved of, but he'd make an exception here.

Without a word, and ignoring the open suitcase and duffle bag on his bed, Max rushed to hug him.

As always, Kai fought the urge to shove him off. This was the last thing he needed right now but then he remembered that he could take things slow, so he let the boy two-years his junior have his huggy way.

"Max-" Kai said after a bit, Max's sobs still consuming his hearing, ultimately crowding his senses.

Minutes passed before Kai finally found the strength to hug him back, somehow holding him just as tightly as Max was him.

With tears stinging his eyes, trickling over the edges, he said, "How? With all the goings on, how can you hold me like nothing has happened?"

Max gave him a loud sniffle, letting his hug tell him he wasn't the monster he assumed all thought he was. "Because you're not a bad person. You're a good person who bad things have happened to."

Kai was left tongue tied, his aching heart breaking as he sobbed with him, neither letting their brother go.

The following afternoon, Kai sat in the gymnasium again. This time he was waiting on Max to get out of swimming practice. While sitting in his usual spot atop the bleachers, Ray approached him.

"Hey." The Chinese man said, his tone kind as always.

Kai looked up from his hands in his lap and at him. "What? Come for payback?"

"No." Ray said. "I wanted to check on you. Make sure you were alright. Johnny's pissed at you but he's pissed at everything. We'll do our best to keep him away."

"I'm fine." Kai said, his voice dull as if he were bored.

"You sure? Max said you've had a rough life."

Kai shrugged, "So what, it happens."

"Kai, most people don't do what you did unless it's been really bad. I'm here to help if you need anything."

Kai modded, "Ok."

Ray got up, and as Kai watched him step down the bleachers his eyes caught something laying at his hips. Kai picked the book up and stomped up to him.

"Ray!" He barked, louder than he meant to.

Ray turned around, jumping a bit, now standing halfway between the floor and where he was. Why was Kai talking like a military man, like his father?

Mr. Kon was an ironfisted traditionalist in his rules and ideals. His mother, not so much, she was more modern and sensible, super sweet. But Ray still had little to no control over his life. Thanks to his mother, he had a good outlet though, the wrestling team. No one knew it, but they only moved here because Mariah's family had. His father liked to keep up appearances and with anyone who had more than he did.

"Yeah?" Ray asked, a tad nervous.

"You dropped this." Kai held out the book, and Ray looked to inspect it.

"Thank you, but it's not mine. It's Johnny's. He must've left it after the Meet. He lost it yesterday. I'll get it back to him." Ray said, tucking it underneath his arm.

"Well that's nice of you." Kai said, clapping his hands free of something, his tone much quieter.

"Yeah, it's what I'm known for." Ray gave him another smile, "See ya."

Kai nodded back, then he went to sit back where he was.

Ray went to join his friends, and while scratching his nose, he felt something powdery go up in it. This caused him to sniffle and cough. Figuring it to be allergies, because of pollen, he just ignored it. But why was his nose burning?

 **Amidst** the noisy crowd of the school's Juniors and Seniors, Kai stood behind the long buffet table, far from wanting to socialize. Being a Junior here was still odd, but things were gradually getting better for him.

"Hey, Kai, what are you doing here?" Mariah said as she approached him, her stunning beauty sticking out more than usual to him.

Thank goodness the camera was turned off. No way was he going to let anyone see him like this.

"Hey, Mariah." He let out after a bit of silence, his tongue tied. Though he hid it well.

"You look nice." Mariah complimented, the multicolored, halo like lights behind her making her look angelic.

Kai cleared his suddenly dry throat, "Thanks. You too, very lovely."

"Thank youuuu." The pinkette sang, and then calmly added, "Have you seen Ray?"

Kai didn't have time to answer before she was looking around for him. Soon Kai spotted him, his heart breaking for hers as he noticed her eyes following his.

Within the lights and balloons, Ray was happily dancing with Julia Fernandez. She was a member of the cheerleading squad just like Mariah. The two got along just fine but the long haired beauty didn't talk much, usually seen fussing over her two-tone tresses.

As a slow song came on, is guitar rhythmic and deep, Ray twirled her around with a big smile, her dainty hand wrapped around his finger. Who knew a wrestler could be so gentle? As she spun, her knee-length rose red dress swirled up and out, and then down again.

Fall orange and chocolate brown hair with smooth, light tan skin, and emerald green eyes. That made for a lovely combination. Maybe it was just a casual thing, just friends being friends? Maybe, like her she'd come alone, no date and he was keeping her company?

 _What day is it? And in what month?_

 _This clock never seemed so alive_

 _I can't keep up and I can't back down_

 _I've been losing, so much time..._

Kai extended his hand to her, her eyes meeting his. Then he asked, "Would you care to dance?"

Mariah bashfully took his hand, it feeling warm, and watched as he went out from around the table, the two stepping closer to each other, their eyes locked together.

Slowly, Kai turned them, his hands holding hers. Mariah awkwardly went with him, the meld of dim lighting and shadows concealing them.

 _'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do_

 _Nothing to lose_

 _And it's you and me and all of the people_

 _And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you_

Kai let the music carry them, the lyrics speak for him. He felt at ease, on top of the world, truly himself. Like there was no one in the room but them, and it was nice. So so nice. Was this what most called 'being happy'? If so, he could live with it.

 _All of the things that I want to say they just aren't coming out right_

 _I'm tripping on words_

 _You've got my head spinning_

 _I don't know where to go from here_

 _'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do_

 _Nothing to prove_

 _And it's you and me and all of the people_

 _And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you_

 _There's something about you now_

 _I can't quite figure out_

 _Everything she does is beautiful_

 _Everything she does is right_

 _'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do_

 _Nothing to lose_

 _And it's you and me and all of the people_

 _And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you_

 _And me and all of the people with nothing to do_

 _Nothing to prove_

 _And it's you and me and all of the people_

 _And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you_

At the splendid sounds of the violin, Mariah laid her head on Kai's chest, her kitten heels making it impossible so reach his shoulders. Was this supposed to mean something? If so, then what? Did Kai secretly like her or something?

 _What day is it? And in what month?_

 _This clock never seemed so alive..._

Finishing up the spin with a step, Kai stopped them, his eyes saying all he refused to, silently answering his school mate's unasked questions.

 **A** week after the dance while walking her home from school, Mariah kept looking at the ground. Though them walking together was routine now, _this_ wasn't. Kai gave her a confused look. Why was she watching her shoes?

"... Are you okay?" He asked after some minutes of watching, unsure of what else to do, Boris's sickly lies screaming at him to do anything other than what he currently was. Though he wasn't there as much Judy had rubbed off on him, Max too.

Mariah looked at him, her mind racing. With swift lips she said, "Ray asked me out."

Kai blinked a couple of times, letting his brain play catch up. "Asked you out?"

Mariah's eyes shifted uncomfortably from side to side, her cheeks becoming warm. "Um, he wants me to be his girlfriend, possibly."

"Ah. So, he likes you, as more than a friend?"

Mariah nodded, smiling to herself. "Mhmm... I like him too."

Kai let it go verbally, but on the inside he felt like he'd been crushed. Did their dance mean nothing to her then?

While fighting back tears his insides twisted with pain and his heart shattered, beyond repair it seemed. Boris's voice screamed at him more, relentlessly telling him that he'd told him so. But deep down, Kai still hoped the best for her, both of them.

 **The** summer before their last year was a happy one, and Kai saw them openly expressing their feelings for each other many times, the sheer sight making him physically sick and angry. In times like that Max came to his aid, both distracting and consoling him in his own goofy, but endearing ways.

Senior year itself, however, became a tumultuous mess, with Ray and Mariah arguing and breaking up a lot because of _their_ friendship. Kai was there to comfort and encourage her when he could be but Mariah steadily quit talking to him. In between school and doctor's appointments though, Kai soon became too busy to focus on her and the stressful, all-aspect draining drama.

 **Kai** sat up in his small apartment on the second floor, in the computer chair next to his desk. He reread over some pamphlets Doctor Kusenagi had given him earlier. _Anger Management & You_, _Living With PTSD_ , and _Anxiety: The Silent Killer_ being just a few of them.

While he stewed over the day's session, there was a knock at his door. With a groan Kai got up to answer it. Disgruntled at the thought of visitors, he plopped the pamphlets onto his desk a lot harder than he needed to.

Kai opened the door to see the mail on his doormat. Seeing more bills, he picked the pile up and placed it on his nightstand for later. Then he locked the place up and went for a long walk.

While walking the path to the store he saw a crying and bruised up Mariah sitting on the curb by the road. He wordlessly went up to her and sat silently beside her; the two idle for a minute or two.

"What happened." Kai started, his voice colder than she remembered. At first she wasn't sure how to take it, but then she deflated, her rounded, tiny shoulders slowly inching away from her elvish ears.

"Ray assaulted me." She shakily said, trembling uncontrollably.

Kai's eyes went wide as he watched her cry. For a moment he was unsure of what to do, going stiff like a statue, but then he thought of what Judy said to him at times. She'd said it was alright to take things slow, as long as you showed you were there for them at the end of the day.

Mariah lifted her face to him. She didn't care how she looked, this was a rough time. "I don't understand. He has a sporadic temper but he's never laid a had on me until-"

"Halfway through last year?" Kai assumed.

"Yeah. He apologized a lot and I believed him. I went back to him again and again. But this was worse and I'm not sure what to do now." Mariah said, sniffling afterward.

Kai inched closer, careful not to scare her. He wanted so bad to say leave him, but she'd said before it wasn't his place to so he stopped speaking up.

"He was a wrestler so maybe he's on something. Johnny tried to offer me crack cocaine the year before so it's possible he's on that."

Mariah shook her head, "But that wouldn't make Ray lash out like that. He's too levelheaded, a peacekeeper."

Kai gave her a stern look, one a parent would give a child, "That's because his inhibitions are usually up. Crack cocaine is a stimulant, your inhibitions fall. You'd be surprised what drugs can do to the mind, how much they can shatter you into someone new. A reflection even you yourself don't recognize."

Mariah laughed, part of her not believing him, "Pffft, I'm sorry, but how do know?"

"I just do." Kai uttered somberly as he scooted away.

"Come on, you're an eventually found orphan right? You ain't been through that much."

All he did was glare at her, telling her, in a nice but still menacing way, to zip it, that she didn't know shit. He was completely done with this back-and-forth mess. It had been this way with them since Ray had gotten with her. Talking to him clearly caused problems between them, Ray probably being the jealous type, and Kai was beyond fed up with it. Either they talked or they didn't. Either they were friends or they weren't. She had to decide sometime, because clearly she couldn't have both.

"Well, it's in the past. Move on already." Mariah said, waving him off after a bit.

If only it was that easy for him. Nothing ever came easy to him...

 _It must be bliss to be so ignorant._ Kai thought.

Kai's scowl became harsher, realization setting in. Ray had influenced her more than she knew. In a roundabout way, she'd changed.

Without a word Kai got up and went inside the store that stood off to one side behind them.

Mariah watched him go in, her gaze following him. Whatever he was doing, Mariah knew not to follow. Following him right now would probably be bad. Great, she'd pissed him off. Oh well, what else was new with him? Thinking back on it, he always seemed mad. His moodiness was really ridiculous at times.

Minutes later, Kai came back out carrying four bags on each arm. Despite all going on, he couldn't stop himself.

"You hungry?" Kai asked, briefly curling the bags up for her to see.

"Um, sure." She could still trust him right? Right.

The two walked back to Kai's place, Mariah helping him carry a few bags. Though he insisted against it, it was only fair.

"Oh my gosh!" Mariah said with a smile, walking inside the apartment behind Kai.

"What?" He asked as he craned his neck to look back at her, standing halfway between her and the kitchen.

"You have a collection?"

Kai felt his face heat up so he went into the kitchen to unload his arms.

"They're so cute!"

Kai rolled his eyes as he unpacked the milk. Thank God he'd given her the snacks!

"Where did you get them? I put the treats on your bed." Mariah said in two parts as she skipped into the entryway, Kai's back to her.

"Thanks. Someone at the hospital gave them to me. Not sure what they are or what they mean. I've just gotten one every time I go there."

Mariah gripped onto either side of the entrance. Standing there, watching him work, she said, "That fire bird flock is full of what's called a phoenix. It's a mythical, meaning made up, creature that burns when it's time to die but then it's reborn in its own ashes. Maybe the staff associate them with you? Lots of people seem to think of themselves that way too though. So it's not very unique but what do I know?"

"Ah. Cool." Kai said, indifferent to it. Yet, on the inside he found it interesting. What else could he learn about them?

While Kai put the rest of the food away, Mariah took a look around. The place was plain but still clean. How long had he been living on his own? It couldn't have been too long, he was only eighteen. His bed was neatly made. Most boys she knew were dirty and messy but Kai wasn't. He always made sure he was clean and smelled nice, or had on clean clothes. She'd almost consider him a neat freak if it weren't for his hair. That mop top was crazy. It looked like he had bedhead 24/7.

Glancing over the organized computer desk, Mariah eyed the pamphlets and her face saddened. Maybe he had been through more than most. Maybe he wasn't normal. Maybe he had a harder time fitting in than she initially thought. PTSD, anxiety, anger management, and a book on dealing with depression? Just what was all this for? Exactly what kind of issues did Kai have?

"Damnit!"

Mariah whipped around at his voice, scared.

Kai walked up to her, his lone set of keys back in his fist, "I forgot some potatoes. Wanna walk back with me? Let's get some drinks first."

"... Sure." Mariah said, flashing him a smile. Okay, so he didn't notice. That was a relief.

Within an hour the two had made their way back, the potatoes forgotten, Mariah helping a battered Kai back inside.

"It's okay, you're okay." Mariah said, his left arm over her shoulders.

It took all Kai had to let her touch him, take him off from the pool of knocked out young adults. He hated to say it, but he was lucky this time. Hopefully they wouldn't run into them again anytime soon. When the hell had they gotten so strong, moreover, when had he gotten so weak? Had Boris been right all along?

He recorded his video for Mr. Dickenson and signed off like always, Mariah by his side. He laid back down, Mariah stating that she had to go to the bathroom.

While that voice kept running through his head, he felt the room go cold. He felt small again, and like he was back in Russia underneath that horrid, greedy gaze.

When he finally came to, Mariah had taken his shoes and socks off, and they were most likely on the floor beside him.

Smelling something from the kitchen Kai got up to investigate.

"What are you-" Kai was cut off by the sight he saw. Mariah was cooking dinner.

Kai panicked, snatching the pan more harshly than he meant to.

"What the hell, Kai?!" Mariah shrieked angrily, watching as Kai dumped the stew she was making down the drain.

He flipped on the garbage disposal a second later, and let it obliterate it until nothing was left.

Mariah folded her arms over her decently sized chest and waited for him to explain himself while she fired her own daggers at him. I.e, her now slit cat eyes.

"What the hell was all that about?" Ok, forget waiting, she was beyond pissed.

"Don't ever touch my food or drinks, got it." Was all Kai shouted, feeling short of breath and suddenly tired and tight chested. "From now on, let me fix things unless they're strictly for you. Am I clear?!"

Mariah shakily nodded, fighting the urge to cry, "Ok, sh- sure."

 **The** night air was calm and slightly cool, and things were going well for the two despite some hiccups here and there.

Around midnight, Kai blinked, coming down from his out of body traumatic trance. (It had morphed at some point while they were watching a movie, Mariah laying in bed next to him.) He heard the loud sounds of retching and sobbing in his bathroom, it seeming further away than usual. Mariah hadn't been living with him long, a week at most.

Laying on his left side, his back to the bathroom door, Kai's gaze drifted to the right, in the direction behind him. He waited, wondering if he would hear it again. If he did he would get out of bed and check on her. He knew from experience that sometimes puking signaled the start of feeling better but more than that wasn't a good sign. Moments later, he rolled over and walked steadily towards the tiny, cornered room.

Tapping his loosely fisted knuckles on the old door, he said, "Mariah?"

There was a flush on the other side, followed by some silence, and the squeaking of his knob. Meaning she had locked the door.

His impatience rose so Kai took a deep breath. Nope, didn't work. What was taking her so long? Where was his answer?

Kai knocked again, this time louder and harder. "Hurry up."

The door opened slowly, the yellow beam from the lightbulbs turning into a stream of light and becoming brighter.

Mariah sorrowfully peered up at him as if she'd been caught doing something illegal. But besides puking, what had she been doing? Oh yeah, she'd been hiding a secret from him. From the man she used to tell everything to. It was a secret she tried to bury deep within the recesses of her mind, a possibility she tried to forget about. If she pushed it aside and focused on the happy things then maybe she could pretend it never happened and not have to face the encroaching tsunami. The reality she dreaded was beyond words, but deep down she knew it to be true.

"I'm pregnant." She mumbled lowly.

She didn't want to admit it to herself. If she said it it was true, and she _really_ didn't want it to be. She didn't want her life to be like this. This wasn't what she wanted. This wasn't happening to her, it couldn't be. She was the perfect girl who followed the rules no matter how much pressure she was feeling on the inside, and her boyfriend was a good man. He treated her well. Anything that happened to her was her fault, not his. He was an honest, attentive man and he had said he loved her so it was true, right? This was no different. If she smiled it wasn't real, It would just go away like all the other pains and problems, _it wasn't real_.

Kai quietly observed as she crumbled underneath the heavy weight of the mental anguish. With a slow, gentle gesture, Kai urged her to him. She practically collapsed into him, sobbing her broken heart out.

Kai let her cry for several minutes before his brain pushed that he needed to say something.

Wrapping his superhero arms around her and holding her close, their body heat warming them both up, he whispered, "Don't worry, you're in good in hands."

That was it, he'd verbally made his ever-there promise known, and he was bound and determined to keep it... Even at the cost of his own life. Yes, she meant that much to him. And subsequently, the unborn baby did too.

Mariah said nothing, but she didn't have to. Her louder cries spoke volumes to him.

 **Kai's** eyes snapped open to the repetitive sound of beeping heart monitors and the feeling of sticky pads on his bare chest.

Realizing where he was he rolled over to one side, and saw someone familiar jotting down stuff on her clipboard.

"How did I get here?" Kai said, his voice sounding like he drowned in cheese graters.

Saori Kusenagi was a curvaceous and busty, golden blonde haired woman with bright, green eyes. Her skin was pale like Kai's and she often wore her hair up in a neat bun while working. Otherwise, she kept in down, sporting a bejeweled, white headband and instead of scrubs she wore sporty casual clothing that showed off her figure.

She lowered pen and from her seat beside the bed, gave him a big, relief filled smile.

"Welcome back." Remembering his question, she jokingly added, "The Grim Reaper dropped you off, said you were being too feisty, not listening to him. So father stitched you back up again."

Kai blinked a little, not finding her humor in this moment amusing. Not when he hurt in places he didn't even think he could hurt in, and not when he couldn't remember what even led him to be hurting like he was.

"Where is he?" He questioned, choosing to ignore her joke.

Saori pointed at the door with her thumb, "The Grim Reaper or dad?"

Kai's eyes narrowed at her. If it didn't hurt so damn much or all the wires sticking to him he'd just get up and storm out.

"Your _dad_." He responded with a bite.

Saori's face softened into a warm one, her face conveying that she was sorry and just trying to liven up the place.

"He's with another patient at the moment. Gun shot victim." Her face soured, "He's in critical condition I'm afraid so it'll be a bit before you can see him."

Saori reached out to place her hand in his, but Kai visibly inched it away, flinching. She woefully retracted her hand, placing it on top of the clipboard in her lap next to the other one. Right, no sudden movements, give him space, time. How could she forget?

"Kai?" She began, scared to speak but worried to death about him. "What happened? I found you outside the the convenience store last night. You were bleeding, what'd Ray Kon or his goons hit you with this time?"

She wanted to hug him, hold him tightly and say that it would all be fine. But with a man like him, things seemed to never be _fine_ for long. He was there so often the hospital must've seemed like a second home to him, unintentionally of course.

Kai's eyes opened wide, and he wanted to scoff at himself. Of course it had been Kon, again. Such a shame he couldn't remember anything though.

"Dunno. Something hard apparently given how much my head hurts." He grunted and shifted in the bed.

"Careful of the leads, don't tear them."

Ray Kon seemed to be a thorn in Kai's side for whatever reason. They scrapped a lot more than most.

"On a lighter note..." Saori said, another bright smile creasing her elegant, model-esque features. "I'm one semester away from getting my psychology license. Who knows, maybe you'll become my first patient. Then we'll see each other everyday."

She sounded more excited than usual about that, oops. Her face went hot and she bashfully looked at the floor. Crap, she'd said too much.

"Lucky me." Kai rolled his tired eyes as he puffed out a breath, "But congrats. I guess."

Saori's mood shifted, zeroing in on the intense pain Kai felt. She looked at him again, her expression more calm and comforting.

"I'm sorry..."

"For what? You didn't do this." He scoffed and finally had the strength to push himself to actually sit up, the pain in his head flaring and running down his back in waves until he was settled. It still lingering as a dull throb.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, nor should you concern yourself with what goes on between me and Ray." He grumbled, "I don't need more people pulled into it."

"Right... I understand, but you have nothing to feel bad about either. I may not know the whole story but something tells me you're abusively beating yourself up. And like always it's probably over something out of your control."

Saori sat at his feet on the edge of the bed, her eyes locked onto his dreamy face.

Kai rolled his eyes again at her, "Then why bother butting in if you don't know the story? I don't get in your business, so stay out of mine!"

Saori visibly jumped at his raging scream, her eyes wide with fear. She could see in his eyes that he didn't mean to raise his voice, scream at her as if he was threatening to attack her, but he had.

Saori hung her head low and went to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" Kai barked out unintentionally. He meant something else entirely but it came out completely wrong. He was so riled up at everything and trying to recollect the things he couldn't remember that he fired off.

No, he didn't like her always poking her nose in his business, but it was his fault he guessed. He kept winding up here to start with.

Saori turned back to him, trying to hide her emotions, halfway between him and the door.

"You seriously need to rethink quitting therapy." She said, walking back over to him.

Kai arched a brow in confusion, what therapy? Was this another one of her jokes because this time it went over his head.

"And you should probably stop popping pills that belong to your patients." He quipped back, not much of a jokester really. But he could learn, right?

Saori feigned a remorseful expression, "Aw, and here I thought I was being slick."

She ran up to him and put her wrists out and head down, "You caught me, officer dick!"

Kai snorted and looked away, "Sorry, I don't take prisoners." He grinned.

Saori stood tall with that same cheerful disposition. "Too late, you've already captured me."

Kai arched a brow, his head lulling back around to look at her. Waiting for her to explain what she'd said, all the while he felt something shifting in the air around them. Something that he didn't quite like.

Saori's face went steaming hot at the realization. Had she really just said that, flirted with him? He was her father's patient, not a school mate. This wasn't good, was it? They were both adults though. Could she do this? Would she go to jail for this, be robbed of her license? The possibilities were endless.

While her heart relentlessly pounded and mind rambled off, she caught sight of him. No, he was staring at her!

"Um, I'm sorry. I stepped out of line." She bashfully said, unsure of how to feel about anything at the moment.

"Well seeing as how I've had a few good knocks to the head, why don't you explain what you meant?"

Saori's heart went faster, her mind stopping it's runaround.

"Um... It means that I'm your friend... I care for you."

She paused, taking her seat beside the bed, the spot she'd secretly been in since the very beginning.

She looked down at her lap, half of her feeling shy while the other felt heartbroken.

Looking at him with a slight blush on her hopeful gaze, she finally said, "So, let me take care of you."

Kai's own heart went a bit faster, shifting on the bed again, a bit uncomfortably, as he let her words sink in around them.

He wasn't one for letting others care for him he always took care of himself unless he was physically unable to. He didn't like relying on others because all they did was disappoint in the end. He was, and always would be, better off on his own.

But...

"If you feel so inclined, I guess." He said in a softer tone than the one he'd been using with her since he woke up.

He didn't care much to see her looking so down, not when she had just been doing her job. Flawlessly at that too, while he'd always made it more difficult than it needed to be.

"And... I'm..." He shifted around harder, unable to bring himself to finish the apology.

Saori's breath caught in her throat. Was he about to apologize?

The air around Kai grew lighter and warmer, and yet it was still comfortable. Had his barriers finally began to crumble?

Saori got up from the chair, stood halfway between it and him. With a sincere and kind smile she said, "You're in good hands."

Kai gave a quick, almost jerking, nod back, "Thanks..."

In the next few days Kai was released, though he was torn the notion of being set free. Was he free? He used to look forward to it, but now, knowing he was going home to nothing but silence after weeks of compassionate company, this left him feeling defeated, lost. This was all his fault. If he hadn't of took her with him to the store... If he had been more visualant and not been knocked out, then maybe Ray wouldn't have succeeded.

Maybe...

 **Within** the coming year things began to change, drastically. Because of the further mental anguish of breaking his promise, and blaming himself, Kai needed more appointments. Due to being too busy, he saw his original doctor less and less and Saori more and more. He was reluctant to at first but he steadily opened up to her. Within the first few sessions he realized he did still need stuff like this. But in the back of his mind, he wondered if it was the help he so desperately yearned for, or just her. He didn't want to admit it but his heart was shifting and he was feeling for someone else. Someone he'd found a nuisance but had tolerated over the years, had slowly turned into someone he looked forward to seeing. He was beginning to feel about her, around her, how he had with Mariah. And although it was unexpected as always, it was a mix of nerve-racking and very nice. With each passing day the feelings he had for her grew stronger. Eventually, he couldn't hold them back anymore... So, he went for it via a small note after a particularly hard day.

He worked with Mr. Dickenson, being his assistant at his knickknacks store. Like years before, he'd strategically wore makeup, which was started courtesy of Judy, but it only covered up so much so he still kept his distance when he could.

 **Saori** walked into Kai's apartment, wondering why she'd been told to come over. She was reluctant to after being stood up, but maybe there was an apology in the works? Kai was definitely the king of, sometimes odd, spontaneous ideas.

The moment she opened the door, Saori saw a slew of lit candles. Specifically one on the night stand by the door, two tall ones on the square coffee table, and a set of four, or maybe six, placed high on the bookshelf.

"Kai?" She called out, fighting the blush that wanted to rise to the surface of her elegant features.

As the faint smell of lavender hit her nose, she heard the soft picks and strums of a distant guitar.

Kai stepped out from the shadows of his kitchen, the epicenter of the music behind him.

 _..._

 _Maybe I need you,_

"Sorry I missed our date."

 _Here in this hotel room,_

 _Thinkin' 'bout angels,_

Saori smiled at him, trying to hide how she felt, "You don't need to worry about me, Kai. If anybody understands urgent, uh, _things_ , it's me."

 _Thinkin' 'bout what they do,_

Kai took some steps closer, his pace somewhat hesitant, but stable. He said. "I'm not worried about you." He paused, stopping his stride, now stood less than half a foot away from his company. "I missed you."

 _Maybe they'll fly you,_

 _Bring you right here to me,_

 _Cover the miles,_

The shocked expression she wore must've been priceless because, for once, she was speechless.

"Oh, well, I-" Saori shyly gestured around the two of them with her hands, "I don't know, neither of us is primed for dancing and speaking strictly _as friends_ , I don't know if this is such a good idea."

Kai gave her a light smile, a subtle pleading in his eyes. With that combination, he came across as more seductive than wishful. "Saori... Get over here."

 _Heaven knows what I need,_

Saori continued to gesture, mainly to the candles, "I'm not sure how we're going to make this work without knocking stuff over. I don't, want to set your place on fire."

 _Baby I need you..._

Kai gave her a smirk, his eyes playful, "Saori-"

Her face and eyes spoke streams of awkward apologies, sheepishness.

With an embarrassed smile she said, lacing her arms around his neck, "Shut up?"

Kai subtly nodded a yeah, fighting the urge to chuckle. She was so cute when like this.

"Right, shut up."

With both moving to take a step, meet in the middle, Saori's high heels inevitably kicked Kai's steal-toed boots and vice versa.

"Ow!" She grunted.

"Sorry." Kai said sheepishly, regret noticeable.

"I, uh, heh-" Kai babbled.

"Look, I'm the one who put my feet under yours. So it's fine." Saori cleared her suddenly dry throat.

 _..._

 _Maybe_ _I need you,_

"Let's just try this." Kai encouraged, taking his place again.

Kai watched as she placed her arms around his neck again and stood on his feet, their happy eyes and varyingly happy faces locking onto one another, time stopping.

 _Here in this time so sweet,_

 _Everything quiet,_

 _Everyone gone to sleep,_

 _Thinkin' 'bout Elvis,_

 _How he made Momma cry,_

 _Elvis finds Jesus,_

 _Makin' her feel alright,_

As Kai moved them around in a small circle, he leaned closer. And as if he were telling a long-guarded secret, he sweetly whispered out, "... I love you."

 _Baby I need you..._

"I love you too." Saori said, glowing as she grinned from ear-to-ear, silently telling him that she'd been waiting to hear this for years. Her eyes happily asking, what took you so long?

 _..._

 _Maybe I need you,_

 _Here in this world on fire,_

Kai smiled brightly back, his eyes momentarily moving to the floor because his heated blush but then back to hers again. This euphoric feeling was evident all throughout him, he couldn't stop it, but he didn't want to.

 _Everything moving,_

 _Everyone always tired,_

Saori laid her head on his strong shoulders, eyes closed, just above his chest. "Kai, there's something we need to talk about."

Kai's eyes opened at the notion of there being a problem then he relaxed slightly and whispered, "Just for now... Can we leave tomorrow 'til tomorrow, and just have this?"

"... Mhmm." Saori hummed out, almost sleepily. She felt like she was in one of her dreams. This moment was beyond wonderful, it's splendor unparalleled.

Kai smiled down at her and then closed his eyes again, thankfully content, the world fading away as he relaxed further into her light caress.

 _Thinkin' of futures,_

 _Everything falls away,_

He wasn't sure how Saori felt, though most likely the same, but Kai felt like he was floating. She made him feel like he was flying high above the clouds as he moved them around.

 _Everything changes,_

 _Nothing has changed today,_

 _... Baby I, need you._

The soft guitar music ended with one steadily declining strum, but neither heard it, both dreamily smiling while lost in one another, in their haven.

 **Kai** , now married and pushing thirty-six, sat in the tiny, one bedroom home he shared with Saori. They'd been living together for years and were steadily edging toward decade number two. They'd been together fifteen-and-a-half years exactly, their sixteenth anniversary being in late June.

Saori, stumbling in from a strenuous day, dropped her tiny purse and two briefcases by the door.

Kai peered up from his spot on the couch, still wearing his dark red apron and casual clothes from work.

"Hey. How was the staff meeting?" Kai asked, his tone still flat, but the emotion can still be hard.

Nowadays he was better at conveying how he felt. Whether it be verbally or nonverbally. But he was still subtle and somewhat distant and he thought that was something that would never change.

"The meeting went well. I, uh, it was just hard to stay awake, as usual." Saori said, becoming completely breathless as she removed her thin sweater, nude pantyhose, and white, high heeled shoes.

"Woo, I'm beat." Saori said, wiping the sweat off her forehead.

Kai watched her silently, his aura a mix of concerned and annoyed. This certainly wasn't normal.

"As fit as you are, you shouldn't be tired from getting undressed."

"I've had a long day, Kai. Don't be like that with me."

Kai pushed himself from the couch, his build imposing as always. And yet somehow subtly alluring.

"... Saori." Kai said, his voice hinting that he wanted something.

"Yes?"

Kai sent her a look with his eyes that was nicely commanding her to come closer.

Saori got it and in milliseconds was doing as he asked. Even after all these years, he still held a hypnotic spell over her. While she kept him in line there were ways he could keep her level and this was one of those times. He knew how to handle her too.

Saori leaned into his chest, his arms going around her, keeping her to him. Yeah, like she wanted to leave. These arms were godly, at least to her.

Kai effortlessly scooped her into his arms and placed her on the couch, a cushy throw pillow beneath her head.

"I think you should rest."

"I can't, a doctor's work is never done. Remember?"

"I remember." Kai shot her a stern glare and went to make dinner.

"Kai?" Saori said after a bit, some hesitance to her tone.

Saori gave him a thankful smile and then curdled up to sleep.

About twenty minutes later Kai heard Saori head upstairs but he didn't follow her, boiling potatoes being the main reason why.

Minutes later he heard running down the steps and, happy screaming? What the hell was that all about?

"I'm pregnant!" Saori yelled, ecstatic as she raced into the kitchen, every inch of her glowing with pride and joy.

Kai acknowledged her and then went back to his pot of potatoes, plucking them out onto a large plate with a fork.

Saori approached him and cautiously repeated, "Kai, Honey, I'm pregnant."

"I know." Kai said after a bit, placing the last potato on the plate.

Saori's gaze lowered, her heart sinking. This was _not_ how this was supposed to go. Looking back up at him she fought back tears as she said, "Don't you get it? You're going to be a father. We're starting a family."

"Yeah, I know what that means." Kai said, again not looking at her, choosing to dump the pot of water in the sink instead.

"If you do then why aren't you saying something? At least let me know how you feel."

Kai looked her blankly, handed her a plate and then walked out the backdoor, putting a cigarette in his mouth as he did so.

The moment he stepped outside, Kai fell back into one of the lawn chairs, an ashtray on the table next to him. As he lit the stick between his lips, shame overtook him. He knew he'd made her cry, and Saori wasn't much of a crier nowadays, hadn't been for years. She'd been his backbone, but now he was sure he'd broke her. Taking a long drag, Kai contemplated going back inside but decided against it. He'd come out here to cool off. If he went back in now, his instincts would most likely cause more harm than good. Again, his mind and heart were at war. All-in-all both sides conveyed one thing... He was angry because he was scared. Angry at himself for being scared and acting the way he did but he didn't know how to say these feelings, not yet. He needed some air. Hopefully, his wife understood.

Saori watched him go, her heart breaking into a million pieces as she sat at the table, sobbing her eyes out, the positive pregnancy test on table. He was _that_ angry with her, enough to smoke? Was he going to drink too? She thought he'd be happy. He was really good with the kids at the hospital, a natural, so why was this so different? Did he not want to be a father? As well as she knew his head, had she ultimately read him wrong?

Some hours later, the sun having completely set, Saori stepped outside, the nice, late Spring breeze hitting her immediately while the door shut behind her.

Kai stayed where he was, unmoving, sucking down on the cigarette like she wasn't there as the wind carried the smoke with it.

His head was too loud and messed up that right now he couldn't even find the right words to say to her; what could be said right now about the news or his behavior?

Saori watched him, unsure of what to do too, but unlike him, she was going to make a move.

"Hey, honey. Do you need anything?" She tried, sitting in the lawn chair next to him, still anxious of his reactions. Honestly, she was back to how she felt when they'd first met and some years on.

All Kai did in response was shake his head. He didn't really need anything she could give him, seeing as how it was just the noise in his head that had to go away.

Saori shrank away, again feeling small and helpless, like a child. Crumpling her white skirt in her manicured hands, she peered at her lap briefly, feeling as though she'd failed him in some way, in a lot of ways really. She was his wife, she should know all his needs and wants almost instinctually, but Kai was complex on so many levels, nothing was easy when it came to him. You never knew what to expect from someone such as him. Still, she wouldn't give up on him. She was more than just his wife, she was also his official therapist. Seeing as her father was now retired.

Saori relaxed, letting the breeze carry her woes away. She leaned forward and cupped Kai's cheek, making him face her.

"Kai, talk to me." She said, her eyes pleading.

With his eyes not tearing away from hers, his stomach beginning to twist uncomfortably he swallowed the bile steadily rising in his throat.

"I'm scared..." He whispered out to her, not daring to speak louder for fear his voice would break.

Saori spared him her signature kind smile before pulling away, the smile fading. "Why?" She'd given him time, breathing room. Hopefully it had paid off.

"I..." He wasn't even one hundred percent sure why.

What was there that was so terrifying of having a baby? The sleepless nights, the crying without knowing what was wrong with them? The doctor appointments that never seemed to end, or was it that once they were out and about, there wasn't a damn thing he could do to protect them from the rest of the cruel world?

He shivered at all that plagued his head, and that wasn't even the entire list! There was still college, and dating, and driving and all the other things that ranged from choking on food and learning to swim or drowning if they weren't being watched!

"I can't. I can't do it. How do you just become a father?! I don't know what to do!" He finally spewed out, looking paler than usual and beyond horrified.

Saori took his hand, keeping herself and it in plain view like always. "No one knows what to do. Mothers included. Parenting is trial and error. What matters most is how you love them. Showing them you love them unconditionally." She squeezed his fingers, "Like Max and his mom did for you."

Kai shook his head, eyes going down and refused to look her in the eye. "I don't even know if I can do that..." He admitted quietly.

Saori sweetly said, "You can. Look at how good you are with the kids at the hospital, at the store. You'll do great."

There was a rift coming between them as Kai puffed on a new cigarette, the fire from the red lighter illuminating them for a few seconds. She got the feeling he didn't believe her but what else could she say?

"It's different..." He finally said, letting his hand fall against the armrest of the chair, the cigarette between his fingers.

"I'm not responsible for those ones, not in that sense, because they have their own parents, or other family to go to. How can I be 100 percent responsible for someone else?"

Saori felt her body heat up and face go tight. She shouted, moving to stand up, "All I'm saying is that you're great with kids, Kai, not that you're responsible for them."

"This one I will be!" He yelled back at her, "And I'm not ready for that kind of responsibility!"

"Well, it's too damn late to do anything about it! I'm in my third month, no abortion clinic will take me so you're just going to have to deal with it! You stick it in, you better as hell be man enough to stick around!" She teared up, no longer able to stay strong for him. She needed him too, if not just as much right now.

Through hiccuping sobs she said, "And for the record, Mr. Asshole... I'm scared too!"

She crumpled to the ground, barely missing the pulled out chair as she went down, slamming onto her knobby knees.

Kai barely moved as she fell to her knees, just looking at her as tears began to build up in his own eyes.

Of course she would be scared too, probably more so than him seeing as how she was the one carrying the child and the one having to endure all the changes and the birth itself.

But, three months in? Out of nine? Why hadn't she told him sooner?! Had she been hiding it, just to do this to them, or because she was afraid of this exact moment happening? While that thought bounced around in his head, he was also envious of her. She'd already had all that time to get used to the idea of being a parent, while he was just suddenly thrown into it.

Sure, he stuck it in but it wasn't all just him either. It never was. Love takes two after all. But he wasn't fixing to do what she had and point fingers like that.

Instead, he slowly slumped out of his chair onto his own knees. On all-fours he crawled over to her, and wrapped his arms around her.

If they were both scared then they could be scared together, figure it out together like they always did. He just wasn't sure how well it would all work out in the end, but one thing he did know was it wasn't the end of the world or them.

Saori fell into his hold, almost automatically, the tears not stopping. In the midst of sobbing like a toddler who'd fallen off their bike, she blubbered out, "At first I, I wasn't sure."

"About what?" Kai kindly coaxed as he held her and ran his fingers through her hair.

"About being pregnant. I thought maybe it was just my body being under too much stress, or being overworked and not sleeping right." Wiping her eyes and sniffling as she tried to compose herself, she added, "But, my father got worried and gave me a pregnancy test. I'd forgot about it until today. I took it and ran to you."

He nodded back in understanding, fingers gently brushing the hair from her face before leaning in and pressing his lips to her forehead and held them there in a gentle touch. Hopefully she'd get the message hidden within it.

"I can't promise it's going to be alright, because I don't know. But I can promise that I'll do my best."

Saori blushed, face steaming as if she was standing in the shower. As was expected, her world swirled and her bubbly insides turned to goo, the school-aged girl in her screaming in delight at his affections.

Then she came to her senses, saying tearfully while feeling like an idiot, "You mean it?"

 _Of course he means it!_ Her mind screamed, continuing to scold her as the main focus shifted to him.

He nodded back and offered her a small, genuine, smile. "C'mon, you need to eat." He said as he pulled himself and her to their feet carefully, "You're eating for two now."

Saori became a mix of offended and amused. Leave it to her husband. She laughed back as she let him lift her up, the air between them now light and roomy.

"Really, babe, how am I supposed to take that?" She said as she giggled.

He shrugged at her, his smile turning more into a smirk. "You tell me."

Saori laughed even louder, embarrassed of herself. What to say to that? She turned toward the house, her steps stumbly due to laughing so hard at her own stupidity. Then she animatedly tripped over an unseen box of beer cans which sat by the door but off to the side.

"Whoa!" Kai moved quickly, his hands effortlessly grabbing her from behind, icy fingers wrapping around her ribs, just below her breasts.

"Are you okay?" He asked, sounding uncharacteristically short of breath. Through her back she could feel his heart beating. She'd scared him, again.

While she turned around to face him, the light from the kitchen cascading on them as if it were a heavenly halo or glow, Kai took the opportunity to capture her lips in his, something overtaking him.

"What was that for?" Saori asked after Kai set her lips free, her breath stolen along with her heart.

Kai cupped her cheek, keeping her eyes locked with his.

The warm wind swept their hair and clothing to-and-fro, and in the silence, Kai kissed her once more, all the love he felt for her at the forefront.

Saori kissed him back, loving that he was being so affectionate all the sudden. Then it hit her why...

They pulled away, Kai still not letting her go. He smiled at her and she smiled back, her grin feeling two times bigger than her face.

She could see it written all over him now... He was happy and had fallen in love with her all over again.

 **Two** months past before anyone noticed and word spread in their group of friends.

"I'm gonna be an uncle, oh my Goooood! Hahahaha" Max shouted, taking both of Kai's hands and hopping both of them up and down in a circle. Much to the amusement of all around.

"Aww, there's a good big brother." Tyson lovingly teased, grinning widely as he stood next to his girlfriend Tammy. Tyson proposed some days ago, this action coming after a bumpy road full of rehab visits and a terrible breakup then a slow retry.

"Oh my god, honey." Tammy interjected with a laugh, looking at him lovingly.

Tyson brushed a kiss on the top of her head, taking his hand in hers. He was proud of her for finally getting sober, knowing that it wasn't an easy process. He knew relapses were possible but he secretly hoped that he would never have to go through all that again.

"Congrats, dude." Tyson said, extending a hand to Kai who was still standing by Max. "We're here if you all need anything."

Kai took his hand, gripping it firmly, "Thanks. Much appreciated."

Happily forever alone Kenny soon did the same as Tyson but Kai lessened his hold, not wanting to break the shy guy's hand. Or his first two fingers, again.

Saori walked back in from the kitchen, her steps unsteady from carrying the extra pounds.

Tammy took one look at her condition and remarked, "Oh look, she can't hide the waddle now."

While the room went so silent you could hear a pin drop, Tammy kept laughing, holding her stomach. Gazing at a speechless, watery eyed Saori, she added, "I hate to say it but you're gaining a little weight there. And Sis, as big as you're getting you won't make it to your due date. Are you sure there's one baby in there? It looks like you're carrying triplets." After that, the journalist continued to howl with laughter.

Wiping tears from her eyes, she said, "Oh come on, that was totally funny."

Tyson, who had moved away from Tammy, laid eyes on a stoic Kai once his mouth and jaw had reconnected with his face.

"I'm so sorry." Tyson said in a frantic panic, his hands going up, making a wall, between them.

"Why, I'm not." Tammy retorted, annoyed that her fiancé would intrude on her fun.

"Tammy! You don't say stuff like that! Put yourself in her shoes!" Tyson barked, fed up with her.

Now Tyson was beginning to question whether she'd really been released for being clean or had just checked herself out. The next question that ran through his head, if she wasn't drugged up, was she blackout drunk? It didn't matter either way, that was rude and uncalled for. This was humiliating

Tammy Whitaker, soon-to-be Tammy Granger, was a bottom heavy, gangly woman with deep set blue eyes and splotchy skin. Along with that she had no boobs and lips that appeared too big for her face. She slept in her make up so only one person knew what she looked like without it. She dressed like she was keeping up with the Kardashians all the time and acted like the world owed her. But she fooled Tyson, hardly being her true self around him. At most he thought she was a little mouthy or too spunky at times but nothing more.

"Enough, Tam." He warned. Tyson looked at Saori and said earnestly, "I'm so _so_ sorry. You look fantastic. Just keep doing what you're doing."

With a hum that said he wasn't going anywhere, Kai took Tyson by his wrist and yanked him aside. As he took Tyson with him, Kai hollered back, "Max, take Saori upstairs. Kenny, you go with them."

He shoved Tyson around the corner toward the backdoor, "And Tammy, GET THE _FUCK_ OUT OF OUR HOUSE!"

Not caring to hear her response or see her face any longer, he left to have his man-to-man chat with Tyson.

Once the door was shut, Kai let loose, Tyson staying quiet so as not to get knocked out cold.

"I've had it!" Kai screamed, storming closer to him, finally making visible how livid he really was. "Leave her ass! For real this time, no more chances! She's put us all through enough!"

Tyson swallowed the rising, painful lump in his throat, and his eyes filled with tears, knowing that his friend was right. But he had no choice.

"I can't." Tyson said woefully, stuffing his hands in his pockets and shifting the weight on his feet.

Kai folded his arms over his chest, "Why?" He demanded.

Tyson's eyes shifted, his stance showing how uneasy he felt. He looked at the taller one and said bittersweetly, "She's pregnant."

Kai gave him a stern look that said he had just royally screwed his life up. "Do I feel sorry for you."

Kai then paused, taking the somber sounding news in. "Is it really yours?"

Tyson shrugged, pitting himself too. "The timeline matches up, so, most-likely, yes."

Kai relaxed, his mind putting the pieces together, "She trapped you."

"Yep." Tyson looked away, at the ground, disappointed in the situation too. He sucked on his lips, rubbing them together as he took a deep breath in and out through his nose. Then with an audible popping noise, they came back out. "She did."

Tyson looked at Kai blankly and said, "She went off the pills and I didn't know it. She said they broke her face out."

Kai's face faltered into a sad one, his eyes expressing how much he felt for him. "That's still no excuse."

Tyson let out a defeated breath, and walked up to him. He said plainly, "It is what it is."

"If you need anything-" Kai stopped himself, feeling shy.

Tyson smiled widely, feeling, for that second, happy again. "Thanks, I appreciate it."

That night, Kai told Saori what he'd learned, prompting Saori to call Tammy and give her a piece of her mind along with Kai's. Making her cry was one thing, according to her anyway. But both strongly agreed that trapping a man with a child even she didn't want was morally messed up on so many levels. That child was in for a hard life and all involved knew it.

 **The** pair walked with their bags up to their new abode as the bus drove off. It was a small, old era style home on the outskirts of Japan's cities.

At the brokenhearted behest of their father/ father-in-law, they moved to a place with lots of room and fresh air, away from smog and crowds. A couple of neighbors were ok to have, but he felt too many eyes on them would cause more unneeded stress, on all three of them. They needed some place where they knew no one and none knew them, fresh start, and they agreed. Both agreeing more for the other's sake then themselves.

Kai took the luggage in the already furnished living room and then helped his exhausted wife inside, her left arm over his sturdy shoulders. She was in her last trimester, but the things that were going right for them had suddenly taken a hard turn left.

"I'm alright, Kai." Saori insisted, her voice breathless as she was sat on the couch.

Kai kissed her forehead, holding her face in his hands. He let his touch linger a second longer before standing to his full height.

Wordlessly he went around to the dining room and pulled out a slew of wide bottles. The prenatal vitamins and other medicines shook like clunky maracas in his hands as he moved them up and out from her bottomless pit of a bag which sat pushed up to the table.

While they weren't prescribed, minus the B12 and magnesium supplements, Kai was afraid he'd lose her if she didn't stay on top of her health. He didn't make her do anything strenuous unless he knew he couldn't help it (or wouldn't win the incoming argument) and often fussed over her to what she called an annoying degree.

She understood why and found it sweet, but he was almost suffocating. As he came back, into her line of vision, she wondered... Was this how he was with Mariah after awhile? Was she the reason he was being this way?

"It's really amazing, ya know?"

"What is?" Kai said, briefly smiling at her before going back to pressing and twisting the colorful, childproof caps open.

Saori grinned back and said jokingly, "That your smile isn't creepy looking anymore."

The moment he heard her bust into fits of loud laughter, Kai fumbled in shock, nearly dropping and spilling the plastic container of medical candies.

"W-was that, was that really necessary?" He asked, a bit hurt by that. She knew how insecure he was about it.

Seeing how she'd gotten to him, Saori stopped, feeling utterly awful. After all this time she thought he'd moved passed it, but she was wrong.

"Kai, I'm sorry, I was joking. You have a beautiful smile. Really." Saori said, watching him closely.

"It's fine." He said, subtly scoffing at her while he continued to organize the day's chewables. Hormonal or not, she knew what she was doing. That's what pissed him off, she _knew_ , but she still teased him anyway.

Nothing else was said between them, Saori taking her vitamins as ordered. Meanwhile, Kai left to unpack all they'd brought with them.

When that was done, sometime after 8:00PM, Kai plopped down on the couch next to Saori who seemed morose but still lost in her baby book.

Kai put an arm around her and pulled her in.

"Hey. All done." He said, tired but overjoyed to be beside her.

Saori didn't say anything. Ok, something was definitely wrong. The icy fear set in, followed by the age-old, lifelong panic. What had he done now? Was she gonna leave him?

Kai moved in front of her, taking over her line of sight.

"Saori." He uttered softly, feeling outside of himself.

Said woman glanced up from her book, and instantly her heart broke. He looked so scared and concerned.

"What's Wong?" She asked, the worried tone coming out automatically.

Kai's eyes spoke all he wanted to say but he couldn't verbalize it. He wanted her to promise him, say she'd be alright, that she'd stay with him. But...

In the end, he just sat back beside her and held her close, savoring all the moment had to offer.

Saori wanted to say something, ask her usual questions to make sure he was well, but she didn't. The little voice in her head was telling her to enjoy this too, so she did, and curled up into him.

 **Over** the course of the coming months, they renovated a room into the baby's nursery and became well acquainted with a certain Doctor Joe. While Saori was happy to meet him Kai was reluctant, keeping his distance, but still staying close enough to intervene should Joe try anything funny.

Joe was a gangly, spirited man around Kai's height who looked decades older than he was. He told Kai that when he first moved to Japan, during the start of the 1980s, he was often the subject of viscous, but still ridiculous rumors which said he didn't bathe and was homeless. Despite their thoughts, he cared for all he could and seemed to be the only medical professional on hand. That puzzled the couple to no end but they didn't dwell on it too long, their thoughts soon going back to the baby, which they still didn't know the gender of.

 **One** early morning, in early October, Kai awoke to Saori whimpering as she squeezed the life out of his hand.

"Saori?" He said, his voice sounding gravelly and hoarse.

Saori said nothing, she just continued to make her pains and discomfort known.

Kai felt something warm spreading around her and under him. Like a punch to the face, it hit him... Her water had broke, and she was in labor. Shit!

He hurriedly plucked her up and took her downstairs, placing her on a pallet in the corner of the floor. Joe had him make it the night before.

"Just keep breathing, baby, you're doing great. I'm gonna go call the doctor." Kai softly stated, sweating bullets as he stroked her head, keeping her hair out of her face.

Saori gripped the covers shielding her lower half from view and a minute later felt Kai's hand back in hers.

"I have a fever." She said, short of breath.

Hiding his panic, Kai felt her forehead. She did, but before he could say anything Doctor Joe threw the doors open in a flash and dashed inside.

"What a wake up call." Doctor Joe greeted as he crouched down at Saori's feet.

"She's got a fever." Kai said immediately, not caring how rude it sounded.

Joe laid his tools out just incase he needed them. Snapping on some gloves, he filled the big basin nearby with hot water, fluffy and clean rags were draped over its edges.

While Joe checked to see how far dilated she was, Saori said, "It started in my back an hour ago. It came in waves. Then I had what felt like normal period cramps. But then it shot around my lower back, through my hips again, increasing. Then into my stomach again. My water broke, then I got Kai up."

Joe removed his fingers and with a nod said, "I see. That's normal, but the fever's bad. You're halfway there. Just hang on, it won't be much longer, dear."

He sternly looked at Kai, "Why are you just sitting there? Go make a dozen frigid tea towels. I'll help you wrap her in them."

Kai did as told, briefly wondering where the nice old man had gone off to.

The two wrapped icy, dripping wet towels around her, Joe instructing him on how to wrap them where they would stay put.

Saori shook violently, every elevating contraction making the trembling worse. As time went on, one hour turned into two, and then three to four but her fever never dwindled. Slowly Saori's whimpers turned to tearful screams of pain, both men wishing they could stop it. Kai especially.

"Give her an epidural. _Something_!" Kai screamed, anger and frustration evident throughout him.

Joe gave him a somber glance while he circled a warm rag on Saori's belly. "We don't have anything like that here."

"You expect me to believe that? Help her!" Kai ordered, feeling like he was back in the arena, aged fourteen.

Joe stayed quiet a little bit longer, and then with the clearing of his suddenly dry throat, he sadly said, "We don't have stuff like that here because it's being rationed, and I've run out... I'm sorry, Mr. Hiwatari."

Doctor Joe checked her one more time, feeling guilty that he was hurting her so much.

"It'll all be better soon." Kai told her, realizing it was time.

"Time to push. I'm going to count to ten, and when I get to ten you take a breather, on one you push again... Ready?"

Kai watched in anticipation as Saori went to work, but at times she was barely able to catch her breath which scared him.

Before either knew it, there was a boisterous, screeching cry. Their baby was finally here.

"It's a boy!" Joe shouted as he cleaned it up, happy as ever when it came to babies.

Kai turned to Saori, wiping tears of joy from his eyes, "Did you see? Our baby's here, and it's a boy."

Joe's face soured, seeing crimson pool from underneath the woman and out along the floor.

In the quiet, he gazed ahead. He focused on Kai, who was struggling to wake her up.

"It's futile." Joe said after a bit, his heart breaking. But it was obvious that Kai didn't hear him as he continued to scream for her.

Kai crumbled, sobbing historically on her blanket, just below her unmoving chest. Time had stopped and everything faded away.

After some time of watching this, Joe made his move, slowly stepping up to him. As much as he hated to do so, a dose of reality had to be given eventually. He moved the man, sitting him up against the couch. He seemed lifeless, like an empty shell as he handed his baby to him. He instructed him on the best way to hold him and waited.

Kai quietly held the newly wrapped bundle in his arms. He was completely numb but somehow still felt happy to see his baby. A boy. After months of going back and forth on what they would have, they ended having a beautiful baby boy.

"He's healthy. Has all ten toes and fingers too. I counted, but you want you can double check." Joe jovially said. He then began to clean up, resterilize, and gather up his tools. Then while Kai was still distracted, he carefully covered up Saori's body with the sheets and blanket she had on for warmth.

"What will you do?" Joe asked after some minutes, looking at the man. His heart went out to both of them.

Kai would know the pain this loss caused, but he would also know the warmth and love Saori held. Their son wouldn't know a single piece of her.

"Huh?" Kai let out, looking up at him in surprise, his brain finally registering he'd said something to him.

Joe acted as if that was normal. For him it was. "What will you do? Will you tell him if he asks about her?"

Kai looked at his son and said, "What he doesn't know won't hurt him, not like it does me."

Joe gave him a hard look and said, "He'll resent you if you don't tell him, especially when he asks, when he's older."

It was a warning he gave to all who lost a spouse young; be they man, woman, or identified as something else. Regardless of who he was talking to, it was mainly said to young fathers. Why, because they were the most stubborn, that or prideful. He could never tell which. Maybe it was a mix of each and the grief just amplified it.

Kai didn't say a thing after that. He heard Joe leave and then come back with possibly the coroner who tried to talk to him but he wouldn't say much beyond a few words.

 **It** was his first day with Doctor Joe, and though he didn't feel up to it, Kai wanted to make a good impression. So, he got up before his alarm went off and was there on time, at 5:00AM.

Kai walked into the old, ranch looking home. He often forgot that farmhouses existed in Japan, and out here, he was proven wrong time and time again.

At a round kitchen table sipping a cup of coffee sat the man he knew as Joe. The one that had helped deliver his baby, the one that had given him a helping hand when he felt like ending it all. He couldn't help but ask, he needed a lifeline of some kind. It had been just over a month to date, and the savings were running low.

"Mornin', sir." It came out hushed, like he didn't want him to know he was there, and yet he did.

Joe looked at him, still not fully awake. He pointed to a small pile on the sofa and motioned for Kai to go to it.

Kai looked the carpenter-esque outfit and apron over. Did he seriously expect him to wear this? The clothing looked flimsy and light. Could he modify it?

He eyed Joe and said, "Sir, forgive me, but- What is this the Civil or Revolutionary War Eras?"

Joe loudly cleared his throat, disapprovingly sent him a hard look, and said, "If you have something better go get it. _But,_ leave your practice here."

Kai gulped upon hearing that. Ok, forget opinions. Just go with it.

Joe finished off his coffee and got up from the table. Walking up to his apprentice, he kindly asked, "How are you and junior doing?"

Kai shot him a pointed glare of his own. "Gou Hiwatari... We're doing fine. My new neighbors Tyson and his wife are watching him. They have a son around his age too."

Joe rose a brow at him, "And _you_?"

Kai felt warm at that, realizing just _how much_ he really cared about his patients.

"Besides feeling like life has hit the Reset button on all my progress, I'm fine." Kai told him, feeling even more defeated. Now he was just going through the motions, being a robot.

"Progress?" Joe asked, visibly confused.

Kai yawned, turning his head away from him. Then he turned back to him and uttered, "It's nothing."

"Nothing is never just, _nothing_." Joe reminded. "Nothing is always something wrapped in the blank paper of unspoken words."

Kai swallowed, knowing he was right. Alas, he knew his pride wouldn't allow him to openly admit it. So, he said instead, "It is when you leave it behind."

"If you say so." Dr. Joe left it at that, not wanting to argue first-thing in the morning.

"Go get changed, then we'll head out."

"Yes, sir."

Kai went to do as instructed, not wasting a second more. After both were briefed on the day and Kai on a Doctor's numerous necessities, the two left the house together... His first day on the job had officially begun.

 **Kai** trudged inside, dragging himself through his front doors. A screaming baby Gou bundled up in his strong arms. The day had been draining but he knew he wasn't done. Gou still needed fed, despite it being midnight, and a bath. This routine was gonna be hell but he knew it'd all be worth it if he kept at it.

 **Over** time, the demanding career and being stretched thin a thousand or so ways became too much for him. Tyson's declining marriage was causing him to turn down a dark road, and Tammy's already neglectful behaviors were becoming more noticeable, but he'd do what he could for them. Either way, as it stood, Gou's safety was no longer guaranteed there. Now he had no choice, reluctantly he concluded that he was going to have to ask the government for help. He just prayed it wouldn't be a mistake, because the thought alone filled him with regret and guilt.

As Kai laid his baby boy in the crib beside his own bed, he made a vow to always be there for him and do all he could to keep him, _their_ child, out of harm's way.

 **To Be Continued...**


End file.
